chaosbydesign
Bluelighter
~A (Very Long) Write-up Collection of my DMT Experiences~
Subject:
Gender: F
Weight: 95lbs
Background: fascinated with tryptamines, experienced with many different psychedelics.
First off, I apologize for any typos… I was typing all of this up pretty quickly because I was excited about it.
PRELUDE:
The following write-up is a collection of most of the DMT experiences I have had over the past two years. I went through a time period where I was using DMT fairly often because I was so interested in the unique experiences it offered as a psychedelic, and I think now that perhaps I shouldn't have used it as frequently. I base this on the fact that I now have a higher tolerance than I used to, and breaking through has become very hit or miss (even when I take hit after hit, it's almost as if I only break through at certain "predetermined" times, regardless of how high or lose the dose). Still, I don't regret anything, as this has all been a learning process and now I have a wealth of interesting experiences to share here - it is going to be a delight to write this up (I am remembering all of these experiences based on notes in my Trip Report journal). This is going to be long, but feel free to just read a few if you don't have the time for all of it!
BACKGROUND INFO:
It is quite a story! Some of these experiences have seemed to be continuations of previous experiences, and there are also certain 'entities' that I have encountered multiple times. I must explain that the way I look at 'entity contact' on DMT is that these entities may exist separately from us or they may exist solely within us (in this case, it would be useful to interpret these experiences in the same way we would dreams). I also think it's possible that these entities may be part of ourselves and separate at the same time; for example maybe they operate from "microconsciousnesses" that inhabit and make up our larger, springboard consciousness that we operate from, and perhaps DMT provides us access to this type of interaction or communication. I suppose that my point is, in regards to these otherworldly perceptions I don't believe anything for sure and I keep an open mind to all of the options. When describing my experiences, I will likely refer to these entities as if they are actual beings that are separate from us, as that is the way it has often felt for me when in hyperspace. I hope that these experiences give the reader an idea of how diverse DMT experiences can be for one single person. My experiences have ranged from spiritually glowing to disgusting and terrifying, and entities I have "met" have been both helpful and affirming of all that I value in life, to wanting to use me for their own purposes or trick me. Even throughout the difficult trips, I have remained fascinated by this compound all the way and still am to this day, though I haven't partaken in quite some time.
***
The first time I really got a strong effect on DMT, I still felt ties to my ego and environment. I encountered three alien-like beings that were tall and slender. They weren't very detailed; they were seen mainly as silhouettes. One of them came up to me with a round seed-like object in his hands and presented it to me. It had a glowing pinpoint of light, and he seemed to be trying to get me interested in the object. During this experience, I was on the phone with my partner (D) and he was doing 5-MeO-DMT on the other end. I think that D's experience didn't encompass him as much, because during my experience I heard him saying my name on the phone, which confused me a bit. I told him, "Don't call me that." When I turned my attention to the phone to tell him this, the entity that was offering me the object seemed to back off as if he understood, "Oh, you're busy right now. I'll come back another time." I remember being a little disappointed, as he dissipated right after this and I began to come down. Pretty typical experience, and it is worth noting that I purposely hadn't listened to Terence McKenna or others describing their DMT experiences because I had heard that so many people experience similar concepts and entities. After this first experience, I started reading all about the similarities across DMT experiences of various individuals. I found out that it wasn't uncommon for people to have objects bestowed upon them by entities. I was simply amazed that my experience had been a "textbook DMT experience" regardless of the fact that I hadn't had any expectations because I hadn't read much about the specifics of others' experience.
***
After this, intrigued, I had a couple more experiences that week. One of them was pretty much just colorful eye candy and no entity contact - orange and lime entities in hula skirts, dancing buddhas, sentiments of my dream the night before. Another time, I felt lonely and wanted to communicate with somebody but instead I found myself in a barren space that seemed to be deep underground. This space consisted only of machines and devices. They reminded me of cameras a little bit, but they seemed invasive in some sense and pointed towards me. This whole dark-ish experience seemed very vague and there was not much color. For the rest of these experiences, I will just write about what I encountered in each visit to hyperspace (separated by stars) and not so much about the circumstances under which the DMT was had.
***
There were beings all around me. They were surrounding me and had objects that seemed pointy, container-like and made of glass. These beings seemed reptilian - how cliche. They proceeded to put a viscous liquid into a pointy glass container and then put it in the ground, where it burrowed into the ground. I felt that the entities were trying to tell me something about the state of the Earth. At the end, they dispersed except for one being. I think that he was male and very young or small. He seemed lonely, but I got the impression that he was acting or not being completely honest. He told me to please not leave that realm. I communicated back that I enjoyed it there and that I also wished sometimes that I could stay, and told him that he probably somehow knew that better than I did.
***
I felt like I was being tested, and had more "reptilian" feelings. I felt pretty uncomfortable, and was still in contact with this reality a little bit. My mind justified my feelings of discomfort (such as my partner D was playing some sort of first person shooter video game in the other room and I could hear it in the background), which was probably an auto-defense mechanism. I encountered entities again and got the feeling that the general consensus about me in the space was that even if a "dark" or "evil" spirit encountered me, I was so naive that I would probably find the good within it. This could be good as well as bad… Bad as in I could be taken advantage of or used as some sort of host, but I could make the situation "good" and change things just from my perception alone. They seemed like they were evaluating me on something… uneasy.
***
I felt like… "Wait.. isn't there something I'm supposed to be finding out; inquiring about?" And as soon as I asked, everything exploded in my face. Everyone rushed forth, urgently giving me a message. War gears turned. Imagery of guns, bombs, war symbols, cannons, tanks and strange masked people flooded my field of vision and emotion. It was overwhelming to say the least. There was a warning… "This is imminent… this is serious…" Information was disclosed unto me about the state of the world. The feeling became more and more abstract as well as terrifying and alarming. Then suddenly, I felt a feeling of LOSS unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I've never had anybody really close to me die for real, but I felt like this right now. It felt so wrong, like something had been prematurely snatched away from me; from life. It felt so dirty and even slightly "evil", but that sounds stupid. Profound sadness and grief. The resolution was, this really could happen. But there was good news too- I had love and I needed to appreciate what I had because who ever knows what could happen? At the end of that experience, some sort of trickster-ish entity said something to me like, "Wait two months before visiting us again…. Ha.. okay, two weeks is fine. We really *do* want you here; don't feel bad!" …So bizarre.
