Mental Health Depression MEGA Thread - DepressionTalk + Over 100 Links of Info

[Legerity]

Leg I didn't know you'd started Wellbutrin as well mate, how are you finding it?
I have to say, getting this doctor I saw to actually prescribe it to me was like getting blood out of a stone!! He was some old dottery GP who clearly had NO idea what Wellbutrin even is (it's called Zyban here in Aus and it's prescribed for quitting smoking, not depression), and was trying to prescribe me another SSRI after I specficially explained to him in great detail why I will never take an SSRI ever again. Lame 8)
Oh well, I got my script in the end

Aw some doctors are a pain, that's good you were able to get it though. Yeah we have it prescribed as Zyban here too, or just as Wellbutrin. Anyways I have not felt much yet, he started me on quite a low dose for 2 weeks to make sure I tolerate it well. I just started the full dose today so I'll see how that goes. I have noticed that cigarettes are tasting worse like they're supposed to, but I don't think I'll notice any change in mood/energy/concentration until I'm on the full dose for a while. Let me know how it goes for you

 

[Dave]

^ My dad loved the stuff. Got him off cigs, and he kept taking it for about a year afterwards. He's debating going back on actually; not too sure how I feel about that, since he's only just started proper therapy for the first time in his life.

n3o-- Sort of. Mostly just identified problems and am looking at potential solutions. Some are kind of straightforward (dietary changes, exercise changes, career path changes) and some are less so (outlook changes, social skills training/practise). Basically, I need to change nearly everything about my life, as I'm nearly back to where I was before I sought therapy: isolating, moody, self-deprecating, and getting physically ill from my mental state. Doing the same thing isn't helping, so I have to do something else.

But at the same time, I'm stuck. Comfort is truly deadly, and I'm starting to see that my real nemesis in life is inertia. I've never been able to get it to work for me, and it always seems to be there to make the going harder.

 

[whoami]

I hope people are putting some effort into non-pharmaceutical treatment of their depression. I was depressed, for good reason. My mother was about to die and my daughter had moved away to college. I was not missing work or even crying a lot, I was just sad. But they gave me SSRIs, and I developed suicidal thoughts. (Back then, they denied the drugs could do that. Now it is on the label.) I knew I was not going to survive the drug, so I took myself off. Too fast, had a psychotic withdrawal. ((Back then, they denied the drugs could do that. Now it is on the label.) So I got dragged through psychotherapy, where I got given every label under the sun. The therapist decided I needed to go back and visit a sexual assault I had pretty much put out of my mind, and now I have PTSD.
I learned a new way to think about myself during that time - that I was crazy, that I should probably be dead, the shrink told me I should never have had kids... Mind you, before this, I was working in and managing medical clinics. My kids were top students, good people. Anyway, I tried to warn my siblings about the drugs, they were all on them. But of course, I was trying to warn them while I was still psychotic. Out of six siblings, one speaks to me now. None of my friends stuck around, only my husband remains of what was once a joy-filled and productive life.
To call me "depressed" is a little insulting, now. I am still alive, that is a miraculous feat, every damn day. There is a part of my brain that was poisoned, and there are physical side effects that persist, along with this new self-image. In spite of it, I get up and breathe, and try again to find healing. It is because I am an eternal optimist that I do not have lead in the head, what those drugs did to me is inhumane.
To those of you who find relief, that is nice. How long do you have to be on them? Because depression is not really a disease, it is a state. With love and support from friends and family, it is usually quite transient. What this world gave up on is loving and supporting our friends and family.
They all know my diagnosis, and they will not even call or email to ask how I am doing. I am on the internet today, trying to find a cure again, trying to find help from random strangers because they are the only folks willing to try to give a damn.
The other label I got was "anxiety attack." Hah! That is like calling the Titanic a little mishap. My "fight or flight" response got totally screwed up. If someone takes a confrontational tone with me, every chemical in my body says BEAR!!!!! RUN!!!! OR KILL IT!!!!!" and no matter how hard I try to fight that with a "rational" brain, people can sense my tension and they do not want to be around me. I understand, I don't want to be around me when I am llke that either. I just have to try to live anyway.
This time of year is bad for me, hella bad. This year is worse than I have had in a long, long time. I doubt anyone will read this, but at least it gave me something to do rather than argue with myself about what a piece of shit I am / am not. Thanks for having this here.
If by chance someone sees this, please take a look at the website ssristories.com Their existence saved my life. When my doctors, family and friends told me I was crazy, to shut up and take the pills, they were my voice in the wilderness. (Note to admin - I have NO association with that site. I "plug" it for the exact reason I stated. They saved my life. Maybe they can save another. Thanks.)

