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Depressed over break up

ScreamingButterfly

ScreamingButterfly

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 21, 2011
Messages
43
Location
Pennsylvania
I didn't know if this belonged in TDS or SLR. Me and my boyfriend of 7 months broke up last night. I've never been so depressed in my life. Our relationship was good at first but then he became so busy with his life that I didn't even know who he was anymore. He never made time for me anymore at the end and I got mad. I used to think he would be the one I married and we talked about a future. I just never thought we would break up and as much as I am angry and hurt by him, I still can't help but miss him. I know it's probably better that we are apart but now I just feel so alone. I miss having someone to cuddle with and talk to before I go to sleep at night. When we first broke up I felt suicidal but I somehow overcame those feelings. It just feels like life is never going to get better and the one thing I want most I don't have. I just want to find that one person out there for me. I just want to erase him from my mind and I feel like the only way I can do that is to find someone else. Sorry if I rambled it just felt good to vent. Thanks you everyone who took the time to read this.
 
Of course life is going to get better... in time. If it was how you've described, you've made the right decision, although it is unpleasant now.

I think that you'll probably get better replies in SLR, so I'll send this over.
 
Break ups can be very tough. I remember breaking up with my boyfriend of three years ... it was so scary ... I thought I'd be with him forever. It was actually mostly my decision to break up but it was still so tough, going from having a boyfriend to being single, especially when things were so comfortable.
Keep yourself busy. If you find someone else, it's okay, hang out with him. I know a lot of people say that rebound aren't the greatest but sometimes it works. Just be smart about it :). Keep yourself busy with other things though - friends, school, work, hobbies, gym, etc. Keeping busy helps keep your mind off of him and what "used to be".
Although it probably won't really help, you will find someone else, there is someone out there for you, I'm sure. Hugs!
 
I'm sorry, sweetie. Breakups suck. Doesn't matter what religion, race, gender whatever you are. Everyone agrees on that one thing: breakups suck. Unfortunately, it's part of life. I think you get more used to them as you age, because you realize that you CAN get through it and losing someone really isn't the end of the world. Your relationship should be an extension of you not the other way around. Do something for you. Make it about you. Be selfish.

I know what you mean about "erasing him from your mind." That's the hardest part. It feels like all you do is think about the breakup, the guy, the BS leading to the breakup, were you wrong or right, will he come back, were there signs, should you have done something different, etc, etc. Yup, we all go through that and it's alll you think about. It's only been a day, so you're justified in your thoughts and your feelings. Everyone needs some time to move on, but I think (for me anyway) the best way to get over someone is to do something for you to boost your own ego. It makes ya feel good and you realize that you're better off without some loser. :D
 
Yeah, its a shitty feeling when ya break up... hell, some of mine still have a bit sting 3 years later. Alas, the pain, like most pain, will fade with time. Probably faster then you think while your feeling it.

You made a decision, likely the right one. Most actions have costs and benefits. right now, you have the costs, but the benefits will outshine it.

Shoulders back, head up, walk with pride, walk with fucking hubris!
 
It can be really tough.. i know. But time really does heal all pain.

I had a girlfriend for nearly two years and she cheated on me with my roommate. After that she always tried coming back to me. But I vowed to never be with someone that would do something like that to me. So I deleted her from facebook and tried my hardest to forget about her. It took 3 months for all the pain to completely go away.. during this time I was just staying home, laying on my bed all day watching t.v. depressed over the break up. That shit really hurts. I tried my hardest not to think about her, eventually I stopped thinking about her every minute, then every hour, then every day.. now I never think of her unless prompted. I never thought I would get over it, but I did, and now I feel awesome. I've been single since with no desire for another relationship. Although, there has been a girl recently that I just find myself attracted to, and there's something about her that has me obsessing over her.. not really an obsession but you get the point. I don't put in any effort into getting close to her, well I have once or twice but have since backed off, cause honestly I'm better off alone and I'm happy this way.
 
Thank you everyone for your replies, they all helped so much. I am no longer depressed because when I sat and thought about it I realized how unhealthy the relationship was. I now know this needed to happen so the next phase of my life can start. By chance I met someone pretty awesome who asked me out on a date and I look forward to it. I need to go on with my life and enjoy it! :]
 
ScreamingButterfly said:
Thank you everyone for your replies, they all helped so much. I am no longer depressed because when I sat and thought about it I realized how unhealthy the relationship was. I now know this needed to happen so the next phase of my life can start. By chance I met someone pretty awesome who asked me out on a date and I look forward to it. I need to go on with my life and enjoy it! :]
Click to expand...

From the great woman herself:

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
― Marilyn Monroe
 
Good for you! I know the feeling of your first post. I spent a good chunk of my life in that place. It is always the smell that I miss the most when I lose a girl. I couldn't agree more with the Merilyn Monroe quote. We need our pain. It makes us who we are. We all have to go through it and learn to go forward with a spring in our step rather than dragging our feet. It is part of being a human. Things may go from bad to worse at times, but sometimes you gotta hit rock bottom before you can bounce back. I hope things go well on your date, but if not there is always tomorrow.

This is so uncharacteristically optimistic of me. Haha
 
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