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Define "alcoholic"...
- Thread starter Joey24x18
- Start date
Good Afternoon OP -
Fortunately you are young so your body is still very resilient. Addiction is insidious, I know, have struggled with addiction to one thing or another for over a decade, though alcohol nearly destroyed my life. I was finally able to stop drinking. It wasn't easy nor did it happen quickly as I relapsed several times before finally getting sober. My advice to you would be to discuss this problem with your doctor, and try to get into a rehab program (inpatient, outpatient, there are several options) as more often then not there is a mental health piece that goes along with addiction, that needs to be addressed. Alcohol withdrawal can be lethal, so it's certainly nothing to play around with.
If seeing a doctor about this problem isn't an option and you choose to do this on your own, I would recommend purchasing some quality vitamin B 12 supplements, along with a multivitamin, as drinking really depletes resources your body needs. If you are not suffering from tremors and haven't had any siezures, I would not take any benzos as they are essentially alcohol in a pill form, and highly addictive in and of themselves, and the withdrawal from them is excruciating. I also recommend getting some melatonin as it will help with sleep. If you're prone to anxiety, see your doctor and get a script for propranolol - it's a beta blocker used for blood pressure but it significantly reduces anxiety, and it's not mind altering or addictive. I also recommend getting the naltrexone shot - I got it once monthy for my first year sober and only literally had two cravings my first year sober. If you can't get the shot then get the pill, however, it's much easier to cheat on the pill lol.
The aforementioned will help with the physical aspect of withdrawal. If you truly want to get healthy you also have to address the emotional/mental piece that is driving you to use. I recommend seeing a psychologist first, and exploring options with group therapy, and also seeing if there is an underlying mental health issue. I say see a psychologist first as they will listen to your situation and come up with treatment options where as a psychiatrist will make a hasty determination about your mental health and just prescribe medication, which may or may not be effective and could potentially make your situation worse. If you see the psychologist first, they can help determine with you have a mental health issue and then see the psychiatrist. Psych meds are pretty hardcore - many are addictive, and many have strong systemic effects so you want to try to get the medication right as soon as possible and I have found in my experience that psychiatrist will just do trial and error in prescribing meds that may make the situation worse. It's hell coming on and off those types of meds.
Lastly, here are some tips that helped me get closer to inner peace while on this journey. If you have cravings, eat something sweet. The first month after I quit alcohol I would have six candy bars in the evening around the time I would normally start drinking. Not certain why this helps, but I suspect it has to do with spiking my sugar levels. Change your routine as much as you can. Stop hanging out with your using buddies. Find a group of peers who are also in your situation who have a goal of getting sober. It's very comforting to have people to talk to who understand - and it helps ease the guilt one carries about their use history. Whenever you start feeling stress or anxiety, take a step back and a acknowledge the anxiety, recognize that the feeling is temporary, and try to define what specially is causing the anxiety. If it's too much, remove yourself from the situation if possible. Focus on your breathing (I recommend looking up breathing techniques). Get yourself on a regular schedule with sleeping - go to be early at the same time every night, and wake up at the same time in the morning. Engage yourself in healthy activities that do not involve alcohol. For instance I ballroom dance and golf. It helps to pass time, I enjoy it, I get to socialize with normal healthy people and it occupies my thoughts so I am not obsessing about life problems or drinking.
The first three months are the hardest - but it does get better. You have to take life on life's terms.
I have so much more to say but this post is already ridiculous long lol. I wish you the best in your journey!
Elizabeth
Fortunately you are young so your body is still very resilient. Addiction is insidious, I know, have struggled with addiction to one thing or another for over a decade, though alcohol nearly destroyed my life. I was finally able to stop drinking. It wasn't easy nor did it happen quickly as I relapsed several times before finally getting sober. My advice to you would be to discuss this problem with your doctor, and try to get into a rehab program (inpatient, outpatient, there are several options) as more often then not there is a mental health piece that goes along with addiction, that needs to be addressed. Alcohol withdrawal can be lethal, so it's certainly nothing to play around with.