 

[Dave]

^ People here read everything man, don't ever doubt that.

I'm a huge proponent of non-pharmaceutical treatment of psychological conditions, especially depression and the anxiety spectrum. For me it was EMDR and a bit of CBT that did the trick (along with a good diet, exercise and yoga), but like many things I've forgotten that continual work needs to be done to keep things up. Just starting to put that work back in now, and am seeing the first trickles of results. Keeping the momentum up is the challenge at this point, but if I can keep noticing the little improvements I'll be in good shape soon enough.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Hi whoami, thank you so much for sharing your experinece with us. You have been through hell and it takes courage to open up about it on a public board
I have been through my own hell with SSRIs and will NEVER take them again. I accept that they help some people, but they are not suitable for everyone. I'm just glad that we now know the risks associated with SSRIs, and also that there have been advances in psychiatric pharmacology so that SSRIs are not the only option for treating clinical depression anymore.

whoami, I wish you continued success in dealing with your depression and anxiety. I hope to see you posting more


I thought I should also give an update of my own:
I am doing a LOT better now that I am back on meds!! I'm seeing a therapist once a week as well. It's primarily for my drinking, but obviously we talk about other stuff e.g. depression, family issues, etc because it's all linked. Wellbutrin, honestly, so far is the best thing that has happened to me in a LONG time. My moods are stable, and not only that but I'm feeling happy and optimistic every day. Small things don't upset me, my partner and I are fighting less. I'm drinking less, and craving alcohol less (i.e. I am having multiple alcohol-free days per week, and on the days that I do drink I'm having maybe 2-4 standard drinks, instead of 15-20!). I have the motivation to exercise almost every day. I'm no longer comfort-eating and therefore have lost a bit of the weight I gained from comfort-eating (which is very important to my self-esteem and self-image). And last but definitely not least, my libido is coming back (after SSRIs completely killed it 3 years ago).
I am very hopeful

 

[suessmayr]

n30 - that sounds awesome. I'm actually thinking about Wellbutrin myself (which I think is the same as Buproprion) - my shrink suggested that I stop the Avanza and replace it with Wellbutrin. Avanza has made me gain so much weight. Every single night I wake up at like 3am and just eat pointless shit. I'm a bit concerned about how I'll feel off the Avanza but the weight thing is for me - like it is for you - a big issue.

Does Bupropion take as long as conventional meds to work? Is it used for anxiety as well? Also, I use snus tobacco (it sits under your gum) - does it just make nicotine feel awful? I love snus and have no intention of quitting.

So glad to hear you're doing well man!

 

[Samadhi]

I thought I should also give an update of my own:
I am doing a LOT better now that I am back on meds!! I'm seeing a therapist once a week as well. It's primarily for my drinking, but obviously we talk about other stuff e.g. depression, family issues, etc because it's all linked. Wellbutrin, honestly, so far is the best thing that has happened to me in a LONG time. My moods are stable, and not only that but I'm feeling happy and optimistic every day. Small things don't upset me, my partner and I are fighting less. I'm drinking less, and craving alcohol less (i.e. I am having multiple alcohol-free days per week, and on the days that I do drink I'm having maybe 2-4 standard drinks, instead of 15-20!). I have the motivation to exercise almost every day. I'm no longer comfort-eating and therefore have lost a bit of the weight I gained from comfort-eating (which is very important to my self-esteem and self-image). And last but definitely not least, my libido is coming back (after SSRIs completely killed it 3 years ago).
I am very hopeful

Wow n30 This is fantastic!