***
I had a very special trip with D and my friend, N. I could tell right away that this was going to be more intense than anything I had experienced on DMT up until that point. I slipped into a place where I lost complete contact with the waking reality as I knew it, and did not remember my surroundings or who I was at all (yet I must have still remembered my life somehow and you will see why). I returned to a place that seemed very familiar, however. Everything was happening at once. I felt a presence of sorts, but no communication (at least not a banter). At the beginning, I felt terrified but I somehow loved it at the same time because it was just so amazing. I felt scrutinized and I knew I had to give up everything and all control in order to be alright, so I surrendered as quickly as I could. I'm glad I did, otherwise it would have probably been unbearable. I thought that I was in other places entirely. I felt specific 'era feelings' of different time periods of my life. They were SO real and had synesthetic qualities. I felt myself living in all of the places I'd ever lived in before, yet I still somehow was not in touch with my ego; it felt like a familiar dream space. It was like I was reliving every moment of my entire life at once, and this one moment was eternal. I saw bright colors that were arranged sort of like a Western blot but they were glowing and shifting and more colorful. It was like a code. It would change abruptly, like it was being operated by a light switch that had a lot of different settings. I remember one time, the 'code' turned black and white, which alarmed me somehow for a second. As I came down, I remembered my life again and that I was in N's bedroom and had just had some DMT, and I just felt pure bliss. I kept laughing at the sheer ridiculousness that is Life and existence, and was so wowed by the whole experience.
***
This was quite delightful! I was in a different place entirely and it was very, very colorful. This is the only experience I can think of where I saw "elf-like" creatures, though I didn't think of this way when I was there. I was in a multi-dimensional place that unfolded in all directions and on all sides. I couldn't tell where the ceiling, floor or walls began. There were boxes on every "wall" lined up everywhere, and each box had a small wooden looking creature inside. Each creature had a sort of pointed hat and interchangeable body parts that could be switched with the parts of others. They were all identical in shape and form, but had different colored and textured parts. "Souls" or energies could also transfer from one being to another. I could become part of them and they could become part of me. There was a constant "existential narrative", most of which I can't remember.. but it was about what existence was and the space I had come across's role in existence. I remember that the narrative assured me that "I could come back anytime I wanted". There were so many AMAZING details that I wish I could remember of this place. At the time, I remember knowing that it was so intricate and out of this world that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to possibly remember everything at the time, which kind of devastated me because I wanted so desperately to be able to bring it back. I still took in everything that I could and it was so beautiful.
***
On the porch outside. The atmosphere was inspirational! This trip was kind of similar to the one I had at N's house in the way that I transcended my tethers to this reality in a similar way. I felt like I was splashed with water or had water poured all over me, drenched, and the feeling was so vivid. I also felt like there was something in my throat. (I later found out on DMT-nexus that this sensation is called the 'DMT throat marble'…) I went through a sort of path.. perhaps a fabric maze, though I was sensing where I was rather than visually seeing it. I was washed in deja vu, as I remembered this exact path or process as something I had gone through before, maybe even numerous times. It didn't feel as if it had happened in a dream or psychedelic experience, but it's possible it had… not sure. I knew that I would never remember all the details as it was so complex… there were things going on and projects happening everywhere all around me, and I was a part of it. Every actual movement I made caused the colors and scene to change. If I put my physical hands out, with my eyes closed I could see the resonance it created in the 'realm'. I could feel the physical qualities of things synthetically. When I came down, I watched reality reassemble. Everything for a bit was wispy and stringlike, blowing in the wind, as if the fabric of reality had been reduced to mere strings. It was really amazing to watch and the comedown was kind of overwhelming.
***
Had some DMT on top of Ketamine. This was *extremely* visual and incredibly synergistic it seemed. I noticed that the sheets on my bed switched patterns with one another (one had flowers and one was a solid blue color) and arranged themselves by color into a pinwheel with a big black hole in the middle. I felt like all the energy in the room was accordingly being sucked into the black hole, and I felt like I was going in too. I think I may have been sucked in, because suddenly things became black and then I felt a sense of grandiose importance emerge in my mind. I encountered an entity who seemed to have some sort of high status, business-wise. He asked me if I would like to take on a very important job position in hyperspace, since I was apparently "fit for the position". I felt so bewildered and astonished at the tie.. as if I was thinking.. "You'd *really* choose *me*?!" .. I felt like the position was something very serious and important and I didn't think it should be taken lightly. I psychically communicated to the entity that I needed a bit of time to think, as it seemed like an important position of leadership as the entity had implied. I thought about it for what seemed like a while (but was probably not actually very long), and I decided to respect the offer/position and take it. I communicated this to the entity, but then the experience dissipated.
***
The very next experience was sort of a continuation of the last one. This time, I had DMT on top of 4-ho-MiPT. This was a very strong experience, as I completely lost touch with reality and upon coming back, was like "Wow, I'm in *this* life! I remember this!" ..one of those experiences. Anyway, my understanding is that I met the "boss" entity.. he seemed to be some sort of CEO in hyperspace! (Ridiculous to think about, but that is how it seemed). He seemed all-knowing and completely ancient. He appeared to be made out of antique wood, and was covered in various compartments such as drawers, doors and windows. During this experience, I felt very honored to meet this entity. It seemed like he imparted some serious knowledge unto me about "intent manifestation" in the waking life through dream and trance states.
***
This next experience, I was still pretty grounded in reality, as in I didn't lose contact with my ego and still knew where I was… But I still experienced entity contact. I saw orange forms and felt a feminine presence. I felt a tremendous healing power from this presence and felt like I was being taken care of (I was feeling a little bit sick at the time). The female entities were very warm and didn't seem like they wanted anything other than to help me… the most warmth I've ever felt from DMT entities. They fed me food.. it was long, and when looking back, reminded me of intestines in its shape (but not gross or anything). I felt happy and cared for, and it seemed that the food was meant to improve my health.
