Dillema of heroin and parents

no jake you have no faith in yourself. Just fuckin quit dude do whatever it takes. I had to leave my hometown and all my friends to escape heroin it sucked I thought I was gonna fuckin die. That was a couple months ago now I realize best decision I ever made. Lou Reed had it right all them years ago shit will be the death of you.

BTW I lol'ed at you saying you have to much to loose by going to rehab thats a good excuse to keep gettin fucked up isnt it?

If I wear you I would listen to Bojangles he seems to be offering you real solutions that people who know nothing about you on the internet cannot.
 
i think you are all wrong and i can taper with the subs

Prove everyone wrong then. Please for fuck sakes do it! You have been through this a million times already and now youve managed to toss a benzo habit on top of a opiate habit. So im sorry to say that is not progress at all in fact your regressing.

If you taper with the 10 subs you have more fucking power to you but how often have you tried this and failed now? I forget honestly. Really man try something fucking different even if it's going on methadone matienance as that would be alot better then the limbo you are stuck in now.

no jake you have no faith in yourself

This is a very good point. If you don't have faith in yourself you can not expect to quit. Ultimitately it comes down to you at the end of the day. Myself nor anyone else on the internet nor anyone at detox or rehab can quit for you. No it has to be you that makes the final decision to quit opiates. We can offer advice and other kinds of help certainly but we can't do the kicking for you.

So please man try something else. Personally i think detox or MMT would be 2 ways of going about it. You say you have too much to lose by going to detox and that is junkie logic at it's best right there. Id say you have too much too lose by NOT going to detox or whatever.
 
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^ really good, solid advice.

i agree about the benzo 'habit.' i've seen it so many times on these boards-- addicts that claim they want to detox because they enjoy the attention of being sick, but when push comes to shove, they self sabotage because if they actually got better, they'd lose the only thing they have in life. bet ya anything that jake completely disappears, lays low for awhile, then shows up with a bigger habit, re-upping his subs and begging for attention from a whole new crowd. it's never ending *sigh*

Bojangles (or anyone)--

if you have a minute, could you give me advice on my opiate taper? I've been doing the IV heroin thing for 6 months. I've weaned my habit down to .4 (4 balloons) of black tar. I have a script for 40 subs, but they're damned expensive. I tried jumping once, but I screwed it up by only using 2, 8mg subs, over 3 days... after it faded I was still in WD... didn't stay on sub long enough. what's the minimum amount of sub that I have to do to get off painlessly? maybe 2 weeks?

thnks.

See thats exactly what makes it so hard to taper with sub. The sub is so damn strong that it makes it too easy to delay withdrawals. The only time it doesn't delay wds is when you're already in wds, so it kind of makes the sub useless. I mean you can use it to diminish a fraction of wds, but than you just wind up tapering and experiencing more wds in the long run, as now you have to withdraw from every new lower dose of sub you took. In all honesty I wouldn't even attempt tapering with sub.
Can you get anything else? I never saw sub given out to anyone in detox before, and I think its simply because those are the people who want to stop opiates. Its the one who go to "rehab" that wind up going on sub a lot imo. I think ideally you want multiple meds, one med to slaughter each symptom of wd you have, than a weaker opoid (not opiate) that won't delay wds too much and will still help.
As weak as darvocets and tram are compared to heroin, I know I was coming off a near 1000mg habit of morphine, and only 300mg of darv a day was needed to feel pretty good. It doesn't logically seem right, but when you have 3 other meds in your blood working at the same time, the cumulative relief effect is MASSIVE.

I'm not saying you can't taper with sub, I just think it winds up becoming a trap for too many people.
Can you get clonidine? lyrica or gabapentin? darvocets or tram? Soma too maybe? I never got soma in detox but they do work incredibly for wds, same as the others I mentioned.

If you want just pm me, I don't wanna break any rules or hijack jakes thread any further. But sub really is a mfkr of an opiate to taper with. Its in a weird way like switching from heroin, to a drug 10x stronger than heroin just so you can taper. I understand why sub was invented, as it removes that mental compulsion that drives you towards euphoria, but I just personally am not a fan of sub tapering anymore after the amount of crap I see with people trying it.
I have seen people successfully do it, even mods on this forum, but in the end it always seems like entirely too much bs compared to simple detox meds.
 
^^^ I would honestly never suggest tramadol as a method to taper off of opiates as it can in and of itself cause a addiction that according to alot of people i know can be as hard to break as bupe. Not only are you coming off a very weak opioid but your coming off a SNRI thus the horrible withdrawals some get with tram. As for darvon/darvocet the stuff is not only trash it is also pretty damn toxic and i certainly wouldnt suggest it to anyone. If he where to try to get high from it bad things would happen to say the least.

The clonidine and lyrica or gabapentin wouldnt be a bad idea though. Hell taking clonidine and lyrica with lopermide would help alot id imagine especially taken with your benzos. Remember if youve been on clonidine for any length of time you have to taper with that as well.

Maybe taper off using the bupe then switching to a decent opiate of lower potency such as codeine wouldnt be a bad idea. Personally i think given his history methadone would be atleast worth a shot.
 
no one seems to see how much i will lose just by going to rehab

You may have "so much" to lose in terms of not being able to get high anymore, but think of the positive life benefits of entering rehab. Think of the many things you need to work on regarding yourself, and take a serious consideration whether not going to rehab could possibly be better for you.

wow people really have no faith in me

It doesn't matter, and is irrelevant.

