I was raised Christian myself, experienced a few different representations of the religion, and more or less moved away from it in my early twenties as I couldn't really give up drugs and at the time, and got more meaning out of life from getting high with my friends and going to shows, etc. There were parts of it that seemed genuine but the people involved with it and the organization of corporate/capitalist mainstream christianity was hard to stomach. I felt disconnected a lot and I still do. I think a lot of my issues have to do with people and not God himself. The suffering and confusion that is in the world isn't God's creation.
Most of my adult life has been a period of a lot of questioning. I have been on a long strange trip for over a decade that has left me broken but not defeated. I used to hold a similar view as the OP. That I had been brainwashed into believing something that left me with a lot of guilt. My lifelong battle with depression told me I didn't need any more guilt. I think now that most of those feelings were misdirected and misguided now. IMO, most of the programming is in the opposite direction than what some of you are thinking.
In this age, materialism is king. Science, logic, reason, things we can verify through the scientific method, etc. I know there is more to life than what we can see. I don't believe that god uses magic or breaks any rules. He creates laws and is the force that allows particles to behave in the way they do. I don't think that God is at odds with science. How can god be at odds with something that he created? I think our current understanding is limited and incomplete and hugely misguided in other areas.
I believe there is a huge amount of deception happening in this day and age. I have come to believe most of the conclusions that we come to are ones that have been programmed into us. Effective forms of deception typically contain half truths of some sort. From the music that is blasted into our ears, the shows we watch on TV, the drugs that we take, the food that is available to us, the main stream, the counter culture, the education we receive, the list goes on and on with the deception we are fed. We really have to unplug ourselves and disregard what we thought we knew about the world bc we are being deceived on a major scale.
Recently, I had been researching a lot of different things online that I have questions about and all of a sudden a flip switched and I feel like my eyes were opened. I have been deceived by a lot of things for a long time. I was actually kind of freaking out about some of it and still am. The Bible is very real, and perhaps the only the only thing that exists today, that is true from cover to cover. There can only be one truth in this world, whether we like the implications of that or not. Believing what you want that makes you feel good doesn't do you much good if the Bible has been telling us the real truth bc there are pretty huge consequences. I don't particularly care for being stuck in between a battle between good and evil but we have the manual right in front of us.
Some of it started with studying the occult, Gnosticism, sacred geometry, and various forms of symbolism. Typical of me, I found my way through cynicism and being a huge pessimist. I was already well aware of the evil that is in this world but there were some dots that got connected in a pretty huge way. It was easier for me to spot the devil than it was to find God. If the devil exists than God must exist. I was seeking truth, and as a true agnostic, I actually kept an open mind about Christianity. In a sense, I have been enlightened and my eyes and ears are open now. I have found peace that I didn't have before and its the real thing, not a counterfeit that leaves me feeling empty after its run its course.
Ive been reading my Bible with a new vigor. It has a lot of things that speak to me, some so much that it brings me to tears. Never in my life has something seemed so real to me. I believe in a lot of things now that I used to shrug off as delusional. All part of the programming thats happening on a daily basis. I have all the proof I need and I found what I was looking for. Its not just something thats just right for me, it is THE truth and we can deny or it accept it. Its pretty simple really.
Its not going to be easy and I still have to give up a lot of things and leave them behind but thats only the beginning. Im fine with leaving the drugs behind, I was pretty sick of them anyway. The sexual immorality stuff is going to be harder. Still feel pretty uncomfortable in church and have some issues with the representation of what Christianity really is and the seemingly cliquey inclinations of what I used to view as 'sheltered and naive do-gooders'. I am certainly no do gooder but im going to try to do things differently. I know some of yall know what I mean about feeling 'uncomfortable' in church lol.
Ive read revelations a couple times now. Its a pretty short book and seems kind of bizarre at first glance. After doing some studying, much of what it talks about is happening today. The end times are here. Five of the seven trumpets have been sounded. I believe that things are going to get pretty hairy in the near future. There are definitely things that I am keeping my eyes peeled for now. This thing is about to get real and the birthing pains are getting more frequent and severe as stated. I would peruse some information and at least be on the lookout for the signs that are coming if you are the skeptical type.
I know we don't like some aspects of the faith, but really its the only thing that matters. Our time on earth is brief, most of things that I deal with now aren't going to be forever. I may never fully get over my depression and I may have neurological problems and severe neuropathy my whole life. I can deal with that stuff now and the mental health issues I have, Im sure many of them had spirtual roots. Something that's conveniently eliminated in todays mental health model.
Ive tasted hell and I can't do an eternity of that. I am going to try to be the real thing. Its about a relationship not a bunch of rules of things you should or shouldn't do. The things you shouldn't do are things that have the ability to destroy you and there for a reason.I don't believe because it makes me feel good, in fact some of it kind of scares me. Its certainly not a comfort thing bc there are more than a couple verses that make me super uncomfortable.
So try to keep an open mind about it, if you seek God you will find him. The evidence is there but we have to become like little children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Its really the only choice that matters in this life. So look for the signs bc I sincerely believe that there will be a judgement day. There is a lot of deception going on, so keep your eyes open.
As far as the original OP, I think this type of conclusion isn't as original as it sounds. Tantrics post about half the class converting to Buddhism kind of illustrates my point about what is really happening at our schools and the programming we are receiving. I found God on my own terms and I feel good about the journey that led me to where I am today. I praise God for my struggles because they have helped me grow as a person and made me realize that we as human beings have a need and desire to be connected to our creator.
I could go on about a lot of things, but ill spare you guys lol. I have a lot of the answers I was looking for. I am trying to spend less time in front of a screen and a minimal amount of time on BL but i think that we live in a crazy time. Its certainly an interesting time to be alive. Im not trying to sound like a lunatic, but all of this stuff is for real and kind of a big deal so I feel obliged to at least share something with the community I have grown to love in the short time I have been here.