Mental Health Depression and crying

[Nas47]

Im not sure if this is in the right place, so mods move if its not. Im a male who lost his brother back in June. A lot of times I will go thru some dark moments of depression where everything just seems like doom and gloom
And I want to drink. Im a recovering alcoholic and I don't want to go down that path again. So I dont. I just dose kratom and have an occasional beer. I find crying helps me release that depression. I don't cry much but it seems to help me. Does anyone else find crying a release of depression and bad feelings?

If you can cry..cry.Its good to cry sometimes,cause this release the tension.I wish i could cry more often

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Im having a severe depression episode myself.

I lost my mother back on Mother's Day. Before that, I lost my oldest sister in September.

I've had depression & anxiety most of my life, but some times it gets worse than at other times.
The past year has been incredibly bad.

I can barely do anything. I have no motivation. Just writing a text back to some one or having to drive some where feels like it takes way more effort than it should.
I procrastinate on everything I do. I'm not necessarily sad all the time. But I do get very tired of feeling this way every day. Even when I do try to get up and participate in life, my entire body aches and hurts. I feel like I'm about 90 years old and I'm only in my 30's.

I've been checked out with bloodwork/catscans and soon a sleep study. But I imagine this is all my depression hitting me hard.

My doctor tried putting me on an AP called Vraylar back in a few months ago. It did something strange to me. It touched my soul in a way no other medicine ever has. In a bad way. It's very subjective and hard to describe the experience, but the side effects were too much, so I stopped it. I've had spasms in my right eyelid for 2 months now ever since.

I have used drugs, both prescribed & illicit for over 20 years, so I'm more knowledgeable about what drugs do and are gonna feel like than most doctors.
I brought up getting on a stimulant because I knew it would help. My doctor agreed but decided to put me on one that is used for narcolepsy and insurance wouldn't cover it. So I waited for 2 weeks and asked if it could be switched to a regular stimulant that doesn't require a damn sleep study and of course was told no. This really hurt me cause I've been doing everything I've been asked and my doctor knows how bad my depression is. I plan to see my mothers headstone for her birthday right after Christmas and it's gonna be really rough to do this feeling this way everyday.

I've been having moments where I burst into tears the past couple of days. And I'm a male as well. So you're not alone OP.
Depression sucks and a lot of people don't realize that it's waaay more than just "feeling sad" or being edgy. I truly feel like I've lost a part of myself after all the nasty psyche meds that have been pushed on me and stigmatization and criminalization of other drugs, which prevents me from being able to use anything to help myself feel better, unless I get it from the streets, which I choose not to do anymore.

I even made an appt with another doctor to talk to and of course the next day it was rescheduled cause he'll "be out of the office" of course. And it got rescheduled for many more weeks away.

I've been noticing that a lot too lately in my case, that doctors & nurses are never fucking around or they're on vacation all the time. I'm sure they make great money off the patients who lives are in their hands.

I wish everyone dealing with this a Merry Christmas and hopefully a much better new year. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there dealing with tough times. I think it sucks that people like myself can't get more help with what they need.

 

[xaddictx]

Im having a severe depression episode myself.

I lost my mother back on Mother's Day. Before that, I lost my oldest sister in September.

I've had depression & anxiety most of my life, but some times it gets worse than at other times.
The past year has been incredibly bad.

I can barely do anything. I have no motivation. Just writing a text back to some one or having to drive some where feels like it takes way more effort than it should.
I procrastinate on everything I do. I'm not necessarily sad all the time. But I do get very tired of feeling this way every day. Even when I do try to get up and participate in life, my entire body aches and hurts. I feel like I'm about 90 years old and I'm only in my 30's.

I've been checked out with bloodwork/catscans and soon a sleep study. But I imagine this is all my depression hitting me hard.

My doctor tried putting me on an AP called Vraylar back in a few months ago. It did something strange to me. It touched my soul in a way no other medicine ever has. In a bad way. It's very subjective and hard to describe the experience, but the side effects were too much, so I stopped it. I've had spasms in my right eyelid for 2 months now ever since.

