so 5 days of halloween parties just seemed to serve as a minor distractions from life. everyday i still wake up depressed and miserable untill i smoke some weed im just sad and depressed. when im high though it lets me put on a nihilistic attitude that always gets me through. i was talking to someone about it and they think im just dependant. i told her im not but she works for a doctor who gives out green cards and wouldnt listen. this made me so angry i decided not to smoke just to show myself i can. i dont know what ill do but im determined to prove im just naturally depressed. its hard though without smoking i have vary little will to live but im forcing myself to have ambition this week. Remember no more wasting...........
