Inso
Bluelighter
Hi all, long time no visit.
So I'm currently on a lot of medication for a chronic pain problem, for which I'm having surgery soon to (hopefully) correct the problem. Hence I'll soon be approaching the task of reducing/removing these meds. Chief on the list is Buprenorphine patches - I began at a medium dose of 15mcg/hour each week.
I reduced this to 10 a month ago and Jesus Christ the anxiety and bad thoughts has been almost overwhelming at times, only just starting to go completely now. As such this is going to VERY hard to give up altogether by myself. The 'come up' buzz I experience the day they kick in is just lovely and for the next the few days I am mildly, but noticeably, walking on air. This is the one that's supposed to be less addictive!
I am quickly a hopeless addict with any mood lifting substance I've tried, from caffeine to cocaine. For example, at 19, I took ecstacy four more times, twice by myself (?!), in the week after I discovered it. If I do coke even once nowadays it's all I think about for a week. I think it's in the genes, mum's mum was a severe alcoholic, died when I was a kid. Her brother had heavy drug habits too, also died relatively young. Thankfully my mum has sworn off all intoxicants her whole life due to what she saw as a kid. I had a mostly respectable upbringing as a result, can't really blame that.
I'm going to need extra support, perhaps a lower level opioid to bridge the gap, I'm not entirely sure yet. I should never have been on this shit in the first place if I'd been diagnosed properly, ffs.
How do I tell my doctor I'm very much addicted and need help? Are they likely be supportive? And also what help could be available? I honestly feel a little pathetic given that it's just a prescribed, sensible dose. I also think I need therapy to see why I have such a ridiculous propensity for addictive behaviour.
Wow, this turned into a a bit of an opening up length of post. Thanks for reading if you got this far!
So I'm currently on a lot of medication for a chronic pain problem, for which I'm having surgery soon to (hopefully) correct the problem. Hence I'll soon be approaching the task of reducing/removing these meds. Chief on the list is Buprenorphine patches - I began at a medium dose of 15mcg/hour each week.
I reduced this to 10 a month ago and Jesus Christ the anxiety and bad thoughts has been almost overwhelming at times, only just starting to go completely now. As such this is going to VERY hard to give up altogether by myself. The 'come up' buzz I experience the day they kick in is just lovely and for the next the few days I am mildly, but noticeably, walking on air. This is the one that's supposed to be less addictive!
I am quickly a hopeless addict with any mood lifting substance I've tried, from caffeine to cocaine. For example, at 19, I took ecstacy four more times, twice by myself (?!), in the week after I discovered it. If I do coke even once nowadays it's all I think about for a week. I think it's in the genes, mum's mum was a severe alcoholic, died when I was a kid. Her brother had heavy drug habits too, also died relatively young. Thankfully my mum has sworn off all