I have used drugs, both prescribed & illicit for over 20 years, so I'm more knowledgeable about what drugs do and are gonna feel like than most doctors.
I brought up getting on a stimulant because I knew it would help. My doctor agreed but decided to put me on one that is used for narcolepsy and insurance wouldn't cover it. So I waited for 2 weeks and asked if it could be switched to a regular stimulant that doesn't require a damn sleep study and of course was told no. This really hurt me cause I've been doing everything I've been asked and my doctor knows how bad my depression is. I plan to see my mothers headstone for her birthday right after Christmas and it's gonna be really rough to do this feeling this way everyday.

I've been having moments where I burst into tears the past couple of days. And I'm a male as well. So you're not alone OP.
Depression sucks and a lot of people don't realize that it's waaay more than just "feeling sad" or being edgy. I truly feel like I've lost a part of myself after all the nasty psyche meds that have been pushed on me and stigmatization and criminalization of other drugs, which prevents me from being able to use anything to help myself feel better, unless I get it from the streets, which I choose not to do anymore.

I even made an appt with another doctor to talk to and of course the next day it was rescheduled cause he'll "be out of the office" of course. And it got rescheduled for many more weeks away.

I've been noticing that a lot too lately in my case, that doctors & nurses are never fucking around or they're on vacation all the time. I'm sure they make great money off the patients who lives are in their hands.

I wish everyone dealing with this a Merry Christmas and hopefully a much better new year. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there dealing with tough times. I think it sucks that people like myself can't get more help with what they need.

Im sorry you are going through this. I've also been in a depression, some days are worse than others. My brother suddenly passed away in June and I'm still reeling from that. It will be a bittersweet Christmas without him. We just need to be strong as they would want us to be. They are in a much better place than us now. Be well friend.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Im sorry you are going through this. I've also been in a depression, some days are worse than others. My brother suddenly passed away in June and I'm still reeling from that. It will be a bittersweet Christmas without him. We just need to be strong as they would want us to be. They are in a much better place than us now. Be well friend.

Thank you friend!

You are right. I will hang in there and try to be strong for my mom. I'm very sorry to hear about your brother. I hope they both are at very much at peace.


Does anyone else have moderate-severe body aches/pain with their depression? It truly hurts in more ways than one.

 

[xaddictx]

Thank you friend!

You are right. I will hang in there and try to be strong for my mom. I'm very sorry to hear about your brother. I hope they both are at very much at peace.


Does anyone else have moderate-severe body aches/pain with their depression? It truly hurts in more ways than one.

Not really any pain associated with depression. Just my normal chronic back pain I've had for years. Taking Gabapentin for that tho.

 

[stardust10]

I get sore. My brain as well. I can't cry atm haven't done for a few weeks and I know I need to but can't. I had a panic attack earlier and started feeling weird in my room. Felt intensely scared and paranoid. I think it might be because I haven't been able to cry and stuff.

 

[xaddictx]

I get sore. My brain as well. I can't cry atm haven't done for a few weeks and I know I need to but can't. I had a panic attack earlier and started feeling weird in my room. Felt intensely scared and paranoid. I think it might be because I haven't been able to cry and stuff.

It may be. Its pent up inside of you and your mind is reacting negatively. Its good to cry to release this. You are no weaker if you release your emotions. Its tough I know.

 

[stardust10]

It may be. Its pent up inside of you and your mind is reacting negatively. Its good to cry to release this. You are no weaker if you release your emotions. Its tough I know.

Yeah. I'm really sad and need to cry but can't seem to no matter how bad I want/need to. It's strange. Maybe part of grieving process

 

[xaddictx]

Yeah. I'm really sad and need to cry but can't seem to no matter how bad I want/need to. It's strange. Maybe part of grieving process

Im always here if you wanna talk...

 

[Jen X]

I'm a woman and probably hitting pre menopause because i'm crying most days. I really messed up my life and i can't stop thinking of all the things i could have done differently . My anti depressant seems to be working less. I sleep more, totally isolated myself. I have a few bad dates comming up and i live alone and don't know many people where i moved to. Crying helps a bit but not much. I live with guilt over my husbands passing and time do not heal all wounds. lately the thought of suicide enter my head daily and i'm starting to scare myself.

