Diazepam WD Seizures

[Allein]

I posted this over in EADD but its probably best over here so apologies for the double posting:-

Despite manging to taper off Diaz to zero and give up the booze more than 4 weeks ago, the last 2 Weeks I've slipped up ( I fekin knew I should have cleaned them all out..twat that I am).

Without the booze I've not really been getting to the place I wanted to be but they are taking the edge off my current "difficult" mental state, that said I really need to stop them quick before it gets totally out of hand.

Given the tabs are all cheap Pakistan copies dosage is going to be a bit hit and miss to quote but lets just say its escalating at an alarming rate.

Are there any warning signs that I should look for for seizures??, I've searched the net and they seem to suggest its rare but I'm sure we've have at least one person over on EADD (couldn't remember who or would have dropped a PM). Laying on the floor at work or worse at home in front of the kids in that state isn't something i want to contemplate.

I have panned a taper over about 10 days but without booze to fall back on there will have to be an element of cold turkey or I just wont get off at all, I need to clear them out of the house or resign myself to a long term habit which isn't really an option.

 

[ONandOFF777]

I have had a seizure while withdrawing from benzos (I ended up under my desk at work), and I have to say that as far as I know there were no warning signs that I can remember.

I mean I was in really bad benzo withdrawal but beyond that nothing sticks out in my mind. However the seizure seemed to cause really bad memory problems because I really didn’t even know who I or where I was for a little while post seizure.

All I can say is that if you went cold turkey and feel really bad, have someone drive you to the ER and tell them what you are going through.

 

[RobotRipping]

numbness, feeling dizzy, disassociated, electric shock like feeling going through arms/legs, extreme body pain. I've never had a grand mal seizure though but when I feel those signs I make sure to take some valium and take it easy. Even if I cut my dose too quickly I get massive withdrawal symptoms. Go very slowly if you can, if not, you'll be prone to relapse again because the withdrawals are so bad. Do you have a Dr. that can help you? Or a friend/partner that can stay with you and make sure you don't end up fishing out on the floor by yourself? The Dr's I've talked to always downplay the risk of seizure so I don't know how common they are, but it certainly happens to enough people. Don't go cold turkey or do a rapid taper, it hurts like hell. It's horrible taking it slow, I'm on 5mg of valium per day now, if I drop to 2.5 I get incredibly bad body aches, skin burning, a slimey feeling all over, shakes, tremors, nightmares, loss of feeling, hallucinations, all sorts of bad shit. I have to go back to my Dr. and convince him to let me drop 1mg per week or two weeks. I just want it to be over but my body just doesn't agree.

 

[NeighborhoodThreat]

I seriously recommend speaking to a doctor about a taper. Using alcohol for benzo WD is very very dangerous and is really only a toxic stop-gap.

 

[Allein]

^^^

You've misunderstood my situation a little probably down to my poor explanation.

About 4 months ago I started taking illicit Diaz with the intention of getting off alcohol, which i was drinking heavily everyday.

Clearly that was a stupid thing to do and with a whole load of Diaz to hand and the booze it all got out of shape, with the help of my own research reading the Heather Ashton papers and seeing a local drug and alcohol service I went on a taper for the Diaz and also set a date towards the end of the taper to stop drinking.

So I stopped the booze about 6 weeks back and was totally off the Diaz for about 3 weeks, but have no intention of going back on the booze.

Unfortunately for various reasons (mainly stupidity) I'm back on the Diaz, as I said illicit tabs so dosages are a bit irrelevant but lets just say we are well into recreational.

I can't see a doctor or drug worker or I'll loose my CBT course which starts next week and TBH I don't think they can help much as I've been here before.

Given I've only been using for about 3 weeks and clearly need to get rid of my supply to stop relapse i want to taper fast, even if its uncomfortable, I'm more concerned about seizures.

The net reveals little on the likelihood of seizures or any of the symptoms that might proceed them, I'm expecting anxiety ( I have that already!) guess I'll juts have to carry round a couple of tabs and hope for the best. My taper is based on the Heather Ashton method but just compressed into 10 days

 

[ro4eva]

I too have suffered a seizure from benzo (Xanax) withdrawal. It was one of the worst experiences I've ever had.

Like NeighborhoodThreat said, using booze for benzo withdrawal is a bad idea.

Afaik, at least here, benzodiazepine withdrawal is considered a medical emergency. I recommend you go to your nearest ER.

If seeking medical attention - for whatever reason - is not possible, you can try using Valerian and/or Kava Kava to help with the withdrawals. I've used both in the past and they help ease the WD considerably imo.

