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Deleting Me Off This and That

willow11 said:
Different to what you said earlier. You want to provoke him into fighting people who rough u up in a mosh pit. Thats what happens in mosh pits. If you cant handle yourself in that context, why are you even doing it? I think you are being immature and I feel sorry for your boyfriend. Why should he hurt himself or others to prove something to you? Its an unfair and childish requirement that you have.

Don't get me wrong, it is important for me that my girl feels safe but I would be furious if she started provoking people to prove my love for her. I don't need to hurt people to do that. I won't do that.

He doesn't like moshing- big fucking deal. I don't blame him. Sorry to sound harsh but this archaic, parochial issue you have is not going to lead to happines for you both. Let him be or leave him for some burly asshole that will happily beat people up, just don't pretend those dudes do that shit for altruistic reasons.

Good luck, I hope you understand what you are being told. No malice here, buy you deserve a reality check.

All the best :)
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Well put, and I don't mean that with any malice towards the OP either, I just hope ir provokes some thought about the unrealistic expectations being placed upon the boyfriend in this case
 
If my SO is expecting me to constantly be fighting on her behalf, especially if it's over some stupid drama, and my SO is the one constantly instigating fights.....?

Am I your boyfriend, or am I your bodyguard? Certainly doesn't feel like I'm being paid emotionally or literally enough to be either.....

It's really feeling like here, it's one or the other, not both. In a serious, actual malicious situation though, of course I'd do what it takes to ameliorate the situation by force if it required it, done it before, will do it again. This goes for all women, not just my SO, if you start to abuse your female in my presence, God help you...
 
mikumiku said:
He can't go into mosh pits because he can't hurt his body.
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do you literally mean he can't? i.e. he has a condition which would result in a serious problem if he got hurt? or do you mean he would just prefer to not get hurt?

either way, i agree with the general consensus that you're too immature and selfish to have a healthy relationship.

alasdair
 
Mosh pits aren't for everybody. If he hates them, don't try to manipulate him into it. Also, if you can't handle yourself in a most pit, they aren't for you either. Your bf isn't going to have a good time if he has to stop moshing and get somebody to leave you alone every 15 seconds.

Going to a mosh pit with you and walking you home at night in a high crime neighborhood are two differnet things. A gentleman won't necessarily go into a mosh pit with you, but he will walk you home
 
it seems like you want a bit more of a traditional guy. if I saw my lady get thrown in some Yung Axl's punk rock pit I'd help her up... rule #1 you always help out the fallen in the pit, and truth be told I would at least look the other way at the offending party...

nothing wrong with a woman wanting this in a man, no matter how much the average BLer will say there is something wrong with wanting it

find another guy
 
I want my guy to be able to have fun with me at shows, I use to run around in the pit with my boyfriends of my past, we had a lot of fun. Even at this one show, this one guy did hurt me and my boyfriend at the time, told him something. I thought that was romantic.
 
When it comes down to it, my Boyfriend has told me, if he wanted to break up with me, he would, but he hasn't. He knows he's being treated by me, thats why he rather just put up with it and put up a wall, reflecting what I say by ignoring me, and say that he does care and love me, and will put up with me and my ways, by ignoring me and still staying in the relationship.
 
Jesus Christ how is this thread still going on?

In all non-judgemental honesty, OP, have you been evaluated to see if you fall on the autism spectrum?
 
axl blaze said:
it seems like you want a bit more of a traditional guy. if I saw my lady get thrown in some Yung Axl's punk rock pit I'd help her up... rule #1 you always help out the fallen in the pit, and truth be told I would at least look the other way at the offending party...

nothing wrong with a woman wanting this in a man, no matter how much the average BLer will say there is something wrong with wanting it

find another guy
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Theres notning wrong with wanting a traditional guy, no. I like to have my seat pulled out, door opened, feel protected etc. But something like hating mosh pits is just a personal preference and that should be respected also rather than being taken personally as In he doesn't want to protect her. If he's not protective/traditional in other ways that you need then maybe it's not the right relationship and maybe the OP should find someone else. But not because he doesn't like moshing, plenty of people don't and that's ok too.
 