If seeing a doctor about this problem isn't an option and you choose to do this on your own, I would recommend purchasing some quality vitamin B 12 supplements, along with a multivitamin, as drinking really depletes resources your body needs. If you are not suffering from tremors and haven't had any siezures, I would not take any benzos as they are essentially alcohol in a pill form, and highly addictive in and of themselves, and the withdrawal from them is excruciating. I also recommend getting some melatonin as it will help with sleep. If you're prone to anxiety, see your doctor and get a script for propranolol - it's a beta blocker used for blood pressure but it significantly reduces anxiety, and it's not mind altering or addictive. I also recommend getting the naltrexone shot - I got it once monthy for my first year sober and only literally had two cravings my first year sober. If you can't get the shot then get the pill, however, it's much easier to cheat on the pill lol.
The aforementioned will help with the physical aspect of withdrawal. If you truly want to get healthy you also have to address the emotional/mental piece that is driving you to use. I recommend seeing a psychologist first, and exploring options with group therapy, and also seeing if there is an underlying mental health issue. I say see a psychologist first as they will listen to your situation and come up with treatment options where as a psychiatrist will make a hasty determination about your mental health and just prescribe medication, which may or may not be effective and could potentially make your situation worse. If you see the psychologist first, they can help determine with you have a mental health issue and then see the psychiatrist. Psych meds are pretty hardcore - many are addictive, and many have strong systemic effects so you want to try to get the medication right as soon as possible and I have found in my experience that psychiatrist will just do trial and error in prescribing meds that may make the situation worse. It's hell coming on and off those types of meds.
Lastly, here are some tips that helped me get closer to inner peace while on this journey. If you have cravings, eat something sweet. The first month after I quit alcohol I would have six candy bars in the evening around the time I would normally start drinking. Not certain why this helps, but I suspect it has to do with spiking my sugar levels. Change your routine as much as you can. Stop hanging out with your using buddies. Find a group of peers who are also in your situation who have a goal of getting sober. It's very comforting to have people to talk to who understand - and it helps ease the guilt one carries about their use history. Whenever you start feeling stress or anxiety, take a step back and a acknowledge the anxiety, recognize that the feeling is temporary, and try to define what specially is causing the anxiety. If it's too much, remove yourself from the situation if possible. Focus on your breathing (I recommend looking up breathing techniques). Get yourself on a regular schedule with sleeping - go to be early at the same time every night, and wake up at the same time in the morning. Engage yourself in healthy activities that do not involve alcohol. For instance I ballroom dance and golf. It helps to pass time, I enjoy it, I get to socialize with normal healthy people and it occupies my thoughts so I am not obsessing about life problems or drinking.
The first three months are the hardest - but it does get better. You have to take life on life's terms.
I have so much more to say but this post is already ridiculous long lol. I wish you the best in your journey!
Elizabeth
Erikmen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- May 3, 2014
- Messages
- 20,707
^ Great post!
I can relate to your feelings. The family rejection on your 'abuse'. The difficulty in stopping etc. But I do believe an appropriate doctor could help you a lot.
There are medicines that you can take that can help you through the process. By going to a doctor you are also showing interest in solving your issues. It's difficult to carry everything on our back, we often need assistance.
Suggest you don't discard medical support as this could be seen as a message to your parents that you are not giving up. Give it a try.
I can relate to your feelings. The family rejection on your 'abuse'. The difficulty in stopping etc. But I do believe an appropriate doctor could help you a lot.
There are medicines that you can take that can help you through the process. By going to a doctor you are also showing interest in solving your issues. It's difficult to carry everything on our back, we often need assistance.
Suggest you don't discard medical support as this could be seen as a message to your parents that you are not giving up. Give it a try.
Last edited:
SluttyPeach
Bluelighter
Alcoholism comes in many forms, and you do not have to be physically dependent to meet the criteria for it. You seem to have a binge drinking problem, that's how it started for me. Within a few years I was drinking about the amount you do which has damaged my liver, and I'm only 24. Not much older than you so please take that into consideration.
I've learned to control my drinking but it can be hard. So what I do is only buy a six pack of beer or a pint of liquor at a time, cause if I buy a half gallon of whiskey that shits history. You will have to stay away from friends for awhile if they also drink to excess. And you don't wanna have to withdraw from alcohol, it's brutal. Best of luck.
