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Did your perspective change after the first time? How so?

B

Bilbs

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 7, 2011
Messages
81
Location
Brighton, UK
I was thinking back the other day to my first time and what had changed due to the way I looked at things on that night, what stuck with me and what I disregarded the next day.

The first and weirdest thing was that I felt all loved up to one of my mates, I didn't know him that well but we had spoken a fair few times and smoked weed together. I knew that was normal at the time to feel empathy. What isn't normal is some of that loved up empathy feeling for him has stayed with me until now, I don't even speak to him much and it's been so long since then. Has this kind of thing happened to any of you?

Another thing that changed was when I smoked some weed, and most of you may know that smoking weed makes your brain connect different things together which it normally wouldn't connect together, hence people feeling 'creative'. Anyway, there was this lets say, promiscuous, girl at the end of this huge bed where 5 of us were all chilling on. She had made a move earlier in the night when I was in a euphoric way. She was staring at me, it killed me to look at her and then it clicked in my head: she reminded me of my DOG, constantly starring at me, begging for something from me while I just ignored her. This made my heart sink as I realized how pathetic she was, following me around from room to room while i completely ignored her. Don't get me wrong she was very good looking and in any other state I would have gone for it.

After this bizarre feeling I couldn't stand to be in the same room as her, I could see straight through her without my ego and testosterone running around in my mind and what I saw made me realize that people like me enabled this frankly embarrassingly desperate behavior by giving in to it. Since then the way I look at girls has changed and I now have a beautiful girlfriend who is just right for me and we have a healthy long term relationship.

I also find myself as less of a materialistic, money driven, media swallowing sheep.

Bill hicks "The world is like a ride at an amusement park and when you choose to go on it you think it's real, cause that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and around and around and it has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud. It's fun, for a while. But some people have been on the ride for a very long time and they begin to question - 'Is this real? Or is this just a ride?' And other people have remembered and come back to us and say - 'Hey, don't worry don't be afraid, because, this is just a ride."
 
It showed me a feeling of happiness to strive for in everyday(sober) life.
It showed me how similar all people are, and allowed me to more accurately(IMO) assess peoples behavior on a deeper level. E.G. What previous events shaped, and how they shaped, a persons current personality.
It showed me how beautiful the human race is, despite all the terrible things occurring around the world. I don't think people are the problem, per say, but concentration of power among people.
It also shows just how many social barriers we put up, and how beautiful things can be without those barriers.

As far as the girl begging for your attention, I think your judgement may be a little harsh. She may have been perfectly content just being in your presence. Take it as a compliment, some of the connections we feel to other people may not be readily explained, and may not last after the experience, but I don't know if that makes it less real. Without getting too meta-physical, reality is a subjective term in my mind. If I experience it, it's reality, regardless of whether or not it lasts or exists to anyone else.
 
My judgement was harsh but those were merely my thoughts at the time. She later cheated numerous times on my friend, I think my judgement on the night helped me make an overall positive decision and the way it made me think in that field changed my behavior towards girls for the best. I totally agree that reality is a subjective term. Check out videos on how consciousness drives the universe, quite eye opening.
 
I am a lot happier regularly than I used to be. Since I first tried MDMA, I just became more optimistic, happy, giving. I'm not just out to be the best, do the best, regardless of anything else. I think of others. I'm nice to others. You'll rarely see me not smiling (unless something really terrible has happened). Things just seem better, even when I'm not high :)
 
It made me understand that there is more to life than a career and my 'straight' life. It made me more confident, more 'me'. MDMA is my release from reality, one precious night at a time. Acid is also this.
 
I feel as though mdma has played a major part in my way of thinking about other people and how we really are all just animals together on a rock spinning around in space and all we have in this world is a short life and the people around us. Gave me more respect in general for my fellow humans, I didnt ever really understand how lucky and fortunate I am to be who I am and where I am and to have the people I love before mdma.
 
