Hey fellow bluelighters. I was a drug addict for a few years on h and uppers mainly..not alcohol ..Now I have some time of sobriety BUT since my work is really stressful and it's hard for me not to snap on random situations..mainly anger and distress due to personal circumstances , I was considering to start a light diazepam dosing in the range of 5-10 mg twice daily ..and keep it this way taking some breaks for tolerance...I also smoke weed which synergies exceptionally with diazepam ...Anyone here with experience on diazepam at work environments I would appreciate your feedback ..also I would like to know if tolerance on small doses like that Is real..thanks
I work in what seems largely like a somewhat similar customer facing role, including occasional driving.
I'm prescribed 3 times 2mg clonazepam a day.
I rarely, rarely take all 3, and if I do it's never just over the course of the day (prescribed three times a day). Depending on the work day I will generally take 3-4mg of clonazepam before and throughout the work day, and maybe half of the time I'll take another 1mg after work to help wind down mentally. Even less is taken on days that I don't work. I also take gabapentin, and play with my doses in a similar way, as well as vaporizing 2g carts every week or so.
My reasoning here is essentially just that by minimizing usage I'm keeping my tolerance lower, so that it will (and it absolutely does, from my experience) work slightly better the next time I take it.
My generalized anxiety disorder runs strong, and it takes daily benzos for me to function in this society and clonazepam and Valium are different, mostly in that the former is much stronger, has shorter metabolite half lives (although still long), and has a longer duration than Valium (sources say different things); Compared to clonazepam it's much more subtle, although in high enough doses a tiny bit sedating (for me personally, whereas no sane amount of clonazepam, sedates me.
These are my experiences with using clonazepam in a largely retail customer service based work place that specializes in a specific niche. This drug (and xanax before it, which for GAD is inferior, even the XR tablets which only last about 10-12 hours) make this kind of job (which fits me best, and as such as such I have spent the vast majority of my 20 year working experience in mostly customer service) possible for me to do, maintain, and not feel like things are falling apart.
I have an addictive personality as well and almost every day, (aside from my initial morning dose) I try to double check with myself whether I really need this drug right now and whether this dose is more than I need. If I'm not at work I can usually take off
some of the edge by using excessive cannabis and/or upping/spacing out my daily gabapentin, which is 800mg three times daily.
TLDR; Valium (and other benzos) can be used responsibly in some work settings but if you have an addictive personality any benzo script can very quickly become a double bladed sword. I highly recommend setting aside only your dose for the day, and maybe 1 additional pill in case of emergency or even if just for peace of mind, and then not touching the OG bottle for the rest of the day. Just put it out of your memory; after you set out the days dose, whatever else is in the bottle functionally shouldn't exist to you until the next morning.
Put your pills for the day in a separate bottle, and then only take from that bottle, or you may easily be starting down a SLIPPERLy road that can end in death.
Daily, or even close to daily benzo use, especially for people like us, is doable, although ideally I'd keep your usage as minimal as you can comfortably tolerate, and stick with Valium over a higher potency benzo like xanax (alprazolam) or clonazepam, as it's much easier to get off of.
I wish you luck, and if you haven't tried learning at least some basic breathing and/or meditation techniques, I would highly recommend that as well as eliminating negative self talk regarding natural ways of reducing anxiety.