I had posted this in another thread I had been following but decided to make a new one about my story, in hope that somewhere out there, there may be other people trying to cope with a similar problem and if they have any advice.
I am on day 5 of complete cold turkey from 3-4 years of slowly increasing dihydrocodeine/codeine habit. I'm an ultra metaboliser of codeine and I remember how two 30/500 co-codamols made me feel .. Then over time i built all the way up to taking 24 X dihydrocodeine 30mgs at a time and could take that up to three times a day, trying to chase the 'good' feeling. For me, it's been very much about the psychological aspect. It was some kind of comfort and I lived for the feeling. I pushed away my 2.5year boyfriend away for good - not by him knowing about the addiction, but because I was a closed off, numb person but also very insecure. So I pushed him away. I am trying antidepressants which I don't think are helping at all with anything. I've had CBT and counselling within the last year which helps somewhat.
Last Thursday I started with a new counsellor who seems really promising and he's the only person I've admitted my habit to. That day I vowed I would stop taking anything as they were no longer serving me, and were beginning to have severe consequences on my health, my sleep, my job.. I've just made it to the beginning of my career.. I'm 23, and In August I qualified as a pharmacist after 5 years of training.. Which does not make me proud of myself, it makes me ashamed of what I (used) to do.
Days 2-4 were disgusting, I tried to sleep through all of it.. Feeling hot and cold and sweats, bathroom issues -threw up once. Even now on day 5 I still feel "fuzzy" and weak. While I was using, I hardly ate because #1 I had no appetite and #2 having an empty stomach made the hit "better". I'm definitely feeling the effects of not nourishing my body properly and not exercising. I'm weak as a kitten and just hoping that every day will get a little bit better. I have no desire to take anything, I just want to feel normal and have energy again. I've realised how I took for granted simple things like just getting up and moving. I'm just so grateful that I don't seem to have had sleep issues, I slept through the worst 2-3 days.
I had last week off work and booked this week off too, and I've been home alone and only been reading this thread and trying to occupy my mind with positivity and taking one moment at a time.
I'm really grateful I found this community, I would appreciate anyone sharing similar stories/struggles or advice.
Stay safe. Thanks for listening to my ramble x
I am on day 5 of complete cold turkey from 3-4 years of slowly increasing dihydrocodeine/codeine habit. I'm an ultra metaboliser of codeine and I remember how two 30/500 co-codamols made me feel .. Then over time i built all the way up to taking 24 X dihydrocodeine 30mgs at a time and could take that up to three times a day, trying to chase the 'good' feeling. For me, it's been very much about the psychological aspect. It was some kind of comfort and I lived for the feeling. I pushed away my 2.5year boyfriend away for good - not by him knowing about the addiction, but because I was a closed off, numb person but also very insecure. So I pushed him away. I am trying antidepressants which I don't think are helping at all with anything. I've had CBT and counselling within the last year which helps somewhat.
Last Thursday I started with a new counsellor who seems really promising and he's the only person I've admitted my habit to. That day I vowed I would stop taking anything as they were no longer serving me, and were beginning to have severe consequences on my health, my sleep, my job.. I've just made it to the beginning of my career.. I'm 23, and In August I qualified as a pharmacist after 5 years of training.. Which does not make me proud of myself, it makes me ashamed of what I (used) to do.
Days 2-4 were disgusting, I tried to sleep through all of it.. Feeling hot and cold and sweats, bathroom issues -threw up once. Even now on day 5 I still feel "fuzzy" and weak. While I was using, I hardly ate because #1 I had no appetite and #2 having an empty stomach made the hit "better". I'm definitely feeling the effects of not nourishing my body properly and not exercising. I'm weak as a kitten and just hoping that every day will get a little bit better. I have no desire to take anything, I just want to feel normal and have energy again. I've realised how I took for granted simple things like just getting up and moving. I'm just so grateful that I don't seem to have had sleep issues, I slept through the worst 2-3 days.
I had last week off work and booked this week off too, and I've been home alone and only been reading this thread and trying to occupy my mind with positivity and taking one moment at a time.
I'm really grateful I found this community, I would appreciate anyone sharing similar stories/struggles or advice.
Stay safe. Thanks for listening to my ramble x
