Deep Water.
7/26/04
It drags me down,
it pushes me around
but I won't submit.
I cannot surrender, but
in the struggle I drown.
My limbs move in
slow motion, as if in a dream,
and I try to talk and nothing comes out,
but there's so much to bleed.
Would you just cut me again?
Don't just whip and bruise my skin.
I need another wound like a water spout.
There's got to be another way
to let this all flow out.
I feel I hold so much
and I just cannot let go.
I feel I'm so much more
than I could ever know.
And this just drags me down
and you just push me around
but I refuse to submit
and in the struggle I drown.
This water that surrounds
is always within me
but now I take in more
and there's no room to breath.
I feel so heavy and I think I'm sinking
it's getting darker, my fate is this gravity.
I wonder if there is a bottom
and what I'll be when I get there.
I wonder if the water has skin
and what I'd see if I emerged.
I saw the sun reflected in her eyes,
I felt that sky in my dreams.
There's a vague recollection of solid ground
but the sensation has escaped me.
I cry for a direction
but my tears cannot be seen
and I want to let it flow
but I just can't bleed.
Something's approaching now.
I cannot make out it's form.
It stirs ancient memories,
things I left for dead and burned.
And I cannot seem to run away,
but I just fucking hate this place
and as it comes closer I loose
all I thought I could hold at bay.
And I just cannot scream,
and so it drags me down.
I try like hell to scream
but it just pushes me around.
And I just want to bleed,
but I cannot surrender
and in the struggle I drown
perhaps there my truths are found:
in the struggle where I drown
where there's no up from down.
7/26/04
It drags me down,
it pushes me around
but I won't submit.
I cannot surrender, but
in the struggle I drown.
My limbs move in
slow motion, as if in a dream,
and I try to talk and nothing comes out,
but there's so much to bleed.
Would you just cut me again?
Don't just whip and bruise my skin.
I need another wound like a water spout.
There's got to be another way
to let this all flow out.
I feel I hold so much
and I just cannot let go.
I feel I'm so much more
than I could ever know.
And this just drags me down
and you just push me around
but I refuse to submit
and in the struggle I drown.
This water that surrounds
is always within me
but now I take in more
and there's no room to breath.
I feel so heavy and I think I'm sinking
it's getting darker, my fate is this gravity.
I wonder if there is a bottom
and what I'll be when I get there.
I wonder if the water has skin
and what I'd see if I emerged.
I saw the sun reflected in her eyes,
I felt that sky in my dreams.
There's a vague recollection of solid ground
but the sensation has escaped me.
I cry for a direction
but my tears cannot be seen
and I want to let it flow
but I just can't bleed.
Something's approaching now.
I cannot make out it's form.
It stirs ancient memories,
things I left for dead and burned.
And I cannot seem to run away,
but I just fucking hate this place
and as it comes closer I loose
all I thought I could hold at bay.
And I just cannot scream,
and so it drags me down.
I try like hell to scream
but it just pushes me around.
And I just want to bleed,
but I cannot surrender
and in the struggle I drown
perhaps there my truths are found:
in the struggle where I drown
where there's no up from down.