***
This next one was a vague, conceptual, non-colorful experience. I saw human forms wearing black business suits, sunglasses and hats… I got the feeling that they were doing something covert. I experienced a sort of 'video collage' almost, of them doing all sorts of sped-up business transactions… shaking hands, driving places to get and deliver products, selling things, etc. At the very end, I saw one of the businessmen return home to his family (wife and children) and not pay very much attention to them. Apparently, he cared more about his job than his family.
***
I had an experience where I felt like I was going through some sort of obstacle course. I met other *human* spirits (not sure how I could tell or what made them seem human to me, but that is what I perceived). We all had to help one another to get through the course. At the end, I felt immense gratitude and it seemed like all of the human spirits were thanking one another for their help.
***
3 big hits. I don't know where I was, but I was confronted by a mother entity. She was shapeless; dripping, melting, ugly, terrifying, disgusting, and even smelled bad. I wasn't sure what was going on, but next thing I knew, she was engaging me in psychic conversation. She had a wallet of some sort, and began showing me photographs of her son. I could tell that she loved her son very much. She also had a bunch of his artwork that she was obviously proud of, and began showing it to me. The problem was, her son AND all of his artwork were also melting, grotesque and disgusting. I could still feel her genuine love for her son and pride in his artwork, but at the same time, no matter how hard I tried to show her love, I couldn't hide the fact that I felt grossed out by her and the entire situation. I could tell that she could tell that I was feeling uncomfortable.
When I came down from this trip, I found myself feeling guilty for not being able to feel/give the love that I felt that I should have given her. So I had another hit of DMT and tried to meditate on the experience and its meaning. I tried to send out my purest, most intended form of love to her and every other entity under this umbrella called consciousness. I even tried to psychically apologize to her for my reaction to her. I felt a little bit better after that, like I had resolved something.
***
One time, I found myself walking with a 'spirit guide' up on a platform path that seemed to be in the middle of outer space up above what appeared to be an infinite abyss. We seemed to be walking up to a gigantic glowing orb that emanated pure divinity and knowledge. It almost seemed like a theme park "attraction", the way that so many other human spirits were going up to the orb in a similar fashion, to learn the secrets of existence or seek advice or divine wisdom. We reached the orb, and I immersed myself in its all-knowing power. Suddenly, I was overtaken with complete ecstasy; I was nothing, yet a very important part of this existence- crucial, even. I learned SO much when I was within the orb, but as I exited the orb and began to walk down (again with my 'spirit guide' along a different platformed path across from the one I had come up on, I mentioned to my spirit guide that there was no way that I would be able to remember everything I'd learned- I was devastated to already be forgetting. The entity laughed and said that was just the way it had to be for now, and it was best to just accept it at this point. He pointed over to another floating platform in the center between the two paths I had walked, and I noticed an "Existence Manifestation Complaint Desk". There was a SUPER LONG LINE of different spirits (human and otherwise) who were all complaining that they had already forgotten what they had learned in the presence of the divine orb. I found this to be deeply hilarious, and came down from this experience laughing and accepted the fact that I couldn't remember.
***
This next experience was after I hadn't done DMT for a while. Everything was very orange once again, and I met up with the same female healing entities that I'd encountered the last time. Only this time, there were more of them. I felt their healing, caring presence strongly just like last time. We all sat in the space in peace, as if we were at a meeting of meditation to "just be". I felt like none of our 'stories' mattered; none of us had anything to prove about who we were, what we were trying to accomplish or anything. It was so peaceful. But then, something told me to sing. So I started singing/channeling a song from or for the spirits. They became very interested and came up to me very close. One of them placed a clay jar in front of me and with every note I sang, an entity would place a small glowing (pinpoint of light) object into the jar. I think the objects were mainly lime green or yellow. I gradually transitioned back, but I kept singing the song as I came down. I recorded it on my phone so that I would never forget it. I still sing this song before doing DMT sometimes, as it helps to calm me down and sometimes I can invoke those healing entities with the song.
***
One of the times where I invoked these healing spirits by singing the beautiful song I had been given, I was at my summer apartment last year. When I met up with them this time, they seemed a bit concerned about my health again (my health had gotten a bit worse and I was constantly having stomach problems). They came up to me and seemed to be offering me healing. Then, before I knew it, one of the entities extended and fused into my stomach area and seemed to actually become a part of me. As I felt nothing but benevolence from these entities, my understanding was that she wanted to be there to help me to get through difficult times ahead, because I was definitely going to need resilience. (And it's true- the past year has been one of the most difficult times of my life.. but I think I'm doing well.) After she became part of me, I felt appreciative of her presence.. but still in a bit of shock at what I'd just experienced…!
*************
MORE coming later! There are just so many to type up… so I will just add more to this thread later. Thanks for reading (whether you read all of it or some of it.. either way, I would understand).
Any thoughts? If so, please share!! If you find any similarities to your trips, similarities to general DMT experiences, etc, feel free to share in this thread as I love a good thought exchange!!! I especially would love to know more about others' experiences with singing songs (icaros, whatever you would like to call them) to invoke entities.
Thank you and love, especially to anybody who actually read all this!!
EDIT: here are the rest that I added in a more recent post.. I'm going to put them here too:
NEXT EXPERIENCES:
***
I felt uncertain, so I started singing. By the time of this experience, things had started to get kind of muddy and I wasn't remembering my experiences very well. This trip was followed by another long break of not using DMT. What was happening had been clear in the experience, but afterwards I could only remember abstractions and not the manifest content of whatever happened. To my best understanding after the experience, I knew that I had been given something that I seemed I could "take home" from the experience. I understood that this was *the purpose of hyperspace*, whatever that meant at the time. To take things home. I felt like I could actually bring home this physical thing that I had acquired. (I am unsure of whether I'd been given an object, or fed some sort of food. Only recently have I begun to possibly comprehend what may have happened during this experience, and I'll revisit this later.) Though I believed at first, gradually I realized that whatever I'd been given was not something that I could access any longer once I begun to get back in touch with "reality". I realized that it was all a metaphor- I could instead learn a powerful tool. After I realized this, I was given some sort of schooling on this "powerful tool" that I could learn. I think that what happened is some entity threatened to hurt or maybe kill another entity, and I, in order to save that entity, had to sing a song. I knew exactly what to sing. I felt challenged throughout this part, obviously. I felt like I came out on top and saved the entity and passed this test. I felt happy with my abilities, but uneasy and unsure at what I had just witnessed and had held over my head. Upon coming down, I thought about how I knew that my experiences would be so much crisper and clearer and I would learn so much more from them if I used DMT less frequently… so after this, I started using DMT pretty sparingly once and for all, and to this day mainly only use it on special occasions or on top of other psychedelics.