 

[Nas47]

Thank you friend!

You are right. I will hang in there and try to be strong for my mom. I'm very sorry to hear about your brother. I hope they both are at very much at peace.


Does anyone else have moderate-severe body aches/pain with their depression? It truly hurts in more ways than one.

Yes with depression comes pain in the body.When the soul suffering,the body suffer also.It will pass.Be sure.When the Bad hits me i feel that this would not end ever,despite i know that is a moment....you know in depression,in withdrawls the time stops for you.The good feeling quickly pass,the bad ones soo slowly.Its just shows how relative is time.Wish you more rapid recovery and less pain.Just stay alive...and not loose hope.Best wishes my brother.

 

[December Flower]

Crying is fucking amazing and anyone who says otherwise is too scared to try.
It helps so much, do it as much as you can.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Not really any pain associated with depression. Just my normal chronic back pain I've had for years. Taking Gabapentin for that tho.

I've read the brains of depressed people are similar to those of people in chronic pain & that depression can effect the same areas of the brain as chronic pain (which is why opiates have always seem to be the best anti-depressants for me).

I too started gabapentin months ago, thinking maybe I had fibromyalgia. My sub doc said to me "Depression literally hurts" when I approached her about it.
It feels like I've been working out really hard, every day, even though I quit working out a long time ago cause I lost the energy.

I've had depression episodes on & off my whole life. but I've never felt so achey and sore during all those other times as I do now.

The use of norco lifted me a little out of my depression a day or two ago, but of course only for about 4hrs. Now it's back to the same old.

I wish everyone the best who deals with this crap. I want to be able to feel better again some day, but this has been going on for well over a year, maybe 2 years straight (without stop). Most things that I know that will help me (at least temporarily) are usually "controlled substances". Of course. Can't have people feeling happy or euphoric, everyone must be miserable at all times. Thanks "land of the free!".

 

[PsychedelicSummer]

Crying is what we need to do in grieving. Gabapentin and kratom dulls emotions and makes crying more difficult. Low doses (not micro) of psychedelics can help in getting in contact with the pain and to cry deeply, especially when looking at photos of the person you are grieving.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Crying is what we need to do in grieving. Gabapentin and kratom dulls emotions and makes crying more difficult. Low doses (not micro) of psychedelics can help in getting in contact with the pain and to cry deeply, especially when looking at photos of the person you are grieving.

I cry on gabapentin and suboxone. Especially if I'm having a lot of pain that day when I move my body.

but...

I've been wanting to use psychedelics to get through my depressive episode but I recently moved and no longer have connects for anything. I'm envious of those who have connects for mushrooms, LSD, ketamine, etc... I haven't done mushrooms since I was a teenager, but I do remember them leaving me feeling really refreshed, clear headed and more energy for a few weeks after taking them.

If we didn't have such ridiculous arbitrary and obnoxious drug laws in the US, I'd have many more options at relieving my pain. But we can't have citizens feeling good. Everyone must be miserable at all times and are only given nasty psychiatric medicines to cause more issues for them to prescribe more shitty meds for.

The entire healthcare industry and drug war in this country is so corrupt and disgusting, it boils my blood.

 

[Snafu in the Void]

Crying is definitely a release for me. I usually feel better, a little more solid, after really crying.

However, drunk crying is not. I thought for many years it was somehow therapeutic, but it's not. I never remember what I even cried about. I never recall these memories. It's not productive like genuine sober crying is. I don't feel better afterwards, I feel even worse.

Sometimes I'll just get drunk and start writing depressing poetry and just cry the entire time.

After awhile, this simply turned into repetitive rumination and not anything healthy like a release. It was as if I was almost celebrating being sad, instead of dealing with it.

Just my personal anecdote. I've never grieved the loss of a family member. My condolences

Don't relapse thinking it's going to help you process it. That's your cunning addiction trying to trick you.