Also, if you can get your hands on some Clonidine, it also helps big time (for me it did anyway).

 

[Allein]

^^^

Thanks ro4eva, guessing you didn't read through my 2nd post, i have no intention of going back on the booze.

When you had a seizure was it from a sudden cessation of the Xanax or did you taper, I know Diaz is a little more frogiving due to the much longer half life.

Last time i was on well over 100mgs a day and came down to zero in 24 days (I'd been on it for about 8 weeks and was on over 50Mgs within a week)

 

[ro4eva]

^^^

Thanks ro4eva, guessing you didn't read through my 2nd post, i have no intention of going back on the booze.

When you had a seizure was it from a sudden cessation of the Xanax or did you taper, I know Diaz is a little more frogiving due to the much longer half life.

Last time i was on well over 100mgs a day and came down to zero in 24 days (I'd been on it for about 8 weeks and was on over 50Mgs within a week)

Sorry about not reading your 2nd post.

At the time of the seizure, I was tapering the Xanax, but much too quickly. I went from taking 1mg 3x a day to taking 0.25mg 2x a day in about 4 days. And the reason I tapered to begin with at that time, was because I wanted to avoid getting a seizure, but I had run out of Xanax at the same time. When I came to - actually my cousin happened to drop by and he heard "some weird noises" - that was me convulsing from what he told me. He busted down a door to get to me and he dragged my ass into the living room where I came to - my tongue was bleeding profusely, I had a gash on my left cheek and forehead from (apparently) banging my head against an eliptical trainer while collapsing. I also was extremely dizzy, disoriented and delirious. When the EMTs came, I was blurting out repeatedly (from what I remember) that I'm suffering from Acute Radiation Poisoning. Again, one of the most fucked up experiences ever.

 

[effie]

Benzo withdrawal can kill, atm.. not meaning to alarm you (although I appreciate saying something like that probably will!) and I really understand about wanting to start your CBT course, but be very, very careful.. some seizures have an "aura" or warning sign, sometimes a sense of deja vu or a strange smell/sound/feeling, others come out of the blue. Once you get the aura there is no going back, you're about to have a seizure.. there's no warning sign that tells you seizures are approaching, but working on an alcohol withdrawal model if you become confused, ataxic (walking and moving like you are drunk), disorientated, slurred or hallucinate get yourself to A+E ASAP.

In my opinion it is worth coming clean about this, accepting doing a slow taper under medical supervision and delaying your CBT course.. hopefully, if it's the same as here, you can delay it but not lose your place in the queue. I really do understand how desperately you need to start the CBT but as others have said, benzo WDs is a medical emergency and not something to fuck around with. I know from reading EADD how tricky things have been for you lately.. feel free to pm me if you want to chat..

There are CBT resources you can start on before you start the course, if you do go for the medically supervised taper (and I really hope you do) - a website called Mood Gym and one called Living Life to the Full (google 'em, I can't remember the exact links - will return later if I have time and include links for you ) and there's an excellent series of books called Overcoming Anxiety and Overcoming Depression (and Overcoming Anger, Low Self Esteem etc) which are CBT based, giving you the background and theory behind it and taking you through the stages like a practitioner would, including giving you the tasks to do etc that a course would also give you as homework. If you have the motivation, you could make a really good start on that.

I really do understand you are between a rock and a hard place - I've been there, under different circumstances, but still having to choose between getting medical help or saving my career/friendships/financial state - but the bottom line is you can't do CBT if you hospitalise yourself through benzo WDs...

Much love and good luck

 

[Mugz]

Given that your recent relapse has only been three weeks long and that you were off the diaz for a period of time before that, I would say that your risk of a seizure is low but the risk is still there. Not really much I can add to what effie and the other posters in this thread have said it is all sound advice.

I would say though that with only a 3 week binge with foreign pills that may not be the dosage they say they are you are less likey to have a seizure than with someone who has been prescribed diaz for years and gone cold turkey.

I know you say that you think the dosage is irrelevant because of the questionable quality of the pills, but what doses of those pills have you been taking over the last three weeks, the foreign non prescribed pills are not normally too far off in terms of dosage. Have you been back taking 100mg a day again? or just binging for 3 weeks taking between 20-50mg a day? That sort of information would definitely help judge whether or not you are at a higher risk of a seizure.

I also think that it is worth admitting your use to your GP, they shouldn't take away the CBT, I was offered CBT during my diazepam taper, they will be happy that you have admitted you have the problem and will most likely want to start you on an official taper with them, prescribed, as long as you turn in your illegit meds to them on your next visit. Is how it has worked for me in the past.

