A Catatonic Simian
Ex-Bluelighter
The bridge of night
we crossed with
illicit steps.
With our furtiveness picked
out and painted, noted
and devoured.
Insatiable appetite of sunrise shall
light and illuminate.
As good as a net to
catch us in.
Floundering in you.
I can't bend to the shape
expected of me.
Screened upon moonstruck walls with
guilt and envy
the same.
Dragged sharply across
frayed excuses.
My world was severed at both ends.
But your name still rocks
in my throat.
We shared mouths, and a
life opened up like books.
Stolen from libraries.
Thrown to the rain.
Your pale blue eyes
blank now.
Clouded by the demon you thought
this had made you become.
You dared not say what you felt.
So you clawed out
your own tongue
locked it in a box
and buried it.
I was caught up in you
for summers and summers.
Yellow edged photographs
still jostle for importance
below the stairs.
If I released them now
the memories would fly at me
like caged birds
escaped.
I can hold this secret between
my teeth.
Or spit it out and open you wide.
But, your face, the one you
never wore with me,
would fall inwards.
I can live easily with
my tears, they only sting my eyes.
But yours would break my heart.
we crossed with
illicit steps.
With our furtiveness picked
out and painted, noted
and devoured.
Insatiable appetite of sunrise shall
light and illuminate.
As good as a net to
catch us in.
Floundering in you.
I can't bend to the shape
expected of me.
Screened upon moonstruck walls with
guilt and envy
the same.
Dragged sharply across
frayed excuses.
My world was severed at both ends.
But your name still rocks
in my throat.
We shared mouths, and a
life opened up like books.
Stolen from libraries.
Thrown to the rain.
Your pale blue eyes
blank now.
Clouded by the demon you thought
this had made you become.
You dared not say what you felt.
So you clawed out
your own tongue
locked it in a box
and buried it.
I was caught up in you
for summers and summers.
Yellow edged photographs
still jostle for importance
below the stairs.
If I released them now
the memories would fly at me
like caged birds
escaped.
I can hold this secret between
my teeth.
Or spit it out and open you wide.
But, your face, the one you
never wore with me,
would fall inwards.
I can live easily with
my tears, they only sting my eyes.
But yours would break my heart.