I'm so happy you've found a medication that is working for you!

 

[Dave]

Three cheers for libido!



It's so great to hear that you're doing better n3o! That post really made my day.

 

[Ixchellian]

yup, buproprion/welbutrin works, especially for smoking cessation. In my case though, it causing me to lose weight & become jittery at night was not a good thing.

 

[paranoid android]

I'm so glad welbutrin is working for you n3o . It is the only anti-depressant that i can really take without setting off mania or getting horrible side effects from. It works well for me most of the time and the increased energy levels and increased libido are helpful side effects sometimes to say the least . I really only need it during the fall, winter and spring (the miserable weather lasts into june where i live 8( ) but I'm starting to take it early this year. It's the only anti-depressant that helps my seasonal affective disorder that can be crippling sometimes to the point where i just wanna sleep all winter and wake up in late june. I really hate the time going back because the darkness really tends to set off my bipolar depression but the bupropion helps a good bit with that as well.

Funny but you seem to have had much the same reaction to anti-depressants as i have had. I am so glad you have finally found something that works for you hun. Your way too awesome to be depressed

yup, buproprion/welbutrin works, especially for smoking cessation. In my case though, it causing me to lose weight & become jittery at night was not a good thing.

It helps me smoke less but it doesn't turn me off ciggs by any means or make ciggs taste bad like some people seem to get when taking bupropion. it makes the cravings less intense but i still smoke sadly enough. It does help though and fuck knows when it comes to quitting smoking i neeed all the help i can get

 

[soundsystem00]

Wish I would have found this thread sooner. I never thought I had depression. I am normally pretty positive and upbeat, but I have zero motivation to do ANYTHING except sleep and play on the computer. I really need to get out and work and meet people, which I do, but not as much as I should.

I have been admitted into a state funded MHMR thing, and I am seeing a doc on the 19th. I am really hoping they can help me. Personally, I think I have ADHD, but maybe they will dig deeper on the next visit. It is really a slow process and I am growing impatient.

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ Hey soundsystem, it's excellent that you've started the ball rolling to get help. You're right, it can be a really slow process and therefore can be really frustrating. But just keep with it and try to be patient. Even if/when it feels like no-one/nothing is helping and you're getting nowhere, just keep trying. There is ALWAYS a solution for everyone and every problem, sometimes it just takes a bit of time and effort to find out what it is.

Keep us updated with how you're going okay? Good luck

Does Bupropion take as long as conventional meds to work? Is it used for anxiety as well? Also, I use snus tobacco (it sits under your gum) - does it just make nicotine feel awful? I love snus and have no intention of quitting.

So glad to hear you're doing well man!

Thanks heaps mate!!
I believe it is also used to treat social anxiety, moreso than general anxiety. I can definitely say that my confidence in social situations has been more normal since being on it, but also I haven't felt any serious general anxiety either. Whether or not that is because I'm feeling less depressed, or directly because of the drug, I'm not sure.
It literally took about 6-7 days for me to feel the effects, but it can take up to 2 weeks. So in relation to other anti-depressants it works pretty quickly. And as far as I have read there is also no withdrawal syndrome when you stop taking it.
I have always enjoyed a cheeky odd menthol cigarette here and there, and always have a pack in my handbag for those moments when I feel like one (which occur like maybe once a month, maximum?). But since being on the bupropion I haven't even thought about smoking a cig once. I haven't actually tried smoking one, but this weekend is my birthday weekend so I'm sure I'll try to smoke a cig at some stage :D I'll report back

Funny but you seem to have had much the same reaction to anti-depressants as i have had. I am so glad you have finally found something that works for you hun. Your way too awesome to be depressed

Yes I have noticed that too! (about different meds having the same effect in both you and I) Bizarre
And thanks mate, you've always been so supportive when we've discussed our depression etc


And thank you too Dave and Samadhi!!

