mal3volent
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2011
- Messages
- 32,644
So I've kinda been wanting to make this thread for a while, but every time I think about doing it I always back off. I've done pretty extensive searches through OD to see if I could find something that could help me, but it seems like whenever it's mentioned it's by somebody who stumbled into daddy's medicine cabinet looking to get high. The thread gets closed most of the time (rightfully so) or it gets laughed off because no, of course there's no recreation or euphoria when you abuse anticholinergics. Maybe I missed something, but that's usually the extent of the conversation.
So I'll just get to the point here and maybe someone can shed some light on the subject. First of all, I do have a legitimate intestinal issue and dicyclomine has done wonders for me on that front. I've been prescribed it for years and for the longest time I never even considered abusing them. It worked so well that one night I actually went to a Mexican restaurant with friends, which is something I never do with my IBS. Eating Mexican food, for me, is basically instant diarrhea. But I really wanted to go and the meds had been working remarkably well, so I went and took a days worth of pills at once, 4x20mg. On an empty stomach with beer, that was enough to show me the side of dicyclomine I hadn't seen up to that point.
Needless to say, by the time we were actually ready to order I wasn't hungry. Blurred vision. No focus. Fever. I just sat there and did the best I could. Terrible experience...not fun or euphoric, clearly. Gradually after that night though, slowly but steadily, I started wanting that feeling again. It's inexplicable to me, but over the past couple of years I've worked myself up to 6x20 mg. I skip every third night to avoid running out.
There is something intriguing about it to me. My normal routine is no breakfast, early lunch, dicyclomine and 1 beer around 7 or 8PM. I don't eat again until right before I pass out, usually around 1am. It takes about 30-45 minutes before you really start to feel it. I ride the wave, do something to distract myself through the onset of the more unpleasant effects...music, Xbox, tv, whatever. It feels very unnatural and unnerving, kind of like being dizzy and trying to stand on the edge of a cliff. But after I ride that out, it's completely different.
If I have to compare it to something, it's almost like being blackout drunk but skipping the fun part. There's something else though. There's a dark undertone to it, similar to feelings I've had on dxm or mxe. I can feel some of you getting upset reading that...understand I'm not trying to say dicyclomine is as good as either of those things. It's not. It's pretty terrible actually, and it honestly worries me that for some reason I keep going back to it. Why? I guess part of the answer is it's cheap and abundant. But there's this out of body, lobotomized, weightless feeling.
Can anyone make anything out of all that? I know the overall effect of such prolonged abuse can't be good.
So I'll just get to the point here and maybe someone can shed some light on the subject. First of all, I do have a legitimate intestinal issue and dicyclomine has done wonders for me on that front. I've been prescribed it for years and for the longest time I never even considered abusing them. It worked so well that one night I actually went to a Mexican restaurant with friends, which is something I never do with my IBS. Eating Mexican food, for me, is basically instant diarrhea. But I really wanted to go and the meds had been working remarkably well, so I went and took a days worth of pills at once, 4x20mg. On an empty stomach with beer, that was enough to show me the side of dicyclomine I hadn't seen up to that point.
Needless to say, by the time we were actually ready to order I wasn't hungry. Blurred vision. No focus. Fever. I just sat there and did the best I could. Terrible experience...not fun or euphoric, clearly. Gradually after that night though, slowly but steadily, I started wanting that feeling again. It's inexplicable to me, but over the past couple of years I've worked myself up to 6x20 mg. I skip every third night to avoid running out.
There is something intriguing about it to me. My normal routine is no breakfast, early lunch, dicyclomine and 1 beer around 7 or 8PM. I don't eat again until right before I pass out, usually around 1am. It takes about 30-45 minutes before you really start to feel it. I ride the wave, do something to distract myself through the onset of the more unpleasant effects...music, Xbox, tv, whatever. It feels very unnatural and unnerving, kind of like being dizzy and trying to stand on the edge of a cliff. But after I ride that out, it's completely different.
If I have to compare it to something, it's almost like being blackout drunk but skipping the fun part. There's something else though. There's a dark undertone to it, similar to feelings I've had on dxm or mxe. I can feel some of you getting upset reading that...understand I'm not trying to say dicyclomine is as good as either of those things. It's not. It's pretty terrible actually, and it honestly worries me that for some reason I keep going back to it. Why? I guess part of the answer is it's cheap and abundant. But there's this out of body, lobotomized, weightless feeling.
Can anyone make anything out of all that? I know the overall effect of such prolonged abuse can't be good.
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![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
And yes, I came across someone who mentioned it felt lovecraftian... couldn't agree more. I feel like every drug has its own 'vibe' if you will. Music on Anticholinergics is absolutely phenomenal, which to me is due to our most important and most abundant neurotransmitter being blocked from its normal function, which slows down the brain and perception in a certain way in which it removes all of the noise and clutter.