As of the past week or 2 ive been having pretty wild mood swings. I can't contribute them to any cause other then boredom so it looks like my meds arent working. I feel on the verge of frenzy sometimes for days and the only thing that really helps it is weed or opiates sometimes both ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
. The anti-psychotics only do so much. I have risperidone, olanzapine and seroquel on hand but im only supposed to be taking risperdal and zyprexa zydis for emergencies.
These manic episodes are often followed or preceded by horrible bouts of depression that last for a fair bit of time. Either that or i get mixed states which are psychological torture. So i have been getting all sorts of symptoms of bipolar lately.
I took 100mg's of seroquel today in a effort to sleep because i was so damn edgy i was about to jump out of my skin but all it did was give me a hour and a half sleep and bad restless leg syndrome when i woke up. I havent taken seroquel in ages so it should have put me to sleep longer then that. Hell i don't even feel drowsy waking up from it. I took 10mg's of zyprexa zydis today and 100mg's of seroquel so by all good right i should be knocked out for the day. But im not im not even tired or the least bit drowsy. The zyprexa does help to calm down the worst of the mania but if im really bad it takes 15-20mg's to calm me down as opposed to the 10mg's my psych tells me to take. The clonazepam helps too especially taken with zyprexa.
I have had alot of feeling of self harm during this peroid of time but i havent followed through with them thank god. Atleast not yet. I work out with weights everyday, do almost 200 stomach cruches everyday and run on the tredmill for atleast half a hour. This should tire me out but it does not do that in the least. After that i clean the house. I guess thats the positive side to all this but i feel like a tweaker without having to take any amphetamines.
My psychiatrist will be getting abit of a telling off the next time i see her. I want to give lithium a try wheather she thinks it's good for the type of bipolar i have or not. I have bipolar NOS (because i don't fit neatly into any specific DSM catagory) with some psychotic features. I don't want to try epival again (divalproex aka sodium valproate aka valproate) because it didnt help much last time and it made the depression side worse. But then again my psychiatrist at the time was a stuck up twat who didnt believe i had bipolar and ended up diagnosing me as having narcissistic personality disorder instead
.Fucking bitch that she is.
She took me off the epival and the seroquel the latter of which was atleast helping my depression and even wanted to try me on citalopram instead of bupropion which works fine for me without any side effects. She didnt care that the citalopram probably woulda drove me completely batshit manic crazy. Atleast i have a psych now that atleast believes i have bipolar disorder. Now if i could only get her to help me get my moods under control again.
Well thats life you have to live with it like it or not. I no longer really get worked up about such things that i have no control over but this can be helped and thats whats pissing me off abit.
Well thats life you have to live with it like it or not.
Manic depression is a frustrating mess
- Jimi Hendrix
. The anti-psychotics only do so much. I have risperidone, olanzapine and seroquel on hand but im only supposed to be taking risperdal and zyprexa zydis for emergencies.These manic episodes are often followed or preceded by horrible bouts of depression that last for a fair bit of time. Either that or i get mixed states which are psychological torture. So i have been getting all sorts of symptoms of bipolar lately.
I took 100mg's of seroquel today in a effort to sleep because i was so damn edgy i was about to jump out of my skin but all it did was give me a hour and a half sleep and bad restless leg syndrome when i woke up. I havent taken seroquel in ages so it should have put me to sleep longer then that. Hell i don't even feel drowsy waking up from it. I took 10mg's of zyprexa zydis today and 100mg's of seroquel so by all good right i should be knocked out for the day. But im not im not even tired or the least bit drowsy. The zyprexa does help to calm down the worst of the mania but if im really bad it takes 15-20mg's to calm me down as opposed to the 10mg's my psych tells me to take. The clonazepam helps too especially taken with zyprexa.
I have had alot of feeling of self harm during this peroid of time but i havent followed through with them thank god. Atleast not yet. I work out with weights everyday, do almost 200 stomach cruches everyday and run on the tredmill for atleast half a hour. This should tire me out but it does not do that in the least. After that i clean the house. I guess thats the positive side to all this but i feel like a tweaker without having to take any amphetamines.
My psychiatrist will be getting abit of a telling off the next time i see her. I want to give lithium a try wheather she thinks it's good for the type of bipolar i have or not. I have bipolar NOS (because i don't fit neatly into any specific DSM catagory) with some psychotic features. I don't want to try epival again (divalproex aka sodium valproate aka valproate) because it didnt help much last time and it made the depression side worse. But then again my psychiatrist at the time was a stuck up twat who didnt believe i had bipolar and ended up diagnosing me as having narcissistic personality disorder instead
.Fucking bitch that she is.She took me off the epival and the seroquel the latter of which was atleast helping my depression and even wanted to try me on citalopram instead of bupropion which works fine for me without any side effects. She didnt care that the citalopram probably woulda drove me completely batshit manic crazy. Atleast i have a psych now that atleast believes i have bipolar disorder. Now if i could only get her to help me get my moods under control again.
Well thats life you have to live with it like it or not. I no longer really get worked up about such things that i have no control over but this can be helped and thats whats pissing me off abit.
Well thats life you have to live with it like it or not.
Manic depression is a frustrating mess
- Jimi Hendrix