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destroying a 17 year olds head

kaosisallwesee

kaosisallwesee

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 14, 2007
Messages
796
Location
uk
:\ so iv been getting with this girl since new years eve. shes 17 and im 23, i really like her but i fear im gonna courupt her in a sence =/ i dont want anything serious and when i told her this she got all upset, i knew it would happen but i had to be mean to be nice. anyway, we keep getting drunk and having sex, am i doing the wrong thing? she knows nothings going on between us but i assume she still gonna get too attached. :\
 
If she didn't seem on board when you old her you just wanted to be friends, and you are continuing to get her drunk and sleep with her, then you are most certainly doing the wrong thing. You are leading her on. It is possible to have a healthy friends with benefits type relationship when that is the objective for both parties involved. If she has expressed that she wants more and you continue on as if your just friends sleeping together, than imo you are taking advantage of her hopes that your relationship will become more than casual sex and leading her on. This ends badly, atleast for her in every possible scenario. If you end it now you can save her, not from all, but from any more unnecessary pain and broken heart. Just my 2 cents.
 
When I was 26, I started dating an 18 yr old co-worker.........women at that age really look up to an older guy for comfort & something steady in a relationship. We just flirted the 1st two months & then started to date. We had a good 2 years together.......I love younger women & im dating one at the moment & if you're not looking for a relationship, go find one that isnt looking for one either..........

Guys & girls will always get attached to someone they are infatuated with, just the way it is........she may be attached to you now but you may get attached to a pretty girl in the future that doesnt want a relationship like you do. Works both ways & as long as your honest with the person from the beginning like it seems you are, its all good...........obviously she will get attached, its just the way human nature is & it doesnt matter how old she is, shes human.........it happens in all ages........you've done the right thing by telling her you dont want a serious relationship & if shes okay with casual sex (make sure you tell her this), then its on like donkey kong.............
 
I'm going to assume from your user name that you're not American. If you were you'd be hard pressed to find someone to say repeatedly getting a girl 4 years under the legal drinking age drunk and fucking her was a good thing to do. If you're from the UK the drinking age thing obviously isn't as big a deal, but the maturity level is still the same around the world. A 17-year-old girl is going to be a less sexually mature than a 23-year-old in most cases. She may not be able to fully appreciate what a casual relationship means yet, and more than likely she's going to get attached.

That leaves you the option of either continuing to have fun knowing that eventually it will come to a head and you're going to hurt her, or to be proactive and end things with her before she gets too attached. Telling her you don't want anything serious isn't going to do much. You can tell someone that until you're blue in the face and it won't prevent them from developing deeper feelings for you.
 
She's 17... You're getting her drunk and having sex with her over and over. You know deep down inside she's getting attached but you continue even though you don't want anything. I think you should stop now and move on.... Find someone who is on the same page as you. Doing what you're doing is wrong and I don't know what country you're in but most of the time doing this to a girl that's much younger than you is frowned upon. This response is also coming from a girl who was just seventeen back in september (now 18 obviously).
 
Yes. You are doing the wrong thing. I think you are aware of that. I hope that this thread was not created to help you find some 'yes' men; Men who will praise you for using this young thing.

:|




:)
 
Hmm, when I was 17 I was with a 36 year-old woman. Yes, there was often alcohol involved. I think there's a bit of a double standard on display in this thread. That said, I wouldn't purposely lead this girl into a lifestyle you view as harmful. I think it should be pretty intuitive at what point you're pushing things in a harmful direction. Drinking with her is one thing; using and abusing her and her youth is another. I think if you're honest with yourself, you should be able to tell which side of the fence you're on.
 
I've been seeing a 17 year old and I'm 20, she's 18 tomorrow. She's completely the opposite she just wants to be having sex now with no strings attached. So I'd say it depends on the girl, what's her personality like? Because some girls no matter how young they are can't get attached because of what's happened to them in the past or what ever, if you think it is going to end up with her attached though I would definitely talk to her about it and if you care about her getting hurt you may have to stop it.
 
first off i want everyone to know im not looking for justification, just collecting other views. and im not the one that gets her drunk to fuck her, she gets wasted and finds me =/ and if i wasnt equally as fucked up at this point id turn away. but, im sure everyone knows, thats not always how your mind works. i just wanna know if anyone has similar experiances, and how this might end. cos i see it either hurting her or hurting her more. but anyway, i havnt seen her in a few days and hopfully that will continue, as i know my action are selfish and wrong, so i think i can stay away and learn from this situation, thankyou bluelight :D
<3
 
She is already attached because of the sex. If you have a sense that it wont work due to age or you being a "bad boy" you should end it so it doesnt hurt more later. This seems very familiar to me, this happend to me when I was 18 the guy was 23. If you dont love her, hurt her a little now instead of a lot later. Women just keep getting more and more attached when sex is involved :( But your the one that makes the choice being an adult now, 19.


TX Mom-26 (still single!!!!)
 
kaosisallwesee said:
:\ so iv been getting with this girl since new years eve. shes 17 and im 23, i really like her but i fear im gonna courupt her in a sence =/ i dont want anything serious and when i told her this she got all upset, i knew it would happen but i had to be mean to be nice. anyway, we keep getting drunk and having sex, am i doing the wrong thing? she knows nothings going on between us but i assume she still gonna get too attached. :\
Click to expand...
well something IS going on between you..you're fuckin -there's a certain amount of heavy feeling attached to this at a young age - stop getting drunk with her if you don't want anything serious...get to know her.

I'm in the same situ in a way, except we got past all that shit, we never got drunk together, and I didnt lead her on - stop leading her on, be clear about what ya thinking and feeling.

your actions aren't "wrong", but they're selfish & inconsiderate, make sure you're unavailable if she's drunk - it sounds screwy!!
 
^yeah exactly. Man up and do it now if you're not that into her.

It seems you're not a dick, so you'll do the right thing I'm sure, but just think about how you would've felt when you were her age if there was someone you were shaggin and really liked, and they were not being a good gal and stepping back so as not to hurt your feelings anymore?!? it sucks.
 
When you are using someone for sex, if you have any decency this would bother you. Since you took the time to post, I have to assume you possess that human decency (unless you are looking for a "thumbs up, dude" from the other male posters). Anyhoo, shut it down. Find someone that is amenable to a FWB or NSA situation.

I like sex. I have, in the past, used people for sex (wish there was a nicer way to say it). However, both parties were at the age of consent and had a clear understanding of the situation.
 
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