 

[Nas47]

I cry on gabapentin and suboxone. Especially if I'm having a lot of pain that day when I move my body.

but...

I've been wanting to use psychedelics to get through my depressive episode but I recently moved and no longer have connects for anything. I'm envious of those who have connects for mushrooms, LSD, ketamine, etc... I haven't done mushrooms since I was a teenager, but I do remember them leaving me feeling really refreshed, clear headed and more energy for a few weeks after taking them.

If we didn't have such ridiculous arbitrary and obnoxious drug laws in the US, I'd have many more options at relieving my pain. But we can't have citizens feeling good. Everyone must be miserable at all times and are only given nasty psychiatric medicines to cause more issues for them to prescribe more shitty meds for.

The entire healthcare industry and drug war in this country is so corrupt and disgusting, it boils my blood.

In terms of Kratom you are a lucky guys there in US.Think how bad is to be illegal-that is a lifesaviour for so many people.Be safe!

 

[xaddictx]

I cry on gabapentin and suboxone. Especially if I'm having a lot of pain that day when I move my body.

but...

I've been wanting to use psychedelics to get through my depressive episode but I recently moved and no longer have connects for anything. I'm envious of those who have connects for mushrooms, LSD, ketamine, etc... I haven't done mushrooms since I was a teenager, but I do remember them leaving me feeling really refreshed, clear headed and more energy for a few weeks after taking them.

If we didn't have such ridiculous arbitrary and obnoxious drug laws in the US, I'd have many more options at relieving my pain. But we can't have citizens feeling good. Everyone must be miserable at all times and are only given nasty psychiatric medicines to cause more issues for them to prescribe more shitty meds for.

The entire healthcare industry and drug war in this country is so corrupt and disgusting, it boils my blood.

I concur 100%. Especially the assclowns at fda. Im just glad we have a victory in defense of kratom and will continue to fight for it. What we need to fucking do is decriminalize all drugs. That would solve half of the problems in this country. But that wont fucking happen here. Like OP said, they want to shove these worthless antidepressants down our throats which do absolutely jack shit. Make opiates impossible to get so people are forced to die left and right on fentanyl. And hmmm
...our wonderful healthcare. Thats another story.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Crying is definitely a release for me. I usually feel better, a little more solid, after really crying.

However, drunk crying is not. I thought for many years it was somehow therapeutic, but it's not. I never remember what I even cried about. I never recall these memories. It's not productive like genuine sober crying is. I don't feel better afterwards, I feel even worse.

Sometimes I'll just get drunk and start writing depressing poetry and just cry the entire time.

After awhile, this simply turned into repetitive rumination and not anything healthy like a release. It was as if I was almost celebrating being sad, instead of dealing with it.

Just my personal anecdote. I've never grieved the loss of a family member. My condolences

Don't relapse thinking it's going to help you process it. That's your cunning addiction trying to trick you.

Too late for that. lol I went on several binges after my mom passed.
Did it help? Meh... It helped me stay escaped from reality for the time being.
But in the end I think only time itself will help. Everything else is a distraction until then.

I agree with the drunk crying. Alcohol use to make my depression so much worse, to the point of self harm. I'd drink and then all it would do is make me crave harder drugs and partying and when I couldn't do that, I'd just dwell on depressive things in my life, so it often lead to suicide attempts, violence, blackouts. I'm glad I stopped drinking at least. Haven't been drunk in 5 years and am glad. However, I still can't get through my day without a ton of other things. but at least those other things didn't make me as crazy and emotional as alcohol did.

I know what you mean though. For me it was alcohol + DXM + sad & dark music for a long time. Some times I'd start out peppy and wanna have a good time, but then it would go downhill the further into stupor I went.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

In terms of Kratom you are a lucky guys there in US.Think how bad is to be illegal-that is a lifesaviour for so many people.Be safe!

I agree. I'm glad for those whom kratom works for. However it's never given me the opioid effects I seek, so for some, it's nothing to write home about.
I've had better luck making poppy seed tea than I have from kratom. lol