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Devoid of Any Type of Relationship

Maybe you're trying to fit in with the masses when you should be trying to fit in with other people like you....even if you could get a "normal" girl to like you, would you really be happy spending your life with her? Obviously it will be harder to find people who have similar outlandish interests, but they are out there.... keep your head up man

Word. I was gonna say something like this right off the first post because that's been my experience. Don't be afraid to let your passions speak because that is what defines you. If you try to sweep who you are under the rug then of course what little is left will appear boring and hollow.

I think it's a cop out to say people persecuted you. You persecuted yourself by being so clearly ashamed of who you are.
 
picking up a girl starts when you wake up, it's a state of mind and you've pretty much resigned yourself to the fact you are going to fail. change that.
THIS !!
and also, if you are boring as fuck, just plan ahead something that you are gonna do with her..

let's say you usually bring em to a cafe... go to some rollerblade instead..

you usually go to the movies ? Go karaoke instead,etc...

Girls *LOVE* when you take them out of their confort zone...and it makes sex better!
 
I am the original loner

I am the original loner. I am 60 years old , above average iq, been married one time for only 13 years. She passed away 5 years ago. The girl I married I was friends with and knew hwe since she was 10 or I would not have dated at all. Herr brother is my best friend , or should I say actually my only friend. Even when a child I liked to work on things, make model cars, ride my bike instead of play with neighborhood children. We have no children as she could not have any. Of course I am very much heterosexual, but the problems from a relationship to me would greatly out weigh the advantages. I am a Christian and do n ot hate any one but I am not a people person. The fact is you do not have control over any one no matter what you are told . YOu cannot make any one do anything , nor should you. Machines and tools I can handle. Aas you can see by now I have always been very much set in my ways even as a child. I am just the way God made me and that is that. But... back to my brother in law, he is the only true friend I have and I am ok with that, for some one will always try to change me . That to me, shows immaturity. Shortly after my wife passed away, his wife tried to set me up with her best friend. I must say I could not stand to be in the same room with her . What is so ironic, is that I am a very generous person. I have helped my brother in law's family numerous times, especially his wife. They have also helped me. But it has gradually got to the point where all his family except him actually wants nothing to do with me. I think it is because of my antisocialism. Actually he is disabled and his wife tends to run everything. She automatically knows that doesn't work with me. So it is at the point where the whole family shuns me totally as much as I have done for them .By now you might have guessed what my occupation is. I am a truck driver of course that wqorks alone. This woman is so domineering that she trys to stop him from even going to car shows with me , and we both grew up loving the old hotrods as my name implies. And I know you have also guessed that my wife is the only woman I have ever dated period , and that is the truth. I talk to somne on the internet but most I know are fake, but so far I have not found a single woman that I would walk across my street with. I know the world looks at my antisocialism side of me but, I am true to my self which is the most important thing in life as far as I am concerned. In closing I have to add that I do believe in the signs of the zodiac. I am a virgo. I read a study one time where they proved that there were 6 days in the year that if you were born during this time period you were very antisocial and most born in this time frame never got married , Yes I was born within this 6 day period. So, I am like I am and I will be true to my self til my dying day , like me or hate me, that is me.
 
Try not to take things so seriously. I used to be like you and one day I realized that theres no point in being socially awkward etc etc. Be who you want to be. Just remember to try and be a little carefree and proud of who u are as a person. Every1 is somewhat shy etc. all humans are like 99.6 percent alike genetic wise. Use that .4 percent and do ur best with it lol.

Im 23 and used to party and have alot of friends but never dated or hooked up with girls alot because i was shy and didnt think i was attractive. It took me a long time to realize that other people liked me some didnt but w/e i'd rather be who i am than some tool.

Nowadays I mostly work and chill on the pc. and the wierd thing is Ive hooked up with alot more girls ever since then than when i was younger wierd I know.

Just realize we are who we want to be. Being truly honest with urself will help u. Girls are just as horny as us and usually much more so lol. But social views or w/e say u have to do this and that but screw it be who u want to be and be happy and realize ur just as important as that hot ass girl u work with lol. Dont be shy talk to them. I like to play video games and talk about them and the other passions in my life. A girl is gonna find someone who isnt shy of who they are alot more attractive than someone who has to hide behind a screen and play pretend.

Go out there talk to random women Sure ur gonna fail sometimes but the more u try the easier it gets and the more confidence you'll have for the next one.

I havent had ne lovin in like 3 months and it sucks but Im gonna wake up tomorrow do my thing and if i meet someone great if i dont owell theres always tomorrow.
 
I've always had horrific issues talking to women and more so initiating conversation with those of the attractive variety. What I've found to help is almost treat them (meetings/dates) like job interviews.