 

[suessmayr]

Well I'm starting bupropion. Because I'm on Avanza 60mg and Lexapro 25mg, my doctor said I need to stop the Avanza before I can start the bupropion. So I'm going 45mg today, 30mg tomorrow, then 15mg, nil, then starting the bupropion.

He also said it works faster than most other drugs, and that, because I'm combining it with lexapro, it would be even faster. It would be so nice if this stuff helps!

 

[n3ophy7e]

Cool man, I hope it helps you as well
One word of caution, take it early in the morning if you have trouble sleeping, as it can have a stimulant effect. If I take it any time after 11am I will have trouble sleeping that night.
Good luck, and keep us updated with how it's going

Oh and suess, I'm sure you and your psych are more than aware of this, but during the first week or so of starting bupropion, there can be a risk of increased suicidal thoughts/ideation. I would highly recommend that you think about a plan of action ahead of time, just in case. For example, for the first week I was on bupropion I made sure someone knew where I was at all times, and that I was never left alone for any extended periods of time. If you do end up having some suicidal thoughts, it might help to be aware that it's just a side effect of the medication and it won't last for very long.

 

[soundsystem00]

n3ophy7e makes me less and less depressed everday

 

[cire113]

man i tried tapering off my lexapro and stop taking it several times in the past year... and holy shit life is 2000x harder and shittier without it...


sux ;/

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ Sorry to hear you're still struggling cire. Have you spoken to a doctor about tapering off lexapro and perhaps trying something else? Are you getting any regular therapy while you've been on the lexapro? A lot of research conclusively shows that getting regular therapy/counselling plus medication is much more effective at treating depression than just medication alone. So it's worth putting the effort in to finding a good therapist and getting help that way as well

n3ophy7e makes me less and less depressed everday

Awwww Glad to help man

 

[suessmayr]

Yeah. Although to be honest I'm more nervous about how I'm going to feel coming off a maximum dose of Avanza so quickly, given that I've been on it for years. It is a really sedating drug so although it can cause lethargy and apathy and stuff like that, it is great for anxiety. But I'm just really bothered by needing to eat a second dinner every single night - it makes you SO hungry.

I suppose if I need to I can use some of the Serepax I have if I feel like I'm losing it over the next couple of weeks, although I really would prefer not to.

Also, every time I've tried to stop drinking beers at night, I get akathesia and feel all tingly and can't sleep. Now I probably won't be able to sleep at all, because Avanza is so great for getting to sleep. I asked my shrink if he would give me some sleeping tablets for this. He said no at first, because I already have Serepax and some Valium, and he said I should just use that. But it seems like massive overkill because I would be waking up essentially high and going through the entire next day with it in my system. So I'm going to see if I can give him the valium and get something short-acting just to use for sleep.

 

[n3ophy7e]

What about temazepam? Isn't that shorter-acting than valium?
The temazepam could also reduce your desire to drink alcohol at night, as well as help you sleep, which would be a bonus.

Also, I tried a couple of cigarettes on the weekend. One of them I enjoyed just as normal. Then I tried again the next night and it was pretty awful. I butted it out after about 4 drags.

 

[suessmayr]

My shrink refused to give me anything so I just went to a GP and got some temazepam. Lol GPs. Sleeping on buproprion is IMPOSSIBLE. Last night I had the maximum dose of doxylamine (50mg) plus 20mg of temazepam. I only slept from 12am-4am. Then I had to take 20mg of temazepam again to get back to sleep.

n3o - did you notice increased agitation or difficulty sleeping at the beginning? What do you think I should do with this sleep thing? Should I just suck it up and not even try to sleep, or should I keep taking benzos? It's been 2 consecutive nights using benzos and doxylamine now and it would be a tragedy if I became addicted again.