I've learned to control my drinking but it can be hard. So what I do is only buy a six pack of beer or a pint of liquor at a time, cause if I buy a half gallon of whiskey that shits history. You will have to stay away from friends for awhile if they also drink to excess. And you don't wanna have to withdraw from alcohol, it's brutal. Best of luck.
mostly-human
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2005
- Messages
- 1,055
First, regarding the 'define alcoholic' subject - I think the literal definition makes most regular drinkers 'alcoholics', in my mind - the real line between drinking too much, and being an actual alcoholic is morning (and to a less extent, day) drinking.. Even when i am drinking quit a lot (say a third to a half of a bottle of whisky each night), so long as I don't start drinking each day until after work / after 6pm - then I'm not too concerned with it, I think when you start drinking when you wake up and continue drinking until you fall asleep, then repeat.. That said - heavy drinking every single night still takes its toll on how you feel during the day, not too mention - it can still cause serious liver damage.
Anyway - regarding tips for quitting / tapering / cutting back. On one hand, I'm a current heroin addict, so maybe my advice isn't great, on the other hand - I've quit many other addictions; meth, weed, gambling (all these things I've quit for 5 years or more). And I've also quit cigarettes, heroin, alcohol each for various amounts of time, including a good 18 month hiatus from everything, so I guess I've had some experience here and there with putting a stop to an addiction (not taking it up again is just as hard, if not harder).
Anyway - I'll just offer a couple pieces of practical advice that have served me well on occasion:
Asking for help / confessing; I've found that living a double life and digging a huge hole by lying to everyone you know, especially your parents, family, loved ones and close friends - does the most damage. Sometimes it's easy to fall into a trap of thinking you don't want to damage your relationships and/or let down the people who care about you (perhaps they think you've been doing better and you don't want them to think otherwise), perhaps you find it humiliating, or whatever - the reality is, addicts often lie about their addictions, for various reasons. Sometimes the lie is outright - we completely deny it, our family, friends etc may not even know anything, we may have kept it all utterly secret - in which case, they know something is up, but they don't really know what, they just know things aren't going well for you.. Then there's the lie about how far into it you are, perhaps your friends/family were aware of an issue 12 months ago, when you went to rehab or something, but they think you've been doing well ever since, but in reality, you've fallen back just as hard as you were ever into it to begin with, and you don't want them to think otherwise.
Anyway.. you get the point.. addicts lie and maintaining the lie makes it very difficult to quit the addiction, because you're the only one who knows about it. So, one really effective method is to tell everyone that you can (within reason; don't tell your boss if it will get you fired; and in some cases, telling your family may not be a realistic option - some peoples families may literally disown them). But tell everyone you can - just be brutally honest about your life and ask for help, where appropriate. Then - importantly, keep people informed. It's no good telling everyone, getting clean for a week or so, then picking up the habit again, but falling back into the lies. It will be really hard, this bit. because if you tell everyone, ask for help, get help, get clean, then fall right back into the shit again, you'll feel like a real fucking loser - like you've let people down and it may be really humiliating, but - nevertheless, let everyone know where you're at; how it's going.
People WILL get sick of your shit, something you'll find is that people actively DON'T want to know how bad things are, they don't want your problem to be their problem, people are happy to listen to your bullshit lies and pretend to believe them, convince themselves of them, because it's easier than dealing with an addicts shit. By telling people the truth, you inevitably suck them into your shit. To begin with, people may even help you out financially - bail you out of debts, buy you food, etc. But - by the 10th time you fuck up and they start to learn that DESPITE ALL THE HELP they've given you, you still keep throwing it in their face by continuing to fuck up.. this shit starts to grate, people will stop offering you financial aid.. that's ok though. Once you start drawing in all the people you care about, into your world, you will after a while, finding it much harder to keep being an addict - basically - you'll want to either go back to lying about your addiction, or stop being an addict, because continually hurting people you care about, by constantly fucking up, really does fuck with your head.
The other thing, and this is quit a practical thing; try and limit your access to money.In the past, particularly as a gambling addict, I've had both my mum, as well as my girlfriend on other occasions, take complete control of my bank account(s) and cards, I'll have no direct access to my own money. One thing you may want to do for convenience is when you get paid, by a gift-card for a grocery store, that way, if you bust all your money, you'll still have money for food (and smokes if you smoke). This can be a huge help.. Similarly - purchase gift cards for anything else you may need money for down the track, at a point where you'd usually have blown it all on your addiction.
Anyway.. honesty.. that's what I've found helps the most.. makes things real.