mikumiku said:
I want my guy to be able to have fun with me at shows, I use to run around in the pit with my boyfriends of my past, we had a lot of fun. Even at this one show, this one guy did hurt me and my boyfriend at the time, told him something. I thought that was romantic.
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But if he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it and you should also respect that. It's ok to like different things. As long as there are plenty of Other things you enjoy together and you both fulfill each other's needs, small differences like that should be ok. If there are other issues then maybe move on.
 
axl blaze said:
it seems like you want a bit more of a traditional guy. if I saw my lady get thrown in some Yung Axl's punk rock pit I'd help her up... rule #1 you always help out the fallen in the pit, and truth be told I would at least look the other way at the offending party...

nothing wrong with a woman wanting this in a man, no matter how much the average BLer will say there is something wrong with wanting it

find another guy
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Protecting your girlfriend doesn't need to involve following her around like a puppy dog into situations that you do not like, and I don't see a "traditional guy" doing that either.

This weekend just gone, I was waiting in line at McDonald's after a psytrance event for my big mac meal and my apple pie. There were three drunken fools behind me playing up. For some reason, one of these geniuses had the bright idea to remove his belt and hit me across the backside with it quite hard. I turned around and immediately glanced over at the table my boyfriend was sitting at, hoping he did not see it...but he wasn't at the table. Before I knew it, my boyfriend had relieved this man of his belt, folded it in half, and smacked him across the face with it. He then unfolded the belt, held it in his hand, and very calmly informed the man that hit me that he is now to apologise to me, or the next whack would be with the buckle. The man apologised, I told him that he is forgiven, and my boyfriend then advised them that they should now wait outside the store for us to leave so I can wait for my food without feeling threatened. The three of them did as asked...they didn't ask for the belt back either.

My boyfriend did not need to hit that man to protect me, he simply could have came over and made sure I was okay, and removed me from a dangerous situation. You can defend and protect your partner without violence in most cases, but sometimes, boys will be boys and such.

My point was however that my boyfriend certainly protects me when it is necessary. My boyfriend also does not like mosh pits and would not enter one with me. An injury would impact his work and I would understand that he wouldn't want to take this risk. If I went around claiming that he is any less of a man, protector, or boyfriend for this, he'd tell me to go fly a fucking kite. I respect my boyfriend's personal choices and freedom, and if I don't, he has enough self-respect to tell me to go eat a dick. OP's boyfriend has given valid reasons for not wanting to enter a mosh pit, but his girlfriend is unable to respect that. Instead, she decides that this is a flaw in his character and he is not manly enough to be her "protector." This is an unreasonable, selfish and immature reaction in my opinion.
 
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I want my Boyfriend to do what your Boyfriend did for you, if I got hurt in a pit is all. That sounded very romantic and protective of you and thats what I want my Boyfriend to do for me.
 
it sounds more like you want to get hurt in the pit so that your guy defends you to fulfill some weird fantasy of yours
 
mikumiku said:
I want my guy to be able to have fun with me at shows, I use to run around in the pit with my boyfriends of my past, we had a lot of fun. Even at this one show, this one guy did hurt me and my boyfriend at the time, told him something. I thought that was romantic.
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You could always take him to shows with better music than ones with mosh pits
 
mikumiku said:
I want my Boyfriend to do what your Boyfriend did for you, if I got hurt in a pit is all. That sounded very romantic and protective of you and thats what I want my Boyfriend to do for me.
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it very much sounds like you don't want to be with your boyfriend - you wan to be with some unrealistic, idealised version of your boyfriend?

maybe you should dump him and try to get with somebody else? mel22's boyfriend, perhaps?

:\

alasdair
 
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