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Depression or mid-life crisis?

maxalfie

maxalfie

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Joined
Feb 5, 2011
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Hi I'm a heroin addict & have been for over a decade. I have decided to try and quit heroin for various reasons.
My issue is that I am now 41 recently made redundant from my job so short on cash but that's not the problem.
I have been feeling so fed up with life (not suicidal) that I hardly leave my flat unless I have to and I just sit inside all day everyday.
Lately I've been thinking of just packing a bag with some clothes and a sleeping bag and just going off somewhere to sleep rough.
I don't know whether I would do it in the countryside or city streets but I just have an urge to do it.
Like running away and leaving this life I have now behind me.
Anyone else ever felt like this before or even actually done it?
Am I just depressed or is it maybe a kind of mid life crisis?
Any help greatly appreciated
 
A mid-life crisis is definitely a possibility, but it could be both, they usually go hand in hand. If you manage to quit heroin I'm convinced you will feel so much better, especially since you will be able to do so many more things that will enable you to live life at its fullest, which could alleviate the mid-life crisis, if that's indeed what it is. If it would be possible for you to make major changes in your life (without risking your well-being too much), I say go for it. Wishing you the best of luck to quit heroin <3
 
I did that--wandered with a backpack--but it was quite a few years ago and I think the world was a friendlier place for such things (at least in amerika). I still think it is a great thing to do. Did you ever read Into The Wild? (It was also made into a very inspiring movie). It might be a good read even if you never do such a thing. Basically, it is about finding yourself outside of the definition society (and your own indoctrinated mind) hands you to play out.

Speaking as one who is starting to see 41 as young (;)), I imagine that you are indeed going through a mid-life re-evaluation. It doesn't have to be a crisis. It is a time when time starts to unfold differently. Time speeds up. What seemed forever when I was young now goes by in the blink of an eye. This is not all bad. Appreciation and gratitude begin to just happen more readily IME.

I am so happy to hear that you plan on quitting heroin. You have really, really struggled under the weight of that burden for such a long time. Part of your struggle seems to have been resignation at times. I am thankful that you are ready to be done with it.

I am also trying to plan a bit of an escape for a year from now, although mine has an end date to it because of my family. I am planning to go away to a Spanish speaking country for a year by myself and live on next to nothing (since that's all I've got LOL). I did it when I was young, but I am a little nervous about doing it as a near 60 year old woman. The way I see it is this: my world was virtually exploded when my son died. The pieces will be raining down for a long time. Some of them I may never find again. Some of them I look at and don't even want anymore. Some I need to go find. Your world has just changed significantly, too, in losing your job. That, along with moving into your forties, not to mention quitting H will throw your life in the air, too. We could just sit here and be depressed or we could embrace what is happening to us and shake things up even more. I say, go. We can send each other postcards. :)<3
 
Not sure. It could be a bit of both. Do you have any family or close relatives around?

I think it's great when people can go explore the world and other cultures. If you can do it without needing to get high then you should go for it. People have been known to see amazing things out there. If you have someone you can rely on and can trust maybe you can go and leave for a set period of time and have someone or somewhere to turn to for when you get back. While out there though you will get to know yourself better and then you will be able to know if it is a mid-life crisis or depression.

Let us know what you decide and just know that stopping heroin is a major accomplishment which is something to be very proud of.
 
The nomad aspect I would consider to be a mid-life crisis. But you could also be depressed. I would suggest that if you do feel it is possible that you are depressed, you seek treatment immediately. As you begin your journey into heroin recovery, the depression will absolutely intensify. You will be in a much better place for success if you start early in keeping your depression under control.
 
Thankyou everybody for your thoughts and advice. I do think that once I get over the heroin that I may start to feel totally different as my feelings and emotions come back to me.
I need to allow my mind time to awaken and return to normal.
 
mrflowers00 said:
i wanted to wander the earth but thats a hard life and i'd rather do things to make my life easier
Click to expand...

95% of all people who have ever walked on the face of the earth were hunters and foragers. The majority of which are not alive today, granted, but it's not impossible. :)

In anthropology class, we analyzed how people who are hunters and foragers in today's world (specifically in the Kalahari Desert in Africa) actually seem to have much better lives, less work, more leisure/activity, less incidence of diabetes/heart attack, and so on.
 
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