Did I make my friend crazy?

[Clear Skye]

TL;DR: I read Terrence McKenna's theory of inter-dimensional machine elves and brought it up to a friend while he was tripping on acid. A little bit of pseudo-philosophical conversation later, and he thinks that another entity is trying to communicate through him. He's starts talking about separate planes of existence, the physical plane, the death of morality, and swears he doesn't remember saying any of it. I have past emotional, mental, issues and I'm incredibly skeptical, but I'm pretty sure he believes it. I'm scared we're both just out of our minds.

Longer version...
I'm 18, a high school drop out and currently failing 3/4 of my college courses. I suffer from chronic stomach pain and gastrointestinal problems. I also suffer from depression and anxiety as well as fleeting delusions and occasional audible hallucinations. I have severe problems with my memory and concentration that no one else seems to notice. I self medicate with marijuana about once a week though I was a daily user for a while. I just got over a week long alcohol/weed binge and I've just come out of a 3 week long rut. I've tripped on LSD several times and shrooms once. I have incredibly noticeable visual snow and I get intense CEV. I used to be in CBT several months ago and was on anti depressants, but I stopped taking them as I felt they no longer helped. I've recently started taking my meds again, and intend to seek new medical care.

My friend is still in high school and smokes weed most days of the week. He trips every couple of months, and doesn't drink. He has brought up that he has problems with his memory and concentration as well.

I'm not really a spiritual person and I had always laughed at the occult (I consider myself Agnostic), but I've been thinking differently lately. I've been experimenting with meditation and the ideas of eastern religions and philosophies as well as lucid dreaming. I was amazed at how similar meditation and dreaming compare to my experiences hallucinogens and waking life in general. I've had moments where I doubt reality and this has led me on an odd spiritual journey of sorts with fate. I get a feeling that I'm on to something, and I will follow my instincts which leads me to new information and ideas. I feel a connection with ancient symbols and fractal patterns within the universe and I can see and focus these visual patterns when I meditate.

I question my sanity at this point but I'm not sure what to think of my friend. I'm afraid I may have unintentionally caused him to think he was being a vessel for an other worldly being while he was tripping. I question myself enough to know how absurd this sounds, but I'm not sure what to do about him.

I really appreciate any feedback you have about the situation I am in. I'm aware I most likely need professional help (or I'm about to be the next messiah, lol), but I don't know how I could suggest such a thing for him. Thank you for reading all my thoughts.

P.S. Attached is a transcript of our conversation if you're curious or if it might help you get a better grasp of the situation.
View attachment censored.doc

 

[Legerity]

Firstly, whatever sort of spiritual seeking you decide to embark on, remember to take care of your mental health. You mentioned self-medicating with alcohol and marijuana, so if you are able to learn other ways of stabilizing your mental state your "quest" may be more effective.

You're not responsible for whatever beliefs your friend holds. Some people interpret the psychedelic experience as nothing more than a drug effect, whereas other people tend to explore and come to other interpretations. In my opinion it's more art than science and the experience can become whatever you make of it.

If you feel that you are headed in a right direction, then maybe you should follow your intuition. Nobody can tell you that you are right or wrong. Sometimes things fall into place and it's easy to see the signs guiding you where to go next. Other times it's like a black hole where there doesn't seem to be guidance coming from anywhere. At least that's how I experience it.

Question your sanity, I think it's something that everybody should probably do. Look at what passes for sanity in this world and maybe you will find some solace in having found some sort of spiritual connection that seems to be lacking in many people's lives. But you'll have to figure it out, with this type of thing it's ultimately you that needs to determine what is right for yourself

 

[Praline]

Sounds like your friend had a psychotic break..don't give him any more drugs of any type and get him to a doctor if he doesn't get better in a few weeks..

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ I don't think his friend was necessarily psychotic. Perhaps he was just tripping really hard and was having some far-fetched thoughts fueled by the discussion they were having.


Clear Skye, as Legerity said, you cannot be held responsible for anyone else's thoughts or emotions. Does your friend still hold these beliefs when he's not tripping? If he does, it's possible he might have some underlying psychological issue and should consider discussing it with his doctor. If he doesn't still have these thoughts when he's not tripping, then I suspect they were just a manifestation of the LSD and his mind exploring possibilities after you'd been discussing the story with him, i.e. nothing to be concerned about.

As for your symptoms, you need to seriously considered cutting out ALL substances for a good solid period of time and allow your brain to restabilise itself. That's good you're going back to your doctor to discuss your situation as well, I think that's the right thing for you to be doing at this time.

Good luck, and keep us updated if you like

 

[Detrevni]

Well guys I know that nagging feeling of some sort of ultimate question and you're on the verge of the answer. I like to offer a book to direct your thoughts if you haven't read it yet. "Be Here Now" is a pretty awesome meditative book. It may or may not be up your alley but I thought I'd share it with you. Definitely check it out. Peace.

 

[Clear Skye]

^^ I don't think his friend was necessarily psychotic. Perhaps he was just tripping really hard and was having some far-fetched thoughts fueled by the discussion they were having.


Clear Skye, as Legerity said, you cannot be held responsible for anyone else's thoughts or emotions. Does your friend still hold these beliefs when he's not tripping? If he does, it's possible he might have some underlying psychological issue and should consider discussing it with his doctor. If he doesn't still have these thoughts when he's not tripping, then I suspect they were just a manifestation of the LSD and his mind exploring possibilities after you'd been discussing the story with him, i.e. nothing to be concerned about.

As for your symptoms, you need to seriously considered cutting out ALL substances for a good solid period of time and allow your brain to restabilise itself. That's good you're going back to your doctor to discuss your situation as well, I think that's the right thing for you to be doing at this time.

Good luck, and keep us updated if you like

Well, I figure I should give a little update, if anyone still cares...

As far as I can tell, my friend still believes in all this. We've (him mostly) been talking to our group of friends about our experience, yet most don't seem to doubt us. Today, we met a mutual acquaintance and we both tripped on DMT twice with him. We talked with him for a while and he really seemed to get what we were talking about. This all has me really confused, I thought for sure most people would think we were crazy...

Last night, while smoking a bowl, I closed my eyes and I could see three entities in my vision. I passed it off as crazy pot thought, but it made me more curious about what I was missing by not doing DMT. So today on my second DMT trip (of the day/ever), I had what I guess is "breaking through" and I met the same entities as before only in their dimension this time (or what have you...).

I'm honestly not sure what to make of these experiences. I've felt strange ever since Saturday night and it's only getting weirder. I've been having really fitful sleep with weird thoughts during the night, yet incredibly vivid dreams, and I'll feel incredibly rested when I wake up. I've had this weird sensation in my lower right abdomen ever since I came out of that second trip today, and it doesn't seem to be going away.

I can't tell if I'm starting to believe more whats happening around me, or if I'm just getting crazier. I really don't know what to think anymore. I'll probably abstain for a while now, but I can't get over what I saw today...