It's like a blanket. A warm fuzzy blanket you can wrap yourself up in and hide from the world. It's comforting and secure. It's something you know and love and are so familiar with that it's like going back to an old friend.
Sometimes I just want the world to stop. Everything moves so fast and it just doesn't give you a chance to catch up. Every single day I wake up and just wish that I could stay in bed and forget the world exists. The trouble is that I just know that the world doesn't stop. That things will move even quicker and I'll have even less of a chance to catch up if I don't deal with it. So I get out of bed.
Happiness is what everyone strives for yet it feels so hectic. It's just so hard to achieve happiness, yet it's so easy to be sad. So easy to be in a state that you understand. Maybe it's a cop out.
It bothers me I feel like this. But it's the way I've always felt. And each day just seems to reinforce it. Lack of self esteem doesn't help. I know I'm not ugly. I know I'm not stupid. I have prospects, potential, a nice place to live and good friends. But that little inner voice won't stop contradicting what my mind knows. It's always there...being negative...and I can't stop it. It affects any relationship with the opposite sex I have. Cause there's no reason for all this negativity and they don't understand.
Is this normal?? To deal with this sort of depression and self doubt every single day, but yet never have it really affect your life externally? Does anyone else go through this, and to what extent? How do you deal with it? It's not bad enough to need antidepressants (I've tried those once before) and it's not the drugs (it's just always been there).
(By the way, I'm not technically a greenlighter. I'm someone who has been a bluelighter for a while. But I just didn't want to post this under my normal name. And yes this probably belongs in Life or something but I wanted the opinion of the people here)
Sometimes I just want the world to stop. Everything moves so fast and it just doesn't give you a chance to catch up. Every single day I wake up and just wish that I could stay in bed and forget the world exists. The trouble is that I just know that the world doesn't stop. That things will move even quicker and I'll have even less of a chance to catch up if I don't deal with it. So I get out of bed.
Happiness is what everyone strives for yet it feels so hectic. It's just so hard to achieve happiness, yet it's so easy to be sad. So easy to be in a state that you understand. Maybe it's a cop out.
It bothers me I feel like this. But it's the way I've always felt. And each day just seems to reinforce it. Lack of self esteem doesn't help. I know I'm not ugly. I know I'm not stupid. I have prospects, potential, a nice place to live and good friends. But that little inner voice won't stop contradicting what my mind knows. It's always there...being negative...and I can't stop it. It affects any relationship with the opposite sex I have. Cause there's no reason for all this negativity and they don't understand.
Is this normal?? To deal with this sort of depression and self doubt every single day, but yet never have it really affect your life externally? Does anyone else go through this, and to what extent? How do you deal with it? It's not bad enough to need antidepressants (I've tried those once before) and it's not the drugs (it's just always been there).
(By the way, I'm not technically a greenlighter. I'm someone who has been a bluelighter for a while. But I just didn't want to post this under my normal name. And yes this probably belongs in Life or something but I wanted the opinion of the people here)