Also - you're still really fucking young. I know that list you put forth of shit you've done, been addicted too, etc probably seems really huge to you now.. And, in a way it is, you're definitely heading down a dark path, no doubt. But honestly - you've still only just started to scratch the surface of where addiction can take you. You're basically just at the tail end of the 'heavy' experimental phase. You can still turn shit around and have your whole life ahead of you. If you fix shit now, then you've lost nothing. You're practically still a kid / teenager. So, you haven't done any permanent damage to your body and you can still recover fully psychologically too.. Once you get hooked on something for 10+ years, then it's a whole other story, even if you quit, you'll probably never truly get it you of your mind. But you, you can quit now and in a few years, it will just be a distant memory of some stupid shit you done as a kid.
Anyway - regarding tips for quitting / tapering / cutting back. On one hand, I'm a current heroin addict, so maybe my advice isn't great, on the other hand - I've quit many other addictions; meth, weed, gambling (all these things I've quit for 5 years or more). And I've also quit cigarettes, heroin, alcohol each for various amounts of time, including a good 18 month hiatus from everything, so I guess I've had some experience here and there with putting a stop to an addiction (not taking it up again is just as hard, if not harder).
Anyway - I'll just offer a couple pieces of practical advice that have served me well on occasion:
Asking for help / confessing; I've found that living a double life and digging a huge hole by lying to everyone you know, especially your parents, family, loved ones and close friends - does the most damage. Sometimes it's easy to fall into a trap of thinking you don't want to damage your relationships and/or let down the people who care about you (perhaps they think you've been doing better and you don't want them to think otherwise), perhaps you find it humiliating, or whatever - the reality is, addicts often lie about their addictions, for various reasons. Sometimes the lie is outright - we completely deny it, our family, friends etc may not even know anything, we may have kept it all utterly secret - in which case, they know something is up, but they don't really know what, they just know things aren't going well for you.. Then there's the lie about how far into it you are, perhaps your friends/family were aware of an issue 12 months ago, when you went to rehab or something, but they think you've been doing well ever since, but in reality, you've fallen back just as hard as you were ever into it to begin with, and you don't want them to think otherwise.
Anyway.. you get the point.. addicts lie and maintaining the lie makes it very difficult to quit the addiction, because you're the only one who knows about it. So, one really effective method is to tell everyone that you can (within reason; don't tell your boss if it will get you fired; and in some cases, telling your family may not be a realistic option - some peoples families may literally disown them). But tell everyone you can - just be brutally honest about your life and ask for help, where appropriate. Then - importantly, keep people informed. It's no good telling everyone, getting clean for a week or so, then picking up the habit again, but falling back into the lies. It will be really hard, this bit. because if you tell everyone, ask for help, get help, get clean, then fall right back into the shit again, you'll feel like a real fucking loser - like you've let people down and it may be really humiliating, but - nevertheless, let everyone know where you're at; how it's going.
People WILL get sick of your shit, something you'll find is that people actively DON'T want to know how bad things are, they don't want your problem to be their problem, people are happy to listen to your bullshit lies and pretend to believe them, convince themselves of them, because it's easier than dealing with an addicts shit. By telling people the truth, you inevitably suck them into your shit. To begin with, people may even help you out financially - bail you out of debts, buy you food, etc. But - by the 10th time you fuck up and they start to learn that DESPITE ALL THE HELP they've given you, you still keep throwing it in their face by continuing to fuck up.. this shit starts to grate, people will stop offering you financial aid.. that's ok though. Once you start drawing in all the people you care about, into your world, you will after a while, finding it much harder to keep being an addict - basically - you'll want to either go back to lying about your addiction, or stop being an addict, because continually hurting people you care about, by constantly fucking up, really does fuck with your head.
The other thing, and this is quit a practical thing; try and limit your access to money.In the past, particularly as a gambling addict, I've had both my mum, as well as my girlfriend on other occasions, take complete control of my bank account(s) and cards, I'll have no direct access to my own money. One thing you may want to do for convenience is when you get paid, by a gift-card for a grocery store, that way, if you bust all your money, you'll still have money for food (and smokes if you smoke). This can be a huge help.. Similarly - purchase gift cards for anything else you may need money for down the track, at a point where you'd usually have blown it all on your addiction.
Anyway.. honesty.. that's what I've found helps the most.. makes things real.
