It was only a matter of time before it happens. Any woman worthwhile to try to be with eventually will leave me due to drug or alcohol use. I don't blame them, because no one wants to be with a junkie.
I woke up from my hangover today feeling something bad was going to happen in the pit of my gut. There is a massive sandstorm that hit Jerusalem this morning and it looks like a post-apocalyptic wasteland here. It was a white-yellow sky and dust was everywhere coating cars. It was so humid in addition one found it exceedingly difficult to breathe. Everyone was coughing outside; myself included.
I trudged into my doctor- my urologist and he asked me about why I left the hospital against the advice of the doctor handling my hospitalization. I had gone to the hospital a month ago because my pain meds were not working; unlike in America where they are loathe to hospitalize people due to lack of health insurance, in Israel they have no issues forcing you to stay in the hospital because hea;lth insurance is universal here, and new immigrant Jews get a full package for one year.
After dozens of pethidine - phenergan injectoins and some cocktails with Tramadol and Morphine administered to me, I spent most of my time sleeping in between vaing an ultrasound on my kidney and a Renal scan where they inject radioactive dye into your blood stream to ceck for renal issues. I had suffered from severe pain for many years without knowing th4e causs and only one year ago I was properly diagnosed in the USA with a congenital obstruction in my ureter; simply put it blocks the kidney from being able to drain properly and leaves the kidney swollen due to excess urine. It is not malignant, just painful renal colic. I had pulled out my IV in the hospital and walked out because i hate pethidine and phenergan. it made me feel dizzy and sick and i slept a lot. if it had been morphine i would have stayed.
anyway, i survived on opiate use carried on from long term addiction, and in march I had 3 surgeries to repair the congenital obstruction. It was a horrifying experience. my toleranc4e was so high that I took 300 milgirammes hydrocodone after my first surgery and my second i stayed in the hospital where they injected me with hydromorphone, morphine and toradol, and they gave me opium suppositories and pills of 10mg hydrocodone for breakthrough pain.
after a couple weeks the pain all but dissapeared. I left the USA and moved to Russia to be with my future wife and start a new life in the Rodina; but as you can see from my last entries it didn't go so well there. my girl is the daughter of a powerful federal judge and due to her family hating me because I was not Muslim (her father is a Sunni Chechen, mother is a Russian), and my wife is a Sunni muslim as well. anyway, her mother told my boss to fire me or else. I even had the immigration service try to intimidate me and get me to leave but i just ignored them and signed their voluntary but unofficial per-deportation notice. it was not stamped however, so I knew it was fake. my whole life was turned upside down.
regardless, after several months there, I left to move to Israel with my wife. we ended up having visions of a an amazing future, but it quickly went downhill. My wife, being from a culture that utterly, utterly hates drugs, my purchases of OTC codeine annoyed her greatly. We began to fight more and more; culminating in eventually agreeing to let me use minor or weak opiates if i agreed to never inject and never use hard and strong opiates like heroin or morphine, so as long as I took moderate or weak opiates orally, the wife allowed this to prevent my use of heroin. It has been difficult, and many times I wanted to just go score heroin and get done with it.
The problem was that I was getting high and the days i did not, i drank at night. She hated this, and despite breaking up with me and then wanting me back several times, she could never get used to it, but one day she did and for weeks we enjoyed it and had fun and she even took some Tramadol with me.
Today however, I went into my doctor and he scripted me my percocet and my tramadol and then said he would review my hospital tests to see if they had confirmed My pain had come back and was increasing; but my wife did NOT believe it was genuine pain but a ploy to score pills. After I saw my urologist, he said he would call me after looking at my records and then decide if i needed a CT scan if my renal scan indicated issues. Regardless of my pain, my wife somehow flipped and began to hate my use again.
(continued in part 2)
I woke up from my hangover today feeling something bad was going to happen in the pit of my gut. There is a massive sandstorm that hit Jerusalem this morning and it looks like a post-apocalyptic wasteland here. It was a white-yellow sky and dust was everywhere coating cars. It was so humid in addition one found it exceedingly difficult to breathe. Everyone was coughing outside; myself included.
I trudged into my doctor- my urologist and he asked me about why I left the hospital against the advice of the doctor handling my hospitalization. I had gone to the hospital a month ago because my pain meds were not working; unlike in America where they are loathe to hospitalize people due to lack of health insurance, in Israel they have no issues forcing you to stay in the hospital because hea;lth insurance is universal here, and new immigrant Jews get a full package for one year.
After dozens of pethidine - phenergan injectoins and some cocktails with Tramadol and Morphine administered to me, I spent most of my time sleeping in between vaing an ultrasound on my kidney and a Renal scan where they inject radioactive dye into your blood stream to ceck for renal issues. I had suffered from severe pain for many years without knowing th4e causs and only one year ago I was properly diagnosed in the USA with a congenital obstruction in my ureter; simply put it blocks the kidney from being able to drain properly and leaves the kidney swollen due to excess urine. It is not malignant, just painful renal colic. I had pulled out my IV in the hospital and walked out because i hate pethidine and phenergan. it made me feel dizzy and sick and i slept a lot. if it had been morphine i would have stayed.
anyway, i survived on opiate use carried on from long term addiction, and in march I had 3 surgeries to repair the congenital obstruction. It was a horrifying experience. my toleranc4e was so high that I took 300 milgirammes hydrocodone after my first surgery and my second i stayed in the hospital where they injected me with hydromorphone, morphine and toradol, and they gave me opium suppositories and pills of 10mg hydrocodone for breakthrough pain.
after a couple weeks the pain all but dissapeared. I left the USA and moved to Russia to be with my future wife and start a new life in the Rodina; but as you can see from my last entries it didn't go so well there. my girl is the daughter of a powerful federal judge and due to her family hating me because I was not Muslim (her father is a Sunni Chechen, mother is a Russian), and my wife is a Sunni muslim as well. anyway, her mother told my boss to fire me or else. I even had the immigration service try to intimidate me and get me to leave but i just ignored them and signed their voluntary but unofficial per-deportation notice. it was not stamped however, so I knew it was fake. my whole life was turned upside down.
regardless, after several months there, I left to move to Israel with my wife. we ended up having visions of a an amazing future, but it quickly went downhill. My wife, being from a culture that utterly, utterly hates drugs, my purchases of OTC codeine annoyed her greatly. We began to fight more and more; culminating in eventually agreeing to let me use minor or weak opiates if i agreed to never inject and never use hard and strong opiates like heroin or morphine, so as long as I took moderate or weak opiates orally, the wife allowed this to prevent my use of heroin. It has been difficult, and many times I wanted to just go score heroin and get done with it.
The problem was that I was getting high and the days i did not, i drank at night. She hated this, and despite breaking up with me and then wanting me back several times, she could never get used to it, but one day she did and for weeks we enjoyed it and had fun and she even took some Tramadol with me.
Today however, I went into my doctor and he scripted me my percocet and my tramadol and then said he would review my hospital tests to see if they had confirmed My pain had come back and was increasing; but my wife did NOT believe it was genuine pain but a ploy to score pills. After I saw my urologist, he said he would call me after looking at my records and then decide if i needed a CT scan if my renal scan indicated issues. Regardless of my pain, my wife somehow flipped and began to hate my use again.
(continued in part 2)