AutoTripper
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2019
- Messages
- 10,196
Luv littal spanks
Lol you... NormiesGetting laundry started![]()
Does “and” count?Procrastination and laziness.
Either way, it's three words or fewer.Does “and” count?
I know man. Only jesting is all.Either way, it's three words or fewer.
The red face....is a joke btw lol.Two-hour anxiety attack.
The red face....is a joke btw lol.
I NEVER express my anger THAT silly immature cop-out way, IMO.
Nah I just defy laws of bans etc lol by proving our schoolground rhyme of " Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me"
Is bo-locks lol.
Words man chosen insightfully intuitively delivered with precision with prime timing
So powerful hence truer adage which also I like a lot more tbf, " The pen is mightier than the sword"
But yeah mate, I know, anxiety. I has become the story of my living experience.
Complex factors, many neurological infections since Lyme damaging NS physically, Covids actually worst of all there too honest, once NS and immune system dysregulated.
Add what 300-500 mg's LSD over 26 years, crazy q OG exstacy
Finally, mate even 25-30 mg's Bromazolam or Etizolam, like 300 mg's Diazepam
And double average kava drinker's daily
Should sleep any Elephant I figure but nah still only keeps me going spare.
So in well over 3 words lol ^ that would be MY struggle, among many additions
But @Psychlone Jack. i'm abnormal example.
Just wondering if kava would help you?
I get such anxiety admittedly from strong weed much as I love it, kava really does quench that.
Mate, my ONLY and I shudder to call it company, in life some little while now..Need some company
THREE WORDS ONLYMate, my ONLY and I shudder to call it company, in life some little while now..
Is my bless-ed 74 Yr old totally mentally/emotionally/spiritually/cognitively & nervously broken down mum.
Who for literally too the honest best purest intentions only, drives me dangerously livid!
Daily!
I have too much legit fresh major nerve damages though, nerves in a physical way are ultra sensitised.
Taking LSD like this would be murderous I'd never dare
And I'm not one to fear without a mighty cause usually.
But, being alone. Isolated. Cut-off. Alienated etc.
Deprived!!
? I used to imagine so til spectacular realisation
What a gift in disguise.
No chance in these things.
Humanity is lost, like a flock of birds can only ever see nearest 6 or 7 around and just roll with the flow.
So being outside that flock as a free conscious observer is the only objective way
Plus even I was in danger, of "picking up the accent" i.e. becoming a little like others in ways through spending enough time!
Now no matter what I can't see me making such error. My strangely forced isolation health aside because I'm in life totally v v popular naturally
Amazing gift to grow and be only me.
Hard lonely times.
But wicked people are still too hard to find and the value/reward of choosing company well right reason & time can't be overstated.
Just saying I've truly been there, am there, expect to be, lol.
Just Stay Calm !Mate, I'll be straight unlike usual...
I have "warrant" right now though I believe.
Things, have gone wrong. Massively irrecoverably so this tine but not out of blue.
Severe mounting way above managing bearing strain.
I only have not suicided so many times last 2.15 yrs only but atm today, and this week
Because I don't want to. I think it'll be nasty but living in any way being awake through no choice conscious of every pin dropping through, no choice.
Pain cannot be verbalised. X 50 more.
Most ragious caustic aggressive rows with my mum always last 6 months increasing, today is miles high record.
Seriously I just hope to die.
2023 I food fasted 50 times at least, 36-70 hours, incl loads 40-48, 50's two 70' lots 36 to 40.
And easy 24-30 hours 100 other times.
Was my only way to survive dem damn 2021 accident consequences at every expense especially my mind.
I have never been so stressed, boiling. Trapped.
My nervous system is proper flipped physically from Covids causing hyper nerve sensitisation to everything most all impossible relationship with my mum.
There is no correcting this.
Lately, fasting is impossible though. Torture not like before.
Many factors. Have lost weight. Damn cold atm. Nervous system unable to rest a bit night or day. Parasites small intestine since October.
And zero I mean ZERO interest in anything at all i mean anything at all, requiring consciousness thought feeling memory sensory perception.
On top already I've made myself too sick with extreme stress after trying to quietly suffer too much too long too much finally finally
And 100% disinterestedness in the world like people don't understand how to even relate to.
I've lost my rag.
My mum went out after too much stress, again.
I have one hope now that starving is going to be possible viable & achievable now since yesterday a specialised chiropractic treatment correction actual all round body organ system function.
I'll see. If I can suffer out time experience also really suffocating fresh acute respiratory infection, I bet Ladbrokes is notger Covid, unable to quickly cull down for 1st time ever after changing batteries in my localised Electromedicine device Thursday wire broke inside 1st time ever 8 years!
Mum relationship atrocious atm. ME or chronic fatigue add Titanic more stops me getting other town side repair shop can't afford taxi.
My chips don't exist.
Overnight & earlier living passing time was physically, and therefore mentally anyway insufferable.
I intend to hope pass today, sleep over ONE hour, never possible since curses bowel disorder from accident 2021.
Then another 24 hrs fasting won't be nearly as torture too, the load lessens.
I'm about 60-61 kg's so vs 50 in 2019, not starving but weak hungry and feel starving.
Stress is rocketing my heart. I've NO will or plan to keep life. I don't want to go via the equivalent of 1200 cups of coffee.
So at my ready point always I rack for any other stepping stone bear and pass time.
Have so far but this show's only begun really.
Feel v v sick in full adrenaline state. In real trouble this time call it.
I aren't asking for pity, support, encouragement, even empathy, no disrespect.
But this is serious and if I don't show anymore, I might be coping in a new way
Or no more. Likely not to feel like communicating expressing sharing speaking at all though if so, so you see
I say this truth above now maybe in precise and articulate ways not many would under the gravity.
You are alright !Mate, I'll be straight . .