Also - you're still really fucking young. I know that list you put forth of shit you've done, been addicted too, etc probably seems really huge to you now.. And, in a way it is, you're definitely heading down a dark path, no doubt. But honestly - you've still only just started to scratch the surface of where addiction can take you. You're basically just at the tail end of the 'heavy' experimental phase. You can still turn shit around and have your whole life ahead of you. If you fix shit now, then you've lost nothing. You're practically still a kid / teenager. So, you haven't done any permanent damage to your body and you can still recover fully psychologically too.. Once you get hooked on something for 10+ years, then it's a whole other story, even if you quit, you'll probably never truly get it you of your mind. But you, you can quit now and in a few years, it will just be a distant memory of some stupid shit you done as a kid.
SluttyPeach
Bluelighter
Mostly human has given you great advice OP, if you truly want to quit then you can do it. But being a college aged addict can be a clusterfuck because all your friends want to party and shit all the time, they can usually keep their drinking/drugging to party time but you can't, you'll wake up the next morning and buy more shit to drink/use. So you'll have to decide whether you want to party or stay clean. And it sucks because you may begin to feel isolated but fitting in isn't really important, life is not a popularity contest.
You can find other friends who are more straight and still have a fulfilling social life. Do you drink alone a lot? That's a bad sign, I hope you don't because it can contribute to feelings of isolation and self loathing. I know from experience, and have found some friends who are a better influence and don't pressure me to drink when I don't want to open that can of worms.
I don't mean to sound condescending at all, because I see myself in you and really it breaks my heart. Alcohol truly is the most damaging drug in every way possible. The doctor told me if I didn't stop drinking like I did, I wouldn't live past my early 30's. I am female which makes a difference in how damaging alcohol is to my body but it can happen to anyone. As for the drugs, that will also contribute to fucking your liver. Not to mention the emotional stress your behavior will put on the ones who care about you the most.
You probably know all this stuff already but you are not alone, and there is hope. AA isn't for everyone but it's at least worth a shot if you stick with it for a bit. It wasn't for me so I decided to just suck it up and detox, then move away from my drinking/drug buddies. I feel like a person again for the first time in forever although I still use shit, but I'm not as bad as before.
I want you to know that even though you're a stranger on the Internet, your problem genuinely concerns me. Hopefully you can nip it in the bud though. Much love and good vibes
You can find other friends who are more straight and still have a fulfilling social life. Do you drink alone a lot? That's a bad sign, I hope you don't because it can contribute to feelings of isolation and self loathing. I know from experience, and have found some friends who are a better influence and don't pressure me to drink when I don't want to open that can of worms.
I don't mean to sound condescending at all, because I see myself in you and really it breaks my heart. Alcohol truly is the most damaging drug in every way possible. The doctor told me if I didn't stop drinking like I did, I wouldn't live past my early 30's. I am female which makes a difference in how damaging alcohol is to my body but it can happen to anyone. As for the drugs, that will also contribute to fucking your liver. Not to mention the emotional stress your behavior will put on the ones who care about you the most.
You probably know all this stuff already but you are not alone, and there is hope. AA isn't for everyone but it's at least worth a shot if you stick with it for a bit. It wasn't for me so I decided to just suck it up and detox, then move away from my drinking/drug buddies. I feel like a person again for the first time in forever although I still use shit, but I'm not as bad as before.
I want you to know that even though you're a stranger on the Internet, your problem genuinely concerns me. Hopefully you can nip it in the bud though. Much love and good vibes
bukweat
Bluelighter
It sounds to me that you've answered your own question. Any activity that takes me away from when ,where, and why I want to drink helps(triggers is the $10,00word for that). Also the more time I can put between drinking jags helps enormously. I find that if I really try I can go incrementally longer each time. Yes it's a battle,but I've found it to be worth the fight.
P.o.T.u.S
Bluelighter
Its only gonna get worse if u don't stop now and learn to control it because it will always be around..I don't drink anymore and I used to drink just like u with a few friends just in the woods or in our cars if a party wasn't going on...but u have to look inside u a find out what you are escaping from in your daily life that u need alcohol to cover up and work on that problem with healthier habits..alcohol will tear your body up faster than a lot of hard drugs
FnX
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2009
- Messages
- 749
How I define an alcoholic, well, when you put alcohol ahead your own health/family/friends/work/study/finances and just go fuck it, I need this drink. When you have more spice than food on your plate so to speak. There are plenty of heavy drinkers out there, but that's what truly constitutes an alcoholic in my mind. My own mother is one.