At first you're sitting there, shitting yourself, terrified at what the person opposite you thinks of you... But why? Fuck them, they don't know you, they're just other people with their own flaws. Yeah you may stammer and stutter at the first job interview, it might go tragically wrong but you now have that experience. So you have a second interview, you find that maybe the next one you don't stammer so much you can talk a little more freely, but you don't get the job; it wasn't the right job for you then. Now for your third interview you use the same methods as your last interview, you can talk to them and interact on a level that you couldn't before, but it's a shit job, you can tell straight away it will be soul destroying, but that's ok, you have another interview in a couple of days...
Now you've experience sitting and chatting to the last few guys, and this job is much better, it's in your field, you have skills that they are interested in and the interviewer is a sound chap/chapette who is easy to chat to and get on with. Magic, you click and land yourself an excellent job that you're happy with.
Had you gone to this interview straight away, would you still have landed it? Would they have taken you as a stammering and shy mess? The previous experience of being in a similar situation will build your confidence untill blagging an interviewer becomes second nature and you can land a shit hot job that you love.

Try get yourself out there, just talking to people will build your confidence and will give you more experience in the art of conversation :)
Go on dates with different people; who knows what will happen, even if you don't meet perspective lover right out, you will get the experience in talking to people and may even make some more friends; and them new friends might have friends who are more suited to your personality. It's all experience and making connections. Who knows where it will lead... As for the people who decide that they don't want to know you because you don't have "the chemistry" after a 20-30 min convo... Fuck them; they don't know you and they're the ones turning down the opportunity for a new friend if not a lover. Who are they do decide that a half hour interaction is enough to define you as a whole person. Are they worth giving your time to? It's their loss.

Get yourself out to more interviews. Good luck dude :)
 
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Hi hotrodtrucker, I'm sorry to hear about your wife. :( My grandparents were married for 60 years, and after my grandfather died, my grandmother was not the same and died almost 1 year later to the day.

It's amazing and sad at the same time to see people who are basically so tied that they cannot dream of being apart from one another.

Since you say you are Christian, does your church have any activities or social events you can join?
 
Maybe she was right, and you guys didn't really have chemistry, which is why you couldn't relax. It also might be your negative attitude, no offense, but a lot of people could pick up on negative vibes and might start to feel uncomfortable. It sounds like you have self-esteem issues that you would benefit from working on. You could really benefit from an attitude change though, if you go around thinking that you can't connect with anybody then you won't. Don't underestimate yourself with a self-fulfilling prophecy.
 
Like kayla said, the self-fulfilling prophecy can do a number on your psyche. I struggled with feelings of inadequacy mostly after my teenage son was having legal problems. Taking time off work for counseling, drug court and appointments. My boss was understanding for the most part and I could talk to him about anything. But one day his personal assistant just went off on me screaming out of the blue in front of all the other staff. Telling me what a piece of shit I am for not controlling my kid and I deserve to have him taken away. I did manage to shout back at her (she abandaned her young children 15 years ago and I told her what a shit parent she was) Mostly I was in shock. This is off-topic but I will explain. Bear with me, it's hard to talk about.

When I returned to work the next day, I expected some sort of apology from the bitch or support from my boss. Which I got neither. It affected me terribly and I told him I cannot work in the same capacity anymore and put me somewhere else within the shelter. He offered me a severence check and said I'm not gettng fired but it's best for me to quit. This way I can spend more time trying to sort out my family situation. So I took it but felt he would take me back like he he done with many other people. I still consider him a good friend as we have known each other since 1985 when we went to college together.

My best friend who I thought I could always count on keeps giving me the tough love speech. My son made a couple stupid mistakes with smoking weed. He's going to be away for another 6 months- court ordered rehab and he just turned 15. The few guy friends I have are mainly interested in sex and that's the last thing on my mind because I'm just too depressed. I need interaction with people desperately but just can't have people over now. I've gotten myself into a rut, digging myself deeper and can't find a way out. It's easy for people to say "get out there and meet people" but it's too hard nowadays.

I miss my friends who live at the homeless shelter. They knew my situation without judging me. They knew my son when he would do community service there. The most hardcore junkies would try to give him advice not to go down that road that led them to be homeless. I can't relate to the "straight world" anymore because I felt at the shelter, I could help people and they helped me too. I saw one of our clients panhandling outside the municipal center who remembered me and we were just talking. An office worker came storming out and told him he had to leave as "you people aren't allowed to be here" Bitching and saying she would tell the mayor, embarrassing him.
I just want some semblence of a normal life. It's been 4 months since I quit my job and I am looking but don't have proper clothes for office work (I gained too much weight-none of them fit me) Once I get back into the work force, maybe I can get back some type of normal life.

Sorry for the off-topic rant. I guess what I'm trying to say is when your self-esteem takes a nose-dive, it affects your personal and potential relationships more than you realize.
 
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