I just had a very deep talk with my neighbor (who, I might add, also cleans my house several times a week, for $, and will be watching my house while I'm away all summer)
We talked deeply about several things, including past/present usage (usage of what?? i'm on bluelight, guess what! lol), and family, and many other things.
I've known her for over 9 months now. She told me that when she first met me she thought I was a bit "prissy and uptight", which, I love. I try very hard to conceal the "real me" (re: anything not 100% socially the norm) from everyone. That made me happy. I'm doing a good job! lol
I feel very close to her. I'm so happy that we have so much in common. I can be honest with her. There are so few people, other than those on BL, who I can be honest with, and not have the fear of betrayel. I have felt very close to her for some time, so its not something new. But it was a much deeper experience tonight, and we talked about so much, even dark, serious stuff, mostly about her family/my paternal family.
I am happy about this. I feel even more free than I did in the past. This is the one time that I'm opening up with someone I haven't known since early childhood (other than family/husband and his family, and here on BL) that I know won't/can't betray me. (I also have too much on her, which I would never/ could never use. No matter what state of mind. Too personal, even if she betrayed me..)
I feel so good about this. I'm almost sad that I'll be leaving for the summer in a few days, but her hubby will be home by then. And I'll be back home before her husband deploys, so we can be there for each other.
Deep talks are so cleansing for the soul. For mine, at least. Talking with like-minded people, esp people associated with the military, is so fucking rare, it doesn't happen (unless they're gossiping bitches, trying to hurt you in the long run)
I feel cleansed. Its so nice to be open. I love it. I love being the true me, its hard to do these days, especially with kids and a family to think of. I deeply appreciate this day.
Time to get off here.
I have to say, I love blogging here, and being me. I just hope it won't kick me in the ass someday (Dave... if you read this... god I hope you're not in law enforcement, even though you're a chemist... lol)
I love being me. Being true to myself. That is so important to me. I've been betrayed too many times.
Take care all... time to read a few more threads, then head to bed.
I
BL, I don't know what I'd do without you. I only have just over 200 posts, but I'm a longtime member. I just can't stand the fear of being rejected/criticized, so don't post very much. But I read, and learn, constantly. That has to count for something.
We talked deeply about several things, including past/present usage (usage of what?? i'm on bluelight, guess what! lol), and family, and many other things.
I've known her for over 9 months now. She told me that when she first met me she thought I was a bit "prissy and uptight", which, I love. I try very hard to conceal the "real me" (re: anything not 100% socially the norm) from everyone. That made me happy. I'm doing a good job! lol
I feel very close to her. I'm so happy that we have so much in common. I can be honest with her. There are so few people, other than those on BL, who I can be honest with, and not have the fear of betrayel. I have felt very close to her for some time, so its not something new. But it was a much deeper experience tonight, and we talked about so much, even dark, serious stuff, mostly about her family/my paternal family.
I am happy about this. I feel even more free than I did in the past. This is the one time that I'm opening up with someone I haven't known since early childhood (other than family/husband and his family, and here on BL) that I know won't/can't betray me. (I also have too much on her, which I would never/ could never use. No matter what state of mind. Too personal, even if she betrayed me..)
I feel so good about this. I'm almost sad that I'll be leaving for the summer in a few days, but her hubby will be home by then. And I'll be back home before her husband deploys, so we can be there for each other.
Deep talks are so cleansing for the soul. For mine, at least. Talking with like-minded people, esp people associated with the military, is so fucking rare, it doesn't happen (unless they're gossiping bitches, trying to hurt you in the long run)
I feel cleansed. Its so nice to be open. I love it. I love being the true me, its hard to do these days, especially with kids and a family to think of. I deeply appreciate this day.
Time to get off here.
I have to say, I love blogging here, and being me. I just hope it won't kick me in the ass someday (Dave... if you read this... god I hope you're not in law enforcement, even though you're a chemist... lol)
I love being me. Being true to myself. That is so important to me. I've been betrayed too many times.
Take care all... time to read a few more threads, then head to bed.
I
BL, I don't know what I'd do without you. I only have just over 200 posts, but I'm a longtime member. I just can't stand the fear of being rejected/criticized, so don't post very much. But I read, and learn, constantly. That has to count for something.
.