***
Smoked DMT near the end of a DPT experience (perhaps I should have had it earlier). The theme of this trip was something like, "I could be iconic," as in my ideas were worth circulating and if I had the motivation and intuition to put them out there, I could in fact be iconic one day. I felt that I needed to believe in myself more. At the beginning of this experience, it is also interesting to note that I saw the entire room in my field of vision turn into a mirror image of itself. The carpet that I was sitting upon on my beanbag was very colorful and I saw the carpet come to a point like it was inside a kaleidoscope. Everything had copied itself from one side of my vision and pasted itself onto the other side! I thought that this was incredibly interesting at the time and still do.
***
Did DMT again while I was on DPT… This time, I saw my personal blueprint. It was mainly the colors of violet, indigo, and a bit of fuchsia. A little bit of red as well. It was roundish and seemed to emanate all that I loved or stood for in life. I immersed myself in it and felt the divine presence within my aura. I felt appreciative of everything in existence. It was a very blissful experience where I felt right at home.
***
Another time, I had DMT on top of DPT, once again at the tail end of the experience. I was transported to that extremely alien-like realm that I had been to so many times before. I felt like I was being schooled on existence. A teacher entity that seemed to have some sort of almost condescending divine power over me was trying to convince me that "they" constructed our reality completely, and tried to get me to agree that this reality was not under our control; it was being constructed and predetermined by an outside force completely. Even though I had lost complete touch with reality, I did not listen blindly. I was skeptical (not that I disbelieved it, but I didn't believe it either… I always like to keep an open mind when it comes to these sorts of existential matters). The entity was SO persistent about trying to convince me! I remained neutral on the matter, but courteous and attentive all the same.
***
This next experience consisted of about 30mgs of DMT (normal dose for me) along with a few milligrams of 5-MeO-DMT and three nitrous chargers in one big balloon (so it was easier to inhale it all). I met up with a bunch of human forms that reminded me of myself. I felt like I was being schooled on existence again (Existence 101 Class) and there was a teacher entity telling us that we were all meant to be intent manifestors; that we were people who were extra in touch with our intuition and spirituality, therefore we had more influence on the outcome of things than the average person. I understood that the kindred souls in the room were of varying maturities and had their own unique problems. Some were battling with issues of self-confidence, and some were egomaniacs who had realized and abused their power of influence over others. I was told that I needed to be extra careful with my intentions and make sure to not ever abuse this special power that I had within myself. This was a very empowering trip (but don't worry; I didn't suffer any delusions of grandeur even if it sounds like I did.. ha ha).
***
The next experience I had (quite recently) was with DMT and MDMA. It was one of my strangest DMT experiences of all time… perhaps paralleled only by my most recent one. As soon as I entered the trance state, I felt my mouth filling up with some sort of "food" but it was textured just like dirt and even tasted like it. I felt like it was being forced into my mouth, but not in a violent way; just a little overwhelming. I instinctively accepted the food and swallowed it because I felt like it was the right thing to do. It felt like medicine of the earth (as I said, it had the same texture as dirt). I felt an intense flash of insight and knowledge after consuming this food. Perhaps it was "food for thought". I was reminded of how it is a personal mission of mine and theme in some of my trips that I am "meant to bring together the world of dreams and the waking state". This has been a literal idea of mine that I entertain, but more so, it is a metaphor to me and I feel that it means that I need to help people to be more in touch with their subconscious mind, their dreams, and their intuitions. After this, I felt a strong urge to send powerful intent to the whole universe and to all of the people in this world, for them to become more in touch with these parts of themselves in hopes of making the world a better place. With my friend, in tears, I voiced my intent. It was a profoundly beautiful moment.
***
The last experience I've had to this day (very recently) almost seemed like a follow-up of the previous one. After finishing the dose (on top of 4-ho-MiPT again), I saw something I can only describe as white, wispy, smoky ribbons materialize. These ribbons eventually gave way to what looked like some sort of folded square. It looked kind of like a package, but it looked like it was made out of clay or dough and folded a little bit like an envelope. It was sitting on a table that seemed to be in a location that reminded me of the Catholic church I had to attend in elementary school. I interacted with the entity by waving my arms in a specific way, which "woke it up". Then I began a banter with it. I had a complete deja vu experience where I was once again fed food, and it felt *EXTREMELY* real.. just as much as the last time. I felt the texture in my mouth; it seemed kind of cardboard-ish, wafer-ish or some similar texture (I later made a connection that this texture reminded me of the "host" of the Holy Spirit that we were given as Communion). I was given three of them, and went through an experience that I was absolutely *certain* I'd had before (this is where that experience I wrote about earlier that was muddy where I was given or fed "something physical to take home" comes in… perhaps this was the experience, or perhaps it was a different DMT experience that I had trouble remembering, or maybe a dream I'd had). In any case, I knew in that moment that *this was the purpose of hyperspace*; to bring back this material that I was eating! I once again instinctively swallowed it, and was fed the food three times as I mentioned. The last time, I felt the food lingering in my mouth, as you do when you are chewing food and get some stuck in your mouth. I could still feel it as I was coming down, and I (stupidly, HAHA) tried to see if I could retain it and retrieve it after I came down from my trip! I realized very quickly how stupid of an idea this was, as I remembered the "merits of metaphor" and thought to myself besides this that it was almost an insult to this great gift I had received. I stopped trying to retain some of the food and just thought to myself about the gift and how to utilize it. My friend who was with me during this experience told me that he had witnessed me doing the hand motions and dance, speaking to the entity, and then making obvious eating and swallowing motions.
