DMT obsession/apprehension and insomnia

[firdous e bareen]

Lately I've been obsessing about doing DMT again. I didn't feel like I went far enough in my last 3 trips, although I definitely went to that familiar place - hyperdimensional carnival/circus with entities interacting with the space and me in a bizarre and ineffable manner.

However, I'm also intensely apprehensive about doing DMT again, the anxiety being so bad that I'm losing sleep just thinking about it. I want to do DMT again just to get it out of the way, so I don't have to worry about it anymore, and so I can beat this insomnia that I'm having. Last night I had one of the worst sleeps, and in the 2/3 hours I did sleep, I dreamt about trying to smoke DMT but various circumstances stopped me from doing so. The trouble is is that I live with my parents and brother, so I would rather not blast off when they're in the house, making noise, wanting to come into my room etc.

This obsession and intense apprehension happened after the first time I smoked DMT as well. I wanted to try it again, but the fear was too intense that I never bit the bullet. Eventually, some time after that first trip, I got the craving to smoke DMT again, not to dispel my fear of it, but out of curiosity.

I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience or has advice on what to do. Should I smoke DMT again, essentially to stop the worrying and beat the insomnia, or should I give it some time and approach it when (or if) my attitude changes?

Thanks

 

[Quiglesigles]

This really is not something you should be worrying about. I understand in a way, as I too am terrified of returning to DMT. My last trip on it was very eye opening but also scared me quite a bit so I gave the rest of my supply away. DMT will always be here and there is no rush to return too soon.

But if you must smoke soon, then just smoke. Even if you live with family you can easily get away with it and remain comfortable. DMT only lasts 15 minutes, doesn't produce much smoke, doesn't have a signature smell that people might recognize, etc. So get comfortable in your own room (any room) and smoke away.

In my opinion, you should only smoke DMT when your body and mind are telling you its time. You don't seem ready for DMT again just yet. No offense intended, neither am I =)

 

[tacodude]

You have anxiety for a reason. It's common sense we all don't want to listen to. Trust me when I say it is best when you have your own space you can truely let go. If not you will only misfire and have bad trips.

 

[phuckingnutz]

IDK, but it seems like getting the 15 minutes alone time needed for a DMT trip would be doable...Hell, jerking off takes longer than that.

 

[tacodude]

Yea, but what about the time to integrate it after? What about the time to mentally prepare for the experience? What about the time to set up space? What about time to pack the bowl right? Get breathing right? Even to get to the point of being ready to pull in a lung full of dmt without fear of regret? It is not just as simple as the time it has effect, but the effect it could have on ones life. The same is true for most any psychedelic, but DMT is in a class of its own especially because of its extremely powerful effect in such a short duration of time. Maybe find a safe place outside and a friend you really really trust. When I say safe place outside I mean somewhere that people will not walk up on you as well as a big grassy field or something to spread out in and away from anything like a cliff or any other dangerous places. I doubt someone tripping off dmt would slide off a cliff thinking they were melting into the ground or something, but still it is always good to have safe practices in this manner even if one is experienced. Than again finding a person you feel comfortable letting go during a dmt trip around is another thing that would be hard to do I bet.

 

[firdous e bareen]

So I ended up smoking 45mg of DMT this morning...before work! Bit of a weird time to do it. So after my third hit, by which time I could tell what was about to happen visually, a voice in the back of my head, which might have sounded like Terence McKenna, said "Take the last hit". And I did. I don't remember putting the bong down or lying back. I was gone, and so was my body. I went to a new reality, a dream world, a different plane of existence. However, I don't remember any of it. I have a feeling there were people there or 'presences', but I don't remember them being like the jester entities I usually see. In fact, I don't remember any of the experience, only that when I returned I knew that I went somewhere else and I kept saying "What was that!?" It was strange coming back to reality...and realising I had to get ready for work!

Last night, however, I took 2mg of etizolam to get to sleep. I was wondering if the after-effects of this in the morning could be why I don't remember anything? Could the etizolam, 8 hours after taking it, have caused this amnesia or dulling of the experience?

 

[:DNA]

So I ended up smoking 45mg of DMT this morning...before work! Bit of a weird time to do it. So after my third hit, by which time I could tell what was about to happen visually, a voice in the back of my head, which might have sounded like Terence McKenna, said "Take the last hit". And I did. I don't remember putting the bong down or lying back. I was gone, and so was my body. I went to a new reality, a dream world, a different plane of existence. However, I don't remember any of it. I have a feeling there were people there or 'presences', but I don't remember them being like the jester entities I usually see. In fact, I don't remember any of the experience, only that when I returned I knew that I went somewhere else and I kept saying "What was that!?" It was strange coming back to reality...and realising I had to get ready for work!

Last night, however, I took 2mg of etizolam to get to sleep. I was wondering if the after-effects of this in the morning could be why I don't remember anything? Could the etizolam, 8 hours after taking it, have caused this amnesia or dulling of the experience?

It's more likely that you just took a little too much. Blackouts/retrograde amnesia is a not uncommon effect of DMT at the higher dose range. Doubt it had anything to do with the etizolam you took. Next time you might want to ignore that little Terence McKenna voice in your head, it doesn't always know what it's talking about or what's best for you. It will say anything given the chance

 

[phuckingnutz]

yeah, dimethyltryptanesia is pretty common, at least IME.
I have a much better time with IM injections.
I think, for some people, smoked DMT often times trips a circuit breaker in the brain and, WHAM!....blackout time.
It is too fast and abrupt for me to stay on board...I'll come back and sometimes not even know what happened to me for several seconds or longer.
It caused me quite a bit of unease when I first started smoking because it was like waking up after a dream...not always a good dream either...I just kept smoking away until I got a handle on it.
Also, most people require multiple hits to break through, not me, I almost never take a second hit and I'll still blackout even then.
Adjust your dose and you'll be fine.Oh, glad you were able to squeeze in a trip in your constrained situation...you see jesters too huh?

 

[tacodude]

IM injection of kitchen chemistry extracted DMT is a HORRID idea.... Don't inject any dmt that isn't lab tested to be 99.99% pure especially without a 20 micron filter

 

[phuckingnutz]

IM injection of kitchen chemistry extracted DMT is a HORRID idea.... Don't inject any dmt that isn't lab tested to be 99.99% pure especially without a 20 micron filter

Well Taco, or is it Dude?...anyway, my "kitchen chemistry DMT" is tried and true and I use .2micron filter for my injectables...have done IM injections of my bathtub DMT well over a hundred times with no ill effects.
Besides, I wasn't suggesting for OP to try that ROA anyway...just stating a fact, but thanks for the advice.