I’ve posted a couple threads about my situation with fentanyl right now, I’m not going to go to deep into the background, but... In short, I’m trying to quit my fentanyl and oxy habit (snorting pressed fent pills and oxy 30s). I have suboxone strips and patches and occasionally find the pill form if I’m lucky. I’ve managed to quit for 3 days by using suboxone, about 3 separate times. I was so proud each time. But by the third day, my depression, it just... runs deep. Don’t know how else to put it. Things that should make me happy don’t anymore. I’m just wondering if that ever goes away. Once I pull the trigger and quit for good, will I ever be truly happy again? Or is my brain receptors just fucked for life?
I’ve been using everyday about 2 years. The first year was just eating Vicodin (30-50mg a night) then it turned into snorting and oxys (60-90 mg a night) then recently been getting the fent 30s (no idea how much I’ve been doing with those).
Someone please tell me there’s hope. Someone tell me that life will be good without pills! I just enjoy life so much more when I’m on them, as sad as it is for me to say that. But don’t get me wrong, i want to quit really really bad.
Before this, I was BAD addicted to adderall, I would take 100 mg a day just twacking out and being productive all day everyday. I never thought I’d quit addies or enjoy life without them. Then I just like lost interest... it was weird. I slowly quit taking them bexause I was ready for a slow down in life or something.
I wish the same would happen with me and pain killers. I wish I’d just lose interest but it seems that’s not going to happen and my bank account can’t wait for that either. The reasons I need to quit now are mainly financial.
Yall... I don’t really know the purpose of my post. I just needed to say this somewhere. Absolutely no one knows about my habit, except my boyfriend who’s in the same boat.
if anyone has some words of wisdom for me, words of encouragement, experiences to share for a similar situation, anything.... I’d love to read it.
I’ve been using everyday about 2 years. The first year was just eating Vicodin (30-50mg a night) then it turned into snorting and oxys (60-90 mg a night) then recently been getting the fent 30s (no idea how much I’ve been doing with those).
Someone please tell me there’s hope. Someone tell me that life will be good without pills! I just enjoy life so much more when I’m on them, as sad as it is for me to say that. But don’t get me wrong, i want to quit really really bad.
Before this, I was BAD addicted to adderall, I would take 100 mg a day just twacking out and being productive all day everyday. I never thought I’d quit addies or enjoy life without them. Then I just like lost interest... it was weird. I slowly quit taking them bexause I was ready for a slow down in life or something.
I wish the same would happen with me and pain killers. I wish I’d just lose interest but it seems that’s not going to happen and my bank account can’t wait for that either. The reasons I need to quit now are mainly financial.
Yall... I don’t really know the purpose of my post. I just needed to say this somewhere. Absolutely no one knows about my habit, except my boyfriend who’s in the same boat.
if anyone has some words of wisdom for me, words of encouragement, experiences to share for a similar situation, anything.... I’d love to read it.