Depression after getting clean

[mrsnowygrainius]

I have 2 weeks clean today. I made it through the withdrawals and feel 100% normal, i can even get a few hours of sleep at night. I was really optimistic about kicking this time but now i dont kno if i can live like this, everyy day i hate waking up and i avtualy look forward to dreaming because it is more exciting than my life.

IV heroin is my drug of choice and i been doing it for 6 years. I am depressed beyond words. I hate not being able to do dope anymore. I have hobbies, have friends, have supporyive family yet i still crave dope more than anything. Any suggestions? How can i deal with this depression better?

 

[simco]

I'm not sure I have any suggestions... but i'm in almost exactly the same boat as you: 14 days clean from heroin, and i'm so fucking depressed/pissed all the time. not sure why, but i keep thinking/hoping that the 30 day mark will give me a little relief. part of that thinking is just silly: it's a "month" so maybe things will change... not likely. but more realistically, i've been trying to quit for about 3 months now. several times i've made it *almost* one month and then relapsed. so if i can make a month clean this time, maybe i'll finally feel like i'm making progress.

again, sorry i don't have better suggestions. all i can think of are the usual things: stay busy, hang out with people who've got your back when it comes to recovery.

 

[T. Calderone]

What you are experiencing is post acute withdrawal syndrome (called PAWS) It can take some time to get through this misery. Some days you might feel ok, almost normal and suddenly you feel like shit again. What you can do is try and stay active, exercise even if it's a walk around the block. Eating healthy is a good idea but there's nothing wrong with rewarding yourself with comfort foods here and there.

Bluelight has a few threads that go into detail about PAWS you may want to search. This is a good one but we have many more:

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/495094-Opiate-PAWS-symptoms

This I found on the internet that explains it a little more:

http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

If you have cravings, I would recommend going to NA meetings. Some people are turned off by them but if you feel that you're going to relapse, give it a try. I've never regretted going to a meeting. Wish you both the best!

 

[Ignot]

I felt like this for a WHOLE year. That's right, about 12 months of sobriety, Binge watching TV series at home, Stuffing my face, and going to the gym. The exercise was the only thing that kept me sane, because In a way as long as I was not doing 45 minutes of cardio, I felt 'content'. The most depressing thing was that after 8 months I was like 'holy fuck I still feel the same mentally after being sober for so long'

I did not give my brain the few years it needed to recover. and I relapsed back into prescription drugs and alcohol a year after sobriety. good luck.

 

[simco]

@TC, thanks for the pointers to info on PAWS. I had heard of it before but hadn't read much... I thought it was more related to prolonged physical WD symptoms. Damn, the links you sent sound exactly like a day in the life of Sim. Of course it still sucks, but it's nice to hear that it's not just me. I'm by far the newest member of our local NA group and everyone looks at me blankly when I share about how shitty I feel. Obviously, kicking a heroin habit sucks. But googling PAWS and addiction turns up a lot of helpful tools/strategies for dealing with this fucked head game.

thanks again!
-Sim