ChemicallyEnhanced
Bluelighter
I read an horror/porn novella last year by a guy named Matt Shaw. It's called Uniporn. I think you might be into it.
Really curious about how I am doing this. I have not spoken to her since she ghosted me 4 years ago and never plan to again for obvious reasons. Is it because she keeps popping up in my mind?
I am just having a very hard time letting go of this because I have always had a very hard time finding someone who meets my standards being interested in me back. I have had a couple of girlfriends over the years, but I always "lowered my expectations" to certain degrees, because I felt that was the best I could do, and that always backfired. So, knowing that I have trouble finding what I want, and having an online experience where this woman who I was very attracted to in multiple ways seemed to be intrigued at first (giving me her number when I asked her out), and having this be the only experience where I felt excited about someone, it's tough to let this go. All I can do now is improve myself and increase my chances of finding someone I like who could be interested back. Whether that's socially, financially, with mental health and various things, reading about meditation or martial arts here on Bluelight. Whatever it is. But I posted this thread because I was talking to a friend recently, my dating struggles came up, and he said something to the effect of "Yes, there are some people that are just that amazing. If you know someone like that, by all means try, but don't dedicate yourself to tracing a unicorn. They probably can't be caught if they are even there" and it reminded me of her, and produced some anxiety.
And I guess another big reason why I am focusing so much on this online situation is because I kind of developed agoraphobia 3 years ago. That combined with the lockdown and also postponing dating due to self improvement and previous bad experiences
You never answered my question, how am I "disrespecting her disinterest in me"Its understandable with the pandemic and your agoraphobia why it could be hard to move on. With things finally beginning to chill out Covid wise maybe try and get out there again? There’s more singles now than ever before.
I can guarantee when you finally do find that someone you’ll look back and see this chick wasn’t the unicorn you made her out to be. There’s a lot of amazing people out there, you just gotta try your shot more often.
-GC
You never answered my question, how am I "disrespecting her disinterest in me"
I really do not understand how I did not accept it. From what I understand, 4 years ago I got the idea that she did not want to talk since she never responded back, and left it at that, and never bothered messaging her again. Does being bummed out over this not working out count as "disrespecting her?"By not accepting her response, or rather non-response. If you respected her you’d have actually listened to what she was trying to tell you and move on. Again I don’t think she’d be a fan of knowing some guy she never really knew is still this obsessed all these years later.
-GC
I have to be honest...do kind of feel like I am being gaslit on this thread. I do understand what you guys are saying and I think I acknowledged multiple times that she is not perfect and has flaws like any other human being out there. Am I just lying to myself? No really.@G_Chem is right.
She made it clear she wasn’t interested and you still long for her. Worse yet, you seem to have set a sort of female barometer by all you envision her to be. She is not all that, She has issues, insecurities and annoying personality traits, just like every other woman. But you’ve put her on a pedestal, and you fail to see that she could possibly be flawed, aka: human.
I guarantee that if you were in an actual relationship with her, things would not be all roses. You remind me of fans/groupies of musicians and actors who believe that if only they were able to spend time with the star, that person would drop everything and everyone, and hit life’s restart button with the fan/groupie.
The good news is that you’re still young, and there are many women you still have yet to meet in your future. If you could stop focusing on her, you’d be doing yourself a world of good, as well as your future girlfriends.
I guarantee that if you were in an actual relationship with her, things would not be all roses. You remind me of fans/groupies of musicians and actors who believe that if only they were able to spend time with the star, that person would drop everything and everyone, and hit life’s restart button with the fan/groupie.
Do you think you might be objectifying women? That’s the bigger question?
Unicorns aren't realWhat you have with this unicorn is make believe
Fuck incels and mgtowsNo, they’re extinct now like the Ivory Billed Woodpecker. Sure people think they see them sometimes, but they are extinct (this is coming from a wizard no less).
Best to move on and get infatuated with someone new. Become a sigma male, or better yet a MGTOW, and claim your own lane. Just don’t become an incel is all I can hope for for you.
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I've been doing this for the past 3 yearsAlthough focusing on you right now and not worrying about impressing women might be healthy for you now.