It reduced how nervous I am around people. I've always had a lot of issues talking to strangers, but since my first usage of MDMA I've realized that most people either want to or don't mind talking to other people. The next few days after I take MDMA I talk to everyone, it reminds me that everyone really is friendly.
 
When I first tried MDMA, I felt that it had an enormous impact on me. I felt that I would never be judgemental or allow myself to be depressed by things that are not important.

Fast-forward 3 years, I still feel that my MDMA use has changed me, but I think these changes are generally very subtle and not as noticeable. I think I've learned that sometimes there can be a lot more powerful ways to bond with people or realize things about yourself than the actual MDMA experience.

I often find that MDMA induced depression is a lot better for my personal development than the MDMA experience itself. This doesn't happen every single time I do MDMA, but yeah.
 
I feel so free and open with my rolling partner. Even if we haven't had anything now I still feel secure in telling him anything which has theraputicly helped me many many times. I never feel embarrassed around him. MDMA made a strong friendship into an amazing (heterosexual) partnership.

Also, feeling the love for everyone whilst on MDMA lasts I feel more empathetic towards strangers when they are in awkward situations etc...

I also feel that I can look at myself without judgement. This is good for if you have any problems or little niggles. You can just look into yourself with pure love and make choices to improve the situation.

MDMA has changed my outlook on life for the better. I love what MDMA has done for me.
 
Since my first time rolling I became alot less of an totally cocky asshole and learned to shut my mouth instead.

also:
"A smile doesn't even cost anything but it might help someone out."
"Everybody deserves to be given atleast 5 mins to try to talk about what is really important to him, even homelesse rockbottom crackgranpas might have something to say"
"Money is only worth what it's spent for."
 
i used to have wild mood swings but as ive been using more regularly i've maybe had 1 bad day over the last 6 weeks

its hard to describe but EDM is constantly playing and life is just 1000% better since i started rolling
 
jerseybrah said:
i used to have wild mood swings but as ive been using more regularly i've maybe had 1 bad day over the last 6 weeks

its hard to describe but EDM is constantly playing and life is just 1000% better since i started rolling
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Using regularly? Keep it slow dude mdma burns out rapidly. Its not designed to be used more than once monthly tops tho u probs know this. Be safe
 
Taking MDMA was a turning point for choosing my career: DJ :D If it wasn't for that experience I'm sure I would have never spent 2000$ on getting the gear and really making an effort to pursue my dreams.
 
I'm sure I would have said all these amazing things it did when I was new to it. In reality, five years and 70 something rolling experiences later, it was just a bunch of good times and didn't really do much for me at all.
 
if your perspective doesnt change after taking such a magical drug like MDMA, you didnt do it right.

How did it change though?

Well for the better, it opened me up to love and the the world, it helped me come out of my shell and be more natural in society...

For the worse? I know its probably physcially impossible for me to ever be happier than the rolls I already had...



Warp Renegade said:
This good for if you have any problems or little niggles
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da fuck?
 
This reminds me of something that happened to me on mephedrone. I was at a party and just did a line 5min ago, when I ran into a classmate with whom I've been going to class for the past year but we never even had a real conversation. We said hi, and I remembered I saw he just had a birthda on FB, so I wished him a happy birthday and we went our separate ways. But then everything changed. It was like I realized I've been in love with him for god knows how long, and I started to remember these "moments", all the little exchanges of words, all the looks, everything I ever heard him said... And the feeling stayed with me, for a long, long time. It's kind of amazing when I think about it, if it weren't for that tiny moment at that party, my life could turn out very different. I have one theory on what exactly might've happened in me and why that night, but frankly, overthinking it might just destroy how precious the memory of it is and always will be to me :)
 
Once a month I blow the cobwebs away, have a good dance and release. I'm nearly 40 now and I've done this for the last 20 odd years. Better than sinking a load of beer every night or a bottle of wine.
 
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