Sleepyhead : there are probably very few people ( I don't know of anyone) who never feel like you're feeling right now. It's a sad part of the human experience.. it hurts, it's lonely, it makes you feel tired & hopeless. Few are exempt from these sad feelings at some time or another because they can happen for a lot of different reasons. The effects of drug dependence/addiction/withdrawal, having your heart broken by a failed relationship, the death of someone you love, the loss of a job, a debilitating illness, the list goes on and on. I've had my share of times like these ( I'm sure that at 60 yrs old I'm much older than you are

) This is what my struggles in life have taught me about finding a way to be happy:
Time is the best healer of pain & heartache
Acknowledge that the ability to overcome difficulties in life is mostly under YOUR control & very few of us don't have what it takes to overcome life's obstacles - some things don't change because it's easier for us not to try
Embrace & be grateful for all the things you are blessed with, no matter how small & insignificant they may seem to you. You can see, you can hear, you can walk, talk, eat, go to the bathroom without assistance, your mind is sharp. Like a friend of mine used to say, "You could be going through the same sh*t in life and have a gimpy leg on top of that!"
WITHOUT A DOUBT, THE ABSOLUTE BEST (and sometimes the toughest) WAY to invite healing to your mind and body is through exercise, exercise, and more exercise!! When I die & go to heaven the good Lord is gonna say, "BambooHut, you were sooo right about that exercise thing! It is one of the tools I gave my flock that only a few used and it was right there within their grasp."
And MOST importantly: "
Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can." John Wesley said this. The kindness you show to others will come back to you many times over - I promise.
Give these things a try, Sleepyhead. You won't regret it.
TripMcnealy: Keep on doing what you're doing. I'm rooting for you too. About your fiancé, none of my business of course, but have you considered giving her a chance to make it up to you?
We all make mistakes and (assuming she's in NY) long distance relationships are tough. If she asks for forgiveness and wants to work things out, consider the possibility. True confession time...Many years ago I cheated on my first husband. To this day I can't believe I would stoop so low but I did. I regretted it (still do) and begged him on my knees to forgive me. I waited a long time and did everything I could to show him that I loved him, that I wanted to keep our family together (we have 2 kids), that I would never hurt him again ... but he refused to try.
Today i'm married to the love of my life, who knew all about my past but looked past my faults and loved me anyway. We've been together for 23 years. I've never cheated on him - I learned my lesson the first time. My ex has been married 3x's, not counting me, and although i wish him the best, I doubt he's very happy with his latest wife. My kids are grown, doing well and love & respect their step dad who helped me raise them. Just goes to show, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Your girl could be your treasure if you give her a chance.