Subject:
Gender: F
Weight: 95lbs
Background: fascinated with tryptamines, experienced with many different psychedelics.
First off, I apologize for any typos… I was typing all of this up pretty quickly because I was excited about it.
PRELUDE:
The following write-up is a collection of most of the DMT experiences I have had over the past two years. I went through a time period where I was using DMT fairly often because I was so interested in the unique experiences it offered as a psychedelic, and I think now that perhaps I shouldn't have used it as frequently. I base this on the fact that I now have a higher tolerance than I used to, and breaking through has become very hit or miss (even when I take hit after hit, it's almost as if I only break through at certain "predetermined" times, regardless of how high or lose the dose). Still, I don't regret anything, as this has all been a learning process and now I have a wealth of interesting experiences to share here - it is going to be a delight to write this up (I am remembering all of these experiences based on notes in my Trip Report journal). This is going to be long, but feel free to just read a few if you don't have the time for all of it!
BACKGROUND INFO:
It is quite a story! Some of these experiences have seemed to be continuations of previous experiences, and there are also certain 'entities' that I have encountered multiple times. I must explain that the way I look at 'entity contact' on DMT is that these entities may exist separately from us or they may exist solely within us (in this case, it would be useful to interpret these experiences in the same way we would dreams). I also think it's possible that these entities may be part of ourselves and separate at the same time; for example maybe they operate from "microconsciousnesses" that inhabit and make up our larger, springboard consciousness that we operate from, and perhaps DMT provides us access to this type of interaction or communication. I suppose that my point is, in regards to these otherworldly perceptions I don't believe anything for sure and I keep an open mind to all of the options. When describing my experiences, I will likely refer to these entities as if they are actual beings that are separate from us, as that is the way it has often felt for me when in hyperspace. I hope that these experiences give the reader an idea of how diverse DMT experiences can be for one single person. My experiences have ranged from spiritually glowing to disgusting and terrifying, and entities I have "met" have been both helpful and affirming of all that I value in life, to wanting to use me for their own purposes or trick me. Even throughout the difficult trips, I have remained fascinated by this compound all the way and still am to this day, though I haven't partaken in quite some time.
***
The first time I really got a strong effect on DMT, I still felt ties to my ego and environment. I encountered three alien-like beings that were tall and slender. They weren't very detailed; they were seen mainly as silhouettes. One of them came up to me with a round seed-like object in his hands and presented it to me. It had a glowing pinpoint of light, and he seemed to be trying to get me interested in the object. During this experience, I was on the phone with my partner (D) and he was doing 5-MeO-DMT on the other end. I think that D's experience didn't encompass him as much, because during my experience I heard him saying my name on the phone, which confused me a bit. I told him, "Don't call me that." When I turned my attention to the phone to tell him this, the entity that was offering me the object seemed to back off as if he understood, "Oh, you're busy right now. I'll come back another time." I remember being a little disappointed, as he dissipated right after this and I began to come down. Pretty typical experience, and it is worth noting that I purposely hadn't listened to Terence McKenna or others describing their DMT experiences because I had heard that so many people experience similar concepts and entities. After this first experience, I started reading all about the similarities across DMT experiences of various individuals. I found out that it wasn't uncommon for people to have objects bestowed upon them by entities. I was simply amazed that my experience had been a "textbook DMT experience" regardless of the fact that I hadn't had any expectations because I hadn't read much about the specifics of others' experience.
***
After this, intrigued, I had a couple more experiences that week. One of them was pretty much just colorful eye candy and no entity contact - orange and lime entities in hula skirts, dancing buddhas, sentiments of my dream the night before. Another time, I felt lonely and wanted to communicate with somebody but instead I found myself in a barren space that seemed to be deep underground. This space consisted only of machines and devices. They reminded me of cameras a little bit, but they seemed invasive in some sense and pointed towards me. This whole dark-ish experience seemed very vague and there was not much color. For the rest of these experiences, I will just write about what I encountered in each visit to hyperspace (separated by stars) and not so much about the circumstances under which the DMT was had.
***
There were beings all around me. They were surrounding me and had objects that seemed pointy, container-like and made of glass. These beings seemed reptilian - how cliche. They proceeded to put a viscous liquid into a pointy glass container and then put it in the ground, where it burrowed into the ground. I felt that the entities were trying to tell me something about the state of the Earth. At the end, they dispersed except for one being. I think that he was male and very young or small. He seemed lonely, but I got the impression that he was acting or not being completely honest. He told me to please not leave that realm. I communicated back that I enjoyed it there and that I also wished sometimes that I could stay, and told him that he probably somehow knew that better than I did.
***
I felt like I was being tested, and had more "reptilian" feelings. I felt pretty uncomfortable, and was still in contact with this reality a little bit. My mind justified my feelings of discomfort (such as my partner D was playing some sort of first person shooter video game in the other room and I could hear it in the background), which was probably an auto-defense mechanism. I encountered entities again and got the feeling that the general consensus about me in the space was that even if a "dark" or "evil" spirit encountered me, I was so naive that I would probably find the good within it. This could be good as well as bad… Bad as in I could be taken advantage of or used as some sort of host, but I could make the situation "good" and change things just from my perception alone. They seemed like they were evaluating me on something… uneasy.
***
I felt like… "Wait.. isn't there something I'm supposed to be finding out; inquiring about?" And as soon as I asked, everything exploded in my face. Everyone rushed forth, urgently giving me a message. War gears turned. Imagery of guns, bombs, war symbols, cannons, tanks and strange masked people flooded my field of vision and emotion. It was overwhelming to say the least. There was a warning… "This is imminent… this is serious…" Information was disclosed unto me about the state of the world. The feeling became more and more abstract as well as terrifying and alarming. Then suddenly, I felt a feeling of LOSS unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I've never had anybody really close to me die for real, but I felt like this right now. It felt so wrong, like something had been prematurely snatched away from me; from life. It felt so dirty and even slightly "evil", but that sounds stupid. Profound sadness and grief. The resolution was, this really could happen. But there was good news too- I had love and I needed to appreciate what I had because who ever knows what could happen? At the end of that experience, some sort of trickster-ish entity said something to me like, "Wait two months before visiting us again…. Ha.. okay, two weeks is fine. We really *do* want you here; don't feel bad!" …So bizarre.
