Dermatillomania

[littlepenguin]

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/588040-Living-with-trichotillomania-my-story?highlight=trichotillomania

there's the 'mega thread' that bluelight has on trichotillomania. I posted in that thread as anonymous.

i've been suffering (and yeah, suffering doesn't even begin to describe it) from this condition for as long as i can remember. i spend anywhere from 1-6 hours daily, lost in a mindless trance, picking picking picking. my torso and upper legs, arms and some other random spots are so filled with scars/scabs/etc it is simply saddening and frankly, quite embarrassing.

trichotillomania is incredibly isolating - if i sat down and thought about it, i could say that it likely hinders a significant amount of things in my life. i hate going to the doctor...i can see the look on their face before i even get to the doctor's office - that look of horror, the double-take, triple- take, and the..."my god...." "are you being treated for this???" a few weeks ago, i had a kidney infection with a temperature of 104 degrees and i was honestly hesitating and waited a few days to go to the hospital simply because i knew i would have to take my clothes off and the doctors would see me. the fever was so bad i was delirious, it felt like i had eaten mushrooms, except i was sure i was going to die.

another great fear is worrying about what i will do when/if i stop seeing my current significant other. obviously he is used to it, knows what it is, etc. i am still a bit embarrassed about it, being naked in front of him, but i try to let it go, because luckily, i've got other things to pay attention to whilst naked with him....i digress...but i often wonder what the hell i will do, how i will find a new mate who semi understands what i am doing to myself and doesn't literally run for the door when i take my clothes off for fear of catching my leprosy.

i'm quite sure it's simply the only way that my body knows how to relieve stress. it's the only time my incessantly rambling brain slows down for a moment. it's as if i grab the tweezer or needle and the magnifying mirror and it's like walking up to a chalkboard crammed with calculus problems and grabbing a big eraser and poof - it's a blank slate.

to be honest, nothing helps [me], except being around people (simply by default; i look pretty dumb picking at myself in front of others, i still do it though without realizing it...) and sewing or beading or art.

treatment recommended by the 'pros' is CBT aka cognitive behaviour therapy. it's also used for OCD, conquering phobias, and many other mental illnesses. basically, it's learning how to change the 'tapes' that play in your head and develop new ways of thinking. also, a doctor would be likely to describe an antidepressant and or an anti anxiety med.

i can whole heartedly say 'i know how you feel.' i'm a firm believer in 'if you want it done, then do it.' if you're not willing to take the steps, or each and every possible way to cure yourself of what ails you, then get comfy with it because nobody's going to take it away for you, maybe it will just go away someday...never know.

i wish you luck in your future treatments.

check out:

www.trich.org

 

[addictivepersona]

^ I also had a bout with trichotillomania about a decade ago... Ripped out most of my eyebrows absentmindedly... In addition to other things... I still have issues with self destructive tendencies along these same channels... and that's all I'll say on that matter.

 

[mareseatoats]

I am also guilty of not leaving my face alone once in awhile-I'll always check for something to dig at, especially at night when I am home, and it is time to wind down. I haven't gone as far as causing myself much visible scarring or anything.

Now my sister, I really feel sorry for. She cannot get her nerves calm enough to stop picking her eyelashes and eyebrows all out of her face. She continually does this until there is none left. I wish I could find a non-offensive, healthy way of distracting her from doing so. Luckily we are close and comfortable enough to talk about it with each other, without her being embarrassed around me.

If anyone has any sort of success stories on ways to calm the storm of this nervous habit, please share!

 

[spork]

I do this as well. I didn't have therapy that was meant for this, but I did go though a shit load of therapy which I was able to apply to a lot of the problems that I really didn't address during therapy. Another thing that might sound silly, but seems to have helped me a lot is I just really got into painting my fingernails. Whenever I'm bored (which is usually when I'm more prone to pick at myself) I paint them. I do tend to pick at my nail polish quite a bit now, but I figure it's better than picking at scars and my skin. I think it's just the act of keeping my hands busy that helps. You could probably do the same by knitting or keeping a drawing pad around if you're an artist at all and just doodling when you feel the urge to pick.

 

[Bambooshoot]

@littlepenguin; thank you for this informative thoughtful post. It is very helpful.

@Spork; this is a really good idea. I will be trying this.

 

[addictivepersona]

I've also found in addition to distract that a product called "AfterBite" works wonders to prevent me from scratching bug bites to the point where they scab, get picked, scab, so on. "AfterBite" makes them not itch, so I can forget about them easier. Bug bites are the main source for my scratching/scab picking in the summer.

 

[Shady Kaity]

I suffer from all of those conditions and generalized anxiety. I HATE that I destroy my skin, mainly my face. Its awful and I can't help it. My bf will yell at me and swat one hand down and with out even thinking my other hand immediately flies up and gets right back too it. There doesn't even need to be anything to pick at. Ill pick at normal skin until its an open wound that becomes a scab. Idk why I do this and I've always done this ever since I can remember.
My doctor gave me hydroxzyne to try to calm my nerves I guess. But I def identify with doctors asking about all the scabs on the face then I feel so stupid explaining it to them :/

 

[ohshea]

I suffer from this whenever I do meth. It got so bad I was digging holes in my skin picking so deep in my skin it would stink. I was scarring my face, armpits and pubic region it was fucking disgusting. I threw away all my tweezers and picking tools and everytime I got urge to pick would remember how disgusting I made myself and distaff myself by going on internet doing something active

 

[Bambooshoot]

I've also found in addition to distract that a product called "AfterBite" works wonders to prevent me from scratching bug bites to the point where they scab, get picked, scab, so on. "AfterBite" makes them not itch, so I can forget about them easier. Bug bites are the main source for my scratching/scab picking in the summer.

This would of help when I was living in Greece but as I'm in Scotland we barley have a summer, never mind the bugs to go with it lol.

I suffer from all of those conditions and generalized anxiety. I HATE that I destroy my skin, mainly my face. Its awful and I can't help it. My bf will yell at me and swat one hand down and with out even thinking my other hand immediately flies up and gets right back too it. There doesn't even need to be anything to pick at. Ill pick at normal skin until its an open wound that becomes a scab. Idk why I do this and I've always done this ever since I can remember.
My doctor gave me hydroxzyne to try to calm my nerves I guess. But I def identify with doctors asking about all the scabs on the face then I feel so stupid explaining it to them :/

This is exactly what I do. if there isn't a scab, spot whatever to pick I will make find one. But as I'm a cutter it usually isn't hard. You suffer from them ALL too? Wow nice to meet you. This is very rare. Would like to talk to you more...