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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

(DMT 50mg) - Experienced - Shadow creature

R

Ralt

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
272
I've smoked DMT seven times before, as well as having extensive experience with DPT and 17 other psychedelics involving hundreds of trips, and this trip was the most perturbing one I've ever had.

I take my Zune, my make-shift DMT pipe loaded with 50mg, and lay down in my girlfriends bed and slowly, slowly heat up the DMT. As soon as I get a taste through the straw I start inhaling, taking in as much as I possibly could in one hit, and set the pipe down and hold it in.

Instantly I feel the charge of DMT fire through my body, I feel my body fading away and just lay down and close my eyes and put on Shpongle. At first, colours appear morphing and changing, eventually taking solid shapes and patterning themselves into objects, which in turn spew out new colours to form fractals. Eventually all the madness sort of solidifies into a recognizable shape, I'm driving a car along a road, but nothing looked like how it normally looked. All the colours were wrong, and everything was made out of DMT-stuff.

I drove along for a while laughing to myself when in my head I looked to my right, and saw a fully formed shadow of a man floating next to me, staring at me. It hated me, hated me more than anything I've ever felt in my life. I was shocked and taken unaware, I had read about entity contact on DMT, but not like this. It started reaching out for me with it's arms, burning his eyeless face in my direction. I snapped out of it and "moved" in my head and stared back at him with as much hatred as he stared at me with. This enraged the shadow and caused him to double up in size and get even angrier. I stopped this quickly, and just stared neutrally at him, and he faded away, staring at me until he was gone, with that intense hate.

At this point I shocked myself out of the trip, and opened my eyes, and started gasping for air, unsure of what the fuck just happened. I closed my eyes tentatively, to probe for the stranger and he was there again, starting to fade in. I jerked my eyes back open and I could still feel it's presence, literally right next to me. I moved in the room, and thought about this for a few minutes, and then went outside for a cigarette to clear my head. This wasn't the DMT I was used to, since when does my 2nd favourite psychedelic send shadows to attack me?

I went inside and told my girlfriend and friend and they theorized that it was the "energy" left over from my girlfriends ex-husband who I know would probably try to kill me, at least hates me with all his might. I personally am an atheist, and am left asking and wondering and unsure. I know I was on drugs, but fuck, so terrifying and engrossing. I've never been quite so scared on a trip, even when I've pushed WAY WAY WAY beyond what I can handle, and vaporize my ego with a proverbial psychedelic nuke, (MXE+DPT, LSD+Shrooms+MDMA, DXM+Cannabis+Salvia+n2o, stupid shit like that at high doses) I feel more okay about the experience than that. Even at my lowest, most horrified of trips, ones that had real world consequences, I was not this scared. Beyond that though, it was a fine trip flying through DMT hyperspace.
 
That's pretty nuts, fairly freaky as well. I've had entity experiences with DMT, firmly believe they were real and not made up in my head. In the same way I saw entities I also saw people that I knew in the same strange glowing non-structured area of space. However everybody's experience with DMT is different.

Your hunch about who or why is probably right, gut feelings usually are in my opinion. I feel like DMT tries to teach, maybe it's a warning. It would be interesting to see if you tried DMT again soon and went into the trip expecting the same entity to appear but this time with the intention of resolving the hatred, maybe there will be a really valuable lesson to be learnt?
 
This is pretty interesting, you might be familiar with Jung's concept of the 'shadow self' - unresolved aspects of the self which cause inner turmoil, anxiety and so fourth, it is the accumulation of all that we have repressed and denied been reflected back at us. You can sometimes meet this shadow self through lucid dreaming, appearing in the form of a dark entity,monster or shadow.. the more you fear or hate it the more you feed it, which is intriguing considering as you did this it did just that. It sounds like you were been offered the opportunity to accept and love the most darkest aspects of yourself which manifested in the form of this shadow creature.

Thanks for the report :)
 
I suppose I do have a fair amount of inner turmoil and anxiety at this point. I'll think on it.
 
malakaix said:
This is pretty interesting, you might be familiar with Jung's concept of the 'shadow self' - unresolved aspects of the self which cause inner turmoil, anxiety and so fourth, it is the accumulation of all that we have repressed and denied been reflected back at us.
Click to expand...

Sort of. Jung's shadow is nothing more or less than the parts of ourselves that we do not recognise or acknowledge as 'us'. Very often these aspects are indeed negative, but they don't have to be.

Ralt said:
I went inside and told my girlfriend and friend and they theorized that it was the "energy" left over from my girlfriends ex-husband who I know would probably try to kill me, at least hates me with all his might.
Click to expand...