Good luck getting off the diaz again, I know it can be hard, and I know it can be alluring to go back to, but I think that you can definitely do it, as you have already proved before.

 

[effie]

Sorry if I was overdramatic in my post, Mugz is right the seizure potential isn't sky high espesh with all the dodgy fakes around, but even when the odds are in your favour if losing means seizing and risking death it makes me pretty scared..

Again, much to you atm. Remember you can pop over to the dark side if things get a bit much, although EADD is a cosy bosom of support and get involved with the social thread here too, handy for asking questions and general banter at the same time

 

[Allein]

TBH I have more friends over here if thats OK with you guys, TDS is OK but most posters are from across the pond and much is lost in translation and responses are often very slow.

Its escalated over 3 weeks from maybe week one 20-30mgs a day to week 2 50-80mgs to now about 100mgs based on the tabs I've been taking.

There is no might in loosing the CBT, they made that clear and I just can't afford to delay it any longer as I'm not on any AD meds as they can't find one that doesn't make me ill. I've struggled to get off the booze and I think thats partly why I've ended up back on the Diaz, that and last weeks family holiday, I was so anxious about having a panic attack on the plane or cracking up before we went and my relationship with my partner is hanging by a thread, if she knew I'd ended up back on the Diaz there would be blood on the walls.

I could go back to my local drug and alcohol service, but i can't see what more they are going to do than I know already.

I've planned a 10 day taper starting tomorrow and I'll just have to take the risk, it feels like the lesser of 2 evils at the moment

I came off the best part of 20 units of booze a day earlier in the year (before relapsing) cold turkey,,reckon I have tiger blood, lets hope so anyway

Thanks for the support all

 

[effie]

Best of luck to you, feel free to stay wherever you feel most welcome! Let me know how you get on

 

[Mugz]

that is some rapid escalation, but with the duration of the binge, I think the seizure risk is low, but a fast taper is definitely advised, what is the exact 10 day taper that you have planned? if you post it here it could help others in similar situations, would also allow us to comment on it and see if it could be improved.

Really hope you can kick this before it becomes an even more serious problem than a 3 week binge, as years of dependence on benzos is not the way to go and I'm sure you don't want that to happen because of this.

Is pretty much how much benzo addiction that I haven't been able to shake for the last 7 years started though, a 4 week binge similar to yours which I then never managed to recover from, but I never had the desire to recover from it at that point, and it seems that you do which is the biggest step.

I am confident you can get off the diaz in 10 days if you have a good fast taper plan. It may be a painful week or two after you are free of it but it will get better eventually, just try not to fall back into the trap of ordering a few more "just in case" as that is how I got trapped 7 years ago.

 

[Allein]

This is loosely based on my last taper, I split the doses as I work in the day and do one dose when I get home and one later:-

Number of days dose 1 dose 2
1 30 30
1 30 20
1 20 20
1 10 20
1 10 20
1 10 10
1 10 10
1 5 5
1 5 5


^^^ sorry the formattng looks fine until i post it but i think you get the idea (day 1 2 X 30MG doses etc etc)


Harsh but fair, I'm expecting some discomfort but I'm not in a good way as it is and there is a part of me that says I need to suffer a bit on this one and remember it.

Day 10 all the rest of my Diaz is dumped in a bin at least 5 miles from my house, that what I said I'd do last time, but like a twat didn't.

I have no self control which is why my dosages escalate so quickly, it was the same with stims, I'd just do them for days until they were all gone then start on the booze for the come down. but somehow I've managed to stay off the booze and I'm determined to rid myself of benzos before they take over my life.

I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with life without drugs to fall back on but then again I'm not sure how I've coped with-life over the years with the shit state I've been in at times!

 

[effie]

That's what the CBT is for - helping you cope with life. That taper sounds, as you said, harsh but fair. Perhaps tail off slightly slower at the end rather than going from 2 x 5mg for two days to nothing? Then again, I've never tapered benzos before, and you have, so I'll shut up

Again, good luck!

 

[Allein]

you may be right, I'll see how it goes I migh do a couple of days ant 5mgs but I'll have write that in today coz once I've started I'm not going to start messing with it.

Thanks again for you support, I apprecaite it if you would close the thread, I dont want a whole load of people telling me I'm doing this t0o quick and reminding me I could be risking a seizure etc etc.

I'll be sure to update you on how it goes.

 

[effie]

No problem, shall do! Keep us updated and good luck