What matters is if you have faith in yourself...or not.

So...
...do you?
 
It just doesn't look like Jake wants to get clean. I can see how Bojangles got frustrated on the phone trying to help him and hearing excuse after excuse. If you're not ready to get clean then why post about it? And I agree he has no faith in himself if he just dismisses good idea after another.
 
Good job on no dope today jake! How much sub have you taken? Have you written out a tapering schedule and tried to stick to it yet? I do remember reading your threads like a year ago and thinking he has a really tough road ahead of him....but seriously it sounds like you need a detox 'plan' that you are somehow forced to reduce your dosage as you dont have the willpower at this point of your life.

I have been on subs for 2.5 years now so I am kinda in the same boat. Everytime I get my dose low I seem to relapse. Good luck bro! I have faith you willl keep checking in and making progress.
 
If I can kick a raw diesel habit you can too. I had to lose almost all of my lifes savings for me to realise its time to quit, maybe thats what it'll take you. I moved to a different state where my parents were already living and stayed with them to get clean. Ive been clean 7 months now. Except for a little planned relapse last week, other than that, clean. Do yourself a favor, get the fuck off the dope, stop crying, do the sub taper and move on with your life. Ive always said, junkies make solutions, and they tend to do it fast. Heres your chance to shine. Now fuckin do it.
 
hey its been awhile since ive posted. as an update im still trying to get clean. N.a. people are telling me go to rehab but i have to much to lose. they say this is an exscuse but its not. i told my dad i have a benzo problem (which i do as well) and he was exxtremely pissed, now if he knew i was messin with dope again , since ive been to prison twice , rehab 4 times , and im living off a trust fund he is in charge of, i probably would end up going to rehab get out , have nowhere to live , not finish classes im in , not have my job, and be cut off from my family for a VERY long time..............so my only plan is to taper with the 10 Suboxones i have a script of Klonopin i get every month (instead of buying extra zannies)
anyone relate ? sucks because when im clean my depression is so bad i cant take it and this always why i resort back to opiates and benzos. theyre the only happinneess i have

No, I can't relate man, but this plan seems like a very good idea. STICK TO IT TOO! You REALLY need this man! You cannot afford to get caught by your father. Like you said, no classes, no home, no respect, no job. ALL BAD. Get sober, and get through this shit man; you can do it.
 
i wish my parents would let me try to kick staying with them ....

Bro I hate to say this but don't you think thats perhaps a bit selfish? Your parents didn't get you addicted to suboxone, and I'm not sure why you would want to even subject them to witnessing one of your downpoints in life.

I could see if you had lymes disease or something, but addiction is based on behavoir causing biology. Two things only YOU have complete control over. Change your behavoir and your biology will get better. Drugs out of your system, and you clean. You will only discover more reasons to wanna use being around your parents. Didn't you say your mom suffers from depression?

DETOX MEDS. Or go to a dr and have him prescribe you some detox meds. When I got out of detox I was basically just prescribed an extension of detox meds by my family pracitioner. So a dr can absolutely help you out. It cost me $70 in NJ w/out insurance, for the dr visit than maybe $100-150 for all the meds. Just skip detox and go straight to a general practioner. I'm sure even they can help you. I think you can only be a bit off if you are well medicated, and in a couple weeks taper off everything for a week. Run them 3 weeks dude you can be off everything and fairly normal. By chance down the road you get hit by any benzo wds go to a dr and have him taper you off the benzos properly. But like I said I don't believe you are benzo addicted yet.
 
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bojangles.........................i love you but i wonder about your ideas sometimes !
 
^ actually its not a simple choice at all and anyone who says it is doesn't know what they're talking about. getting high is not easier, its actually much more difficult to remain dependent on a substance. it may be easier to rationalize getting high today but in the long run its much harder to stay an addict. so get a clue dude, youre just like every other condescending AA/NA asshole who thinks they have it all figured out. that tough guy bullshit helps no one but your own ego.

and rehab is not the end-all-be-all of recovery. most addicts that get clean do it outside of rehab. you can have all the "help" in the world and it still wont be enough unless youre ready to help yourself.

VERY well put. I also can't stand NA preachings and all that B.S...
 
better. got 3 bags last night but didint use 2 days before thaat................;plus i got ahold of 10 mg MEthadone pills to help since subs werent and some extra benzos
 
today did 2 diesel and 40 mg methsfonr plus xanax but only got 6 10 mg meth pills left so gotta make it til i get paid friday
 
I firmly believe if you want something bad enough you can acheive it. Boredom got me off gear/H whatever your region calls it...However, in a very similar situation to yours at one pont, what I did [and I was fortunate at this point to have this source]
I had someone dispense them to me that was strong enough and smart enough not to fall for my coniving ways. Not everyone can afford to out themselves to go to rehab and there is probably not much rehab can offer after multiple visits anyway.
I never gave into the NA way, but I know it is very big in America. Not so much over here. I have gone every route and nothing worked better than doing it on my own.
You already know what you are in for. Even a monster habit is 3-5 days of agony then the lethargy, anxiety, and depression can be dealt with using alternative measures.
You may at any time PM me and if I may be of any help at all do not hesitate to do so.

Inner strength, Mate and when it gets rough and you want an extra treat, focus on what you are gaining. Write it down if that helps or vividly picture it. Whatever works for you. Nothing is impossible. Best of luck xx
MR
 
Thanks man . almost off the methadone and only been doing like 2 bags a day , stilll lotta benzos but i get a script for them
 
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