Hah! Well, who knows. Try tripping there again and see if you encounter the same entity? Perhaps if you approach it in a particular way, you'll be able to alleviate its hatred towards you? Could be quite healing. Psychedelic ghost-busting.
 
OMG DUDE IF YOU'RE STILL ON HERE...

I experienced the same shit, I was on my girlfriend's bed, I took a hit, except the shadow figure was in the top corner of the room looking
at me and he smiled. He didn't seem evil, he seemed reckless but not bad..

He showed me pictures on a wall which was a POV as if you were driving a car on the road, there were mountains to the left....

That'd be crazy if he connected me to you lol..

Here's my thread, I drew a picture of him. Did he have hair?

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/725551-(DMT-50mg)-First-Time-Meeting-My-Inner-Consciousness
 
Yes, somewhat :).


Mine did not have hair at all, it was just pure darkness, a being made out of negative space. Now that it's been years, I feel the creature was one of the DMT entities as well as a lot of unprocessed and blocked emotions/events in my life. Your drawing has a completely different demeanor. It is so hard to describe the intense burning hatred that was being funneled towards myself. I can recognize that as my own hatred for myself now though which I've completely let go of since then, but good god it shocked me.
 
Ralt said:
I've smoked DMT seven times before, as well as having extensive experience with DPT and 17 other psychedelics involving hundreds of trips, and this trip was the most perturbing one I've ever had.

I take my Zune, my make-shift DMT pipe loaded with 50mg, and lay down in my girlfriends bed and slowly, slowly heat up the DMT. As soon as I get a taste through the straw I start inhaling, taking in as much as I possibly could in one hit, and set the pipe down and hold it in.

Instantly I feel the charge of DMT fire through my body, I feel my body fading away and just lay down and close my eyes and put on Shpongle. At first, colours appear morphing and changing, eventually taking solid shapes and patterning themselves into objects, which in turn spew out new colours to form fractals. Eventually all the madness sort of solidifies into a recognizable shape, I'm driving a car along a road, but nothing looked like how it normally looked. All the colours were wrong, and everything was made out of DMT-stuff.

I drove along for a while laughing to myself when in my head I looked to my right, and saw a fully formed shadow of a man floating next to me, staring at me. It hated me, hated me more than anything I've ever felt in my life. I was shocked and taken unaware, I had read about entity contact on DMT, but not like this. It started reaching out for me with it's arms, burning his eyeless face in my direction. I snapped out of it and "moved" in my head and stared back at him with as much hatred as he stared at me with. This enraged the shadow and caused him to double up in size and get even angrier. I stopped this quickly, and just stared neutrally at him, and he faded away, staring at me until he was gone, with that intense hate.

At this point I shocked myself out of the trip, and opened my eyes, and started gasping for air, unsure of what the fuck just happened. I closed my eyes tentatively, to probe for the stranger and he was there again, starting to fade in. I jerked my eyes back open and I could still feel it's presence, literally right next to me. I moved in the room, and thought about this for a few minutes, and then went outside for a cigarette to clear my head. This wasn't the DMT I was used to, since when does my 2nd favourite psychedelic send shadows to attack me?

I went inside and told my girlfriend and friend and they theorized that it was the "energy" left over from my girlfriends ex-husband who I know would probably try to kill me, at least hates me with all his might. I personally am an atheist, and am left asking and wondering and unsure. I know I was on drugs, but fuck, so terrifying and engrossing. I've never been quite so scared on a trip, even when I've pushed WAY WAY WAY beyond what I can handle, and vaporize my ego with a proverbial psychedelic nuke, (MXE+DPT, LSD+Shrooms+MDMA, DXM+Cannabis+Salvia+n2o, stupid shit like that at high doses) I feel more okay about the experience than that. Even at my lowest, most horrified of trips, ones that had real world consequences, I was not this scared. Beyond that though, it was a fine trip flying through DMT hyperspace.
Click to expand...

Unless you want to interprete the experience on a spiritual/religious level which would be perfectly leg, I would recommend interpreting it the same way you would interprete a dream. Doing so can be just or even more vauable than integrating it as a religious experience. I found DMT to be problematic in this respect since it does not allow you to really think about what is happening due to being completely mesmerized by the sheer beauty of it. Mushrooms have proven more productive in terms of insight, since they usually force me to really work out any influences that cause negative emotions.

Think about what the man could've been a symbol for. I would start with thinking about either stressful influences in your life that have been bothering you subconsciously or about aspects of your own personality that you might not have fully integrated into your self. It could be best to revisit the feelings this man caused in you, but the anger of this man could also represent your own anger at yourself or someone else which you might not have been conscious of in recent times.

Please let us know if you've gained any insights (without necessarily going into the specifics)!
 
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