***
I had a very special trip with D and my friend, N. I could tell right away that this was going to be more intense than anything I had experienced on DMT up until that point. I slipped into a place where I lost complete contact with the waking reality as I knew it, and did not remember my surroundings or who I was at all (yet I must have still remembered my life somehow and you will see why). I returned to a place that seemed very familiar, however. Everything was happening at once. I felt a presence of sorts, but no communication (at least not a banter). At the beginning, I felt terrified but I somehow loved it at the same time because it was just so amazing. I felt scrutinized and I knew I had to give up everything and all control in order to be alright, so I surrendered as quickly as I could. I'm glad I did, otherwise it would have probably been unbearable. I thought that I was in other places entirely. I felt specific 'era feelings' of different time periods of my life. They were SO real and had synesthetic qualities. I felt myself living in all of the places I'd ever lived in before, yet I still somehow was not in touch with my ego; it felt like a familiar dream space. It was like I was reliving every moment of my entire life at once, and this one moment was eternal. I saw bright colors that were arranged sort of like a Western blot but they were glowing and shifting and more colorful. It was like a code. It would change abruptly, like it was being operated by a light switch that had a lot of different settings. I remember one time, the 'code' turned black and white, which alarmed me somehow for a second. As I came down, I remembered my life again and that I was in N's bedroom and had just had some DMT, and I just felt pure bliss. I kept laughing at the sheer ridiculousness that is Life and existence, and was so wowed by the whole experience.
***
This was quite delightful! I was in a different place entirely and it was very, very colorful. This is the only experience I can think of where I saw "elf-like" creatures, though I didn't think of this way when I was there. I was in a multi-dimensional place that unfolded in all directions and on all sides. I couldn't tell where the ceiling, floor or walls began. There were boxes on every "wall" lined up everywhere, and each box had a small wooden looking creature inside. Each creature had a sort of pointed hat and interchangeable body parts that could be switched with the parts of others. They were all identical in shape and form, but had different colored and textured parts. "Souls" or energies could also transfer from one being to another. I could become part of them and they could become part of me. There was a constant "existential narrative", most of which I can't remember.. but it was about what existence was and the space I had come across's role in existence. I remember that the narrative assured me that "I could come back anytime I wanted". There were so many AMAZING details that I wish I could remember of this place. At the time, I remember knowing that it was so intricate and out of this world that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to possibly remember everything at the time, which kind of devastated me because I wanted so desperately to be able to bring it back. I still took in everything that I could and it was so beautiful.
***
On the porch outside. The atmosphere was inspirational! This trip was kind of similar to the one I had at N's house in the way that I transcended my tethers to this reality in a similar way. I felt like I was splashed with water or had water poured all over me, drenched, and the feeling was so vivid. I also felt like there was something in my throat. (I later found out on DMT-nexus that this sensation is called the 'DMT throat marble'…) I went through a sort of path.. perhaps a fabric maze, though I was sensing where I was rather than visually seeing it. I was washed in deja vu, as I remembered this exact path or process as something I had gone through before, maybe even numerous times. It didn't feel as if it had happened in a dream or psychedelic experience, but it's possible it had… not sure. I knew that I would never remember all the details as it was so complex… there were things going on and projects happening everywhere all around me, and I was a part of it. Every actual movement I made caused the colors and scene to change. If I put my physical hands out, with my eyes closed I could see the resonance it created in the 'realm'. I could feel the physical qualities of things synthetically. When I came down, I watched reality reassemble. Everything for a bit was wispy and stringlike, blowing in the wind, as if the fabric of reality had been reduced to mere strings. It was really amazing to watch and the comedown was kind of overwhelming.
***
Had some DMT on top of Ketamine. This was *extremely* visual and incredibly synergistic it seemed. I noticed that the sheets on my bed switched patterns with one another (one had flowers and one was a solid blue color) and arranged themselves by color into a pinwheel with a big black hole in the middle. I felt like all the energy in the room was accordingly being sucked into the black hole, and I felt like I was going in too. I think I may have been sucked in, because suddenly things became black and then I felt a sense of grandiose importance emerge in my mind. I encountered an entity who seemed to have some sort of high status, business-wise. He asked me if I would like to take on a very important job position in hyperspace, since I was apparently "fit for the position". I felt so bewildered and astonished at the tie.. as if I was thinking.. "You'd *really* choose *me*?!" .. I felt like the position was something very serious and important and I didn't think it should be taken lightly. I psychically communicated to the entity that I needed a bit of time to think, as it seemed like an important position of leadership as the entity had implied. I thought about it for what seemed like a while (but was probably not actually very long), and I decided to respect the offer/position and take it. I communicated this to the entity, but then the experience dissipated.
***
The very next experience was sort of a continuation of the last one. This time, I had DMT on top of 4-ho-MiPT. This was a very strong experience, as I completely lost touch with reality and upon coming back, was like "Wow, I'm in *this* life! I remember this!" ..one of those experiences. Anyway, my understanding is that I met the "boss" entity.. he seemed to be some sort of CEO in hyperspace! (Ridiculous to think about, but that is how it seemed). He seemed all-knowing and completely ancient. He appeared to be made out of antique wood, and was covered in various compartments such as drawers, doors and windows. During this experience, I felt very honored to meet this entity. It seemed like he imparted some serious knowledge unto me about "intent manifestation" in the waking life through dream and trance states.
***
This next experience, I was still pretty grounded in reality, as in I didn't lose contact with my ego and still knew where I was… But I still experienced entity contact. I saw orange forms and felt a feminine presence. I felt a tremendous healing power from this presence and felt like I was being taken care of (I was feeling a little bit sick at the time). The female entities were very warm and didn't seem like they wanted anything other than to help me… the most warmth I've ever felt from DMT entities. They fed me food.. it was long, and when looking back, reminded me of intestines in its shape (but not gross or anything). I felt happy and cared for, and it seemed that the food was meant to improve my health.
***
This next one was a vague, conceptual, non-colorful experience. I saw human forms wearing black business suits, sunglasses and hats… I got the feeling that they were doing something covert. I experienced a sort of 'video collage' almost, of them doing all sorts of sped-up business transactions… shaking hands, driving places to get and deliver products, selling things, etc. At the very end, I saw one of the businessmen return home to his family (wife and children) and not pay very much attention to them. Apparently, he cared more about his job than his family.
***
I had an experience where I felt like I was going through some sort of obstacle course. I met other *human* spirits (not sure how I could tell or what made them seem human to me, but that is what I perceived). We all had to help one another to get through the course. At the end, I felt immense gratitude and it seemed like all of the human spirits were thanking one another for their help.
***
3 big hits. I don't know where I was, but I was confronted by a mother entity. She was shapeless; dripping, melting, ugly, terrifying, disgusting, and even smelled bad. I wasn't sure what was going on, but next thing I knew, she was engaging me in psychic conversation. She had a wallet of some sort, and began showing me photographs of her son. I could tell that she loved her son very much. She also had a bunch of his artwork that she was obviously proud of, and began showing it to me. The problem was, her son AND all of his artwork were also melting, grotesque and disgusting. I could still feel her genuine love for her son and pride in his artwork, but at the same time, no matter how hard I tried to show her love, I couldn't hide the fact that I felt grossed out by her and the entire situation. I could tell that she could tell that I was feeling uncomfortable.
When I came down from this trip, I found myself feeling guilty for not being able to feel/give the love that I felt that I should have given her. So I had another hit of DMT and tried to meditate on the experience and its meaning. I tried to send out my purest, most intended form of love to her and every other entity under this umbrella called consciousness. I even tried to psychically apologize to her for my reaction to her. I felt a little bit better after that, like I had resolved something.
***
One time, I found myself walking with a 'spirit guide' up on a platform path that seemed to be in the middle of outer space up above what appeared to be an infinite abyss. We seemed to be walking up to a gigantic glowing orb that emanated pure divinity and knowledge. It almost seemed like a theme park "attraction", the way that so many other human spirits were going up to the orb in a similar fashion, to learn the secrets of existence or seek advice or divine wisdom. We reached the orb, and I immersed myself in its all-knowing power. Suddenly, I was overtaken with complete ecstasy; I was nothing, yet a very important part of this existence- crucial, even. I learned SO much when I was within the orb, but as I exited the orb and began to walk down (again with my 'spirit guide' along a different platformed path across from the one I had come up on, I mentioned to my spirit guide that there was no way that I would be able to remember everything I'd learned- I was devastated to already be forgetting. The entity laughed and said that was just the way it had to be for now, and it was best to just accept it at this point. He pointed over to another floating platform in the center between the two paths I had walked, and I noticed an "Existence Manifestation Complaint Desk". There was a SUPER LONG LINE of different spirits (human and otherwise) who were all complaining that they had already forgotten what they had learned in the presence of the divine orb. I found this to be deeply hilarious, and came down from this experience laughing and accepted the fact that I couldn't remember.
***
This next experience was after I hadn't done DMT for a while. Everything was very orange once again, and I met up with the same female healing entities that I'd encountered the last time. Only this time, there were more of them. I felt their healing, caring presence strongly just like last time. We all sat in the space in peace, as if we were at a meeting of meditation to "just be". I felt like none of our 'stories' mattered; none of us had anything to prove about who we were, what we were trying to accomplish or anything. It was so peaceful. But then, something told me to sing. So I started singing/channeling a song from or for the spirits. They became very interested and came up to me very close. One of them placed a clay jar in front of me and with every note I sang, an entity would place a small glowing (pinpoint of light) object into the jar. I think the objects were mainly lime green or yellow. I gradually transitioned back, but I kept singing the song as I came down. I recorded it on my phone so that I would never forget it. I still sing this song before doing DMT sometimes, as it helps to calm me down and sometimes I can invoke those healing entities with the song.
***
One of the times where I invoked these healing spirits by singing the beautiful song I had been given, I was at my summer apartment last year. When I met up with them this time, they seemed a bit concerned about my health again (my health had gotten a bit worse and I was constantly having stomach problems). They came up to me and seemed to be offering me healing. Then, before I knew it, one of the entities extended and fused into my stomach area and seemed to actually become a part of me. As I felt nothing but benevolence from these entities, my understanding was that she wanted to be there to help me to get through difficult times ahead, because I was definitely going to need resilience. (And it's true- the past year has been one of the most difficult times of my life.. but I think I'm doing well.) After she became part of me, I felt appreciative of her presence.. but still in a bit of shock at what I'd just experienced…!
*************
MORE coming later! There are just so many to type up… so I will just add more to this thread later. Thanks for reading (whether you read all of it or some of it.. either way, I would understand).
Any thoughts? If so, please share!! If you find any similarities to your trips, similarities to general DMT experiences, etc, feel free to share in this thread as I love a good thought exchange!!! I especially would love to know more about others' experiences with singing songs (icaros, whatever you would like to call them) to invoke entities.
Thank you and love, especially to anybody who actually read all this!!
EDIT: here are the rest that I added in a more recent post.. I'm going to put them here too:
NEXT EXPERIENCES:
***
I felt uncertain, so I started singing. By the time of this experience, things had started to get kind of muddy and I wasn't remembering my experiences very well. This trip was followed by another long break of not using DMT. What was happening had been clear in the experience, but afterwards I could only remember abstractions and not the manifest content of whatever happened. To my best understanding after the experience, I knew that I had been given something that I seemed I could "take home" from the experience. I understood that this was *the purpose of hyperspace*, whatever that meant at the time. To take things home. I felt like I could actually bring home this physical thing that I had acquired. (I am unsure of whether I'd been given an object, or fed some sort of food. Only recently have I begun to possibly comprehend what may have happened during this experience, and I'll revisit this later.) Though I believed at first, gradually I realized that whatever I'd been given was not something that I could access any longer once I begun to get back in touch with "reality". I realized that it was all a metaphor- I could instead learn a powerful tool. After I realized this, I was given some sort of schooling on this "powerful tool" that I could learn. I think that what happened is some entity threatened to hurt or maybe kill another entity, and I, in order to save that entity, had to sing a song. I knew exactly what to sing. I felt challenged throughout this part, obviously. I felt like I came out on top and saved the entity and passed this test. I felt happy with my abilities, but uneasy and unsure at what I had just witnessed and had held over my head. Upon coming down, I thought about how I knew that my experiences would be so much crisper and clearer and I would learn so much more from them if I used DMT less frequently… so after this, I started using DMT pretty sparingly once and for all, and to this day mainly only use it on special occasions or on top of other psychedelics.
