WUMPA-WUNKA-WUMPA-WUNKA
I wake up to the sound of what I know right away is the front door being pushed, kicked from the outside and swinging in, the doorknob slamming against the inner wall and swinging back towards the frame, only to be pushed again and again and again by whoever finds this amusing enough to stand there and not lose interest. I hope for a few seconds that I wasn't startled from my slumber enough to not fall right back into it so I try, eyes still closed, pillow over the head now, blanket up over the pillow, and upon realizing the futility of my efforts start saying things to myself like "fuck" and "cocksucker" and "goddamn prick" as I sit straight up on the worn out hard wood floor where I sleep, have been sleeping, and open my eyes to let them burn a little by the light of the morning coming in through the uncovered windows. I can feel a small amount of cold air coming from the fireplace beside me and I look around the bare, furniture-less room and wonder how I got to where I am, certain I made a point to fall asleep away from the draft and I wonder how I knew enough to do that or if I even did.
With the WUMPA-WUNKA-WUMPA-WUNKA not letting up I get frustrated at my inability to focus on anything other than the noise I hear so rising, pushing myself up off the floor and nearly slipping on the slickness of it, my thin, dirty socks not offering much traction, I start yelling things like "Cut it out!" and "Fucking asshole!" and "Piece of shit!", making my way across the what used to be a living room and the sea of cigarette butts and soda bottle ashtrays, empty can's of High Life and Natty Ice littering the floor.
Coming around the corner of the hallway to where the front door will be in full view, the WUMPA-WUNKA-WUMPA-WUNKA still going full blast I give one good, loud "ALLL RIIIIIIGHT!!!" and stomping around I see the front door with one final WUMPA swinging open, towards me, the WUNKA as the doorknob slams into the inner wall again and then a CA-CHUNK as it's own momentum swings it back shut and locks it in place slamming into the frame, nobody standing on the other side.
I open the door, a decent hole now in the wall where the door knob was WUNKA-ing and stand, looking around for somebody fleeing the scene, a car driving away, but nothing. I call out phrases like "Hey, what the fuck?" and "Fucking chicken-shit pussy" and "I saw your face, you know" though I didn't, and I think they know that, too. I notice the markings of a dirty footprint all over the outside of the door and look out into the street, down the sidewalk, at the neighbors bushes one last time before giving up and going back inside, shutting the door behind me and locking it. I wonder things to myself like "What the hell just happened?" and "What am I doing here?" and turning to the right to inspect the level of damage the doorknob inflicted on the wall there is nothing, not a scratch, and I put my hand where the hole was before and it's solid and smooth. I look around to the other spots on the wall, other walls, and I open the door to see where the doorknob would connect and it's there, on the clean, flat wall where I first thought it was and I look at the door, the outside of it, where the footprints were stomped all over and it's clean.
I wake up to the sound of what I know right away is the front door being pushed, kicked from the outside and swinging in, the doorknob slamming against the inner wall and swinging back towards the frame, only to be pushed again and again and again by whoever finds this amusing enough to stand there and not lose interest. I hope for a few seconds that I wasn't startled from my slumber enough to not fall right back into it so I try, eyes still closed, pillow over the head now, blanket up over the pillow, and upon realizing the futility of my efforts start saying things to myself like "fuck" and "cocksucker" and "goddamn prick" as I sit straight up on the worn out hard wood floor where I sleep, have been sleeping, and open my eyes to let them burn a little by the light of the morning coming in through the uncovered windows. I can feel a small amount of cold air coming from the fireplace beside me and I look around the bare, furniture-less room and wonder how I got to where I am, certain I made a point to fall asleep away from the draft and I wonder how I knew enough to do that or if I even did.
With the WUMPA-WUNKA-WUMPA-WUNKA not letting up I get frustrated at my inability to focus on anything other than the noise I hear so rising, pushing myself up off the floor and nearly slipping on the slickness of it, my thin, dirty socks not offering much traction, I start yelling things like "Cut it out!" and "Fucking asshole!" and "Piece of shit!", making my way across the what used to be a living room and the sea of cigarette butts and soda bottle ashtrays, empty can's of High Life and Natty Ice littering the floor.
Coming around the corner of the hallway to where the front door will be in full view, the WUMPA-WUNKA-WUMPA-WUNKA still going full blast I give one good, loud "ALLL RIIIIIIGHT!!!" and stomping around I see the front door with one final WUMPA swinging open, towards me, the WUNKA as the doorknob slams into the inner wall again and then a CA-CHUNK as it's own momentum swings it back shut and locks it in place slamming into the frame, nobody standing on the other side.
I open the door, a decent hole now in the wall where the door knob was WUNKA-ing and stand, looking around for somebody fleeing the scene, a car driving away, but nothing. I call out phrases like "Hey, what the fuck?" and "Fucking chicken-shit pussy" and "I saw your face, you know" though I didn't, and I think they know that, too. I notice the markings of a dirty footprint all over the outside of the door and look out into the street, down the sidewalk, at the neighbors bushes one last time before giving up and going back inside, shutting the door behind me and locking it. I wonder things to myself like "What the hell just happened?" and "What am I doing here?" and turning to the right to inspect the level of damage the doorknob inflicted on the wall there is nothing, not a scratch, and I put my hand where the hole was before and it's solid and smooth. I look around to the other spots on the wall, other walls, and I open the door to see where the doorknob would connect and it's there, on the clean, flat wall where I first thought it was and I look at the door, the outside of it, where the footprints were stomped all over and it's clean.