***
Smoked DMT near the end of a DPT experience (perhaps I should have had it earlier). The theme of this trip was something like, "I could be iconic," as in my ideas were worth circulating and if I had the motivation and intuition to put them out there, I could in fact be iconic one day. I felt that I needed to believe in myself more. At the beginning of this experience, it is also interesting to note that I saw the entire room in my field of vision turn into a mirror image of itself. The carpet that I was sitting upon on my beanbag was very colorful and I saw the carpet come to a point like it was inside a kaleidoscope. Everything had copied itself from one side of my vision and pasted itself onto the other side! I thought that this was incredibly interesting at the time and still do.
***
Did DMT again while I was on DPT… This time, I saw my personal blueprint. It was mainly the colors of violet, indigo, and a bit of fuchsia. A little bit of red as well. It was roundish and seemed to emanate all that I loved or stood for in life. I immersed myself in it and felt the divine presence within my aura. I felt appreciative of everything in existence. It was a very blissful experience where I felt right at home.
***
Another time, I had DMT on top of DPT, once again at the tail end of the experience. I was transported to that extremely alien-like realm that I had been to so many times before. I felt like I was being schooled on existence. A teacher entity that seemed to have some sort of almost condescending divine power over me was trying to convince me that "they" constructed our reality completely, and tried to get me to agree that this reality was not under our control; it was being constructed and predetermined by an outside force completely. Even though I had lost complete touch with reality, I did not listen blindly. I was skeptical (not that I disbelieved it, but I didn't believe it either… I always like to keep an open mind when it comes to these sorts of existential matters). The entity was SO persistent about trying to convince me! I remained neutral on the matter, but courteous and attentive all the same.
***
This next experience consisted of about 30mgs of DMT (normal dose for me) along with a few milligrams of 5-MeO-DMT and three nitrous chargers in one big balloon (so it was easier to inhale it all). I met up with a bunch of human forms that reminded me of myself. I felt like I was being schooled on existence again (Existence 101 Class) and there was a teacher entity telling us that we were all meant to be intent manifestors; that we were people who were extra in touch with our intuition and spirituality, therefore we had more influence on the outcome of things than the average person. I understood that the kindred souls in the room were of varying maturities and had their own unique problems. Some were battling with issues of self-confidence, and some were egomaniacs who had realized and abused their power of influence over others. I was told that I needed to be extra careful with my intentions and make sure to not ever abuse this special power that I had within myself. This was a very empowering trip (but don't worry; I didn't suffer any delusions of grandeur even if it sounds like I did.. ha ha).
***
The next experience I had (quite recently) was with DMT and MDMA. It was one of my strangest DMT experiences of all time… perhaps paralleled only by my most recent one. As soon as I entered the trance state, I felt my mouth filling up with some sort of "food" but it was textured just like dirt and even tasted like it. I felt like it was being forced into my mouth, but not in a violent way; just a little overwhelming. I instinctively accepted the food and swallowed it because I felt like it was the right thing to do. It felt like medicine of the earth (as I said, it had the same texture as dirt). I felt an intense flash of insight and knowledge after consuming this food. Perhaps it was "food for thought". I was reminded of how it is a personal mission of mine and theme in some of my trips that I am "meant to bring together the world of dreams and the waking state". This has been a literal idea of mine that I entertain, but more so, it is a metaphor to me and I feel that it means that I need to help people to be more in touch with their subconscious mind, their dreams, and their intuitions. After this, I felt a strong urge to send powerful intent to the whole universe and to all of the people in this world, for them to become more in touch with these parts of themselves in hopes of making the world a better place. With my friend, in tears, I voiced my intent. It was a profoundly beautiful moment.
***
The last experience I've had to this day (very recently) almost seemed like a follow-up of the previous one. After finishing the dose (on top of 4-ho-MiPT again), I saw something I can only describe as white, wispy, smoky ribbons materialize. These ribbons eventually gave way to what looked like some sort of folded square. It looked kind of like a package, but it looked like it was made out of clay or dough and folded a little bit like an envelope. It was sitting on a table that seemed to be in a location that reminded me of the Catholic church I had to attend in elementary school. I interacted with the entity by waving my arms in a specific way, which "woke it up". Then I began a banter with it. I had a complete deja vu experience where I was once again fed food, and it felt *EXTREMELY* real.. just as much as the last time. I felt the texture in my mouth; it seemed kind of cardboard-ish, wafer-ish or some similar texture (I later made a connection that this texture reminded me of the "host" of the Holy Spirit that we were given as Communion). I was given three of them, and went through an experience that I was absolutely *certain* I'd had before (this is where that experience I wrote about earlier that was muddy where I was given or fed "something physical to take home" comes in… perhaps this was the experience, or perhaps it was a different DMT experience that I had trouble remembering, or maybe a dream I'd had). In any case, I knew in that moment that *this was the purpose of hyperspace*; to bring back this material that I was eating! I once again instinctively swallowed it, and was fed the food three times as I mentioned. The last time, I felt the food lingering in my mouth, as you do when you are chewing food and get some stuck in your mouth. I could still feel it as I was coming down, and I (stupidly, HAHA) tried to see if I could retain it and retrieve it after I came down from my trip! I realized very quickly how stupid of an idea this was, as I remembered the "merits of metaphor" and thought to myself besides this that it was almost an insult to this great gift I had received. I stopped trying to retain some of the food and just thought to myself about the gift and how to utilize it. My friend who was with me during this experience told me that he had witnessed me doing the hand motions and dance, speaking to the entity, and then making obvious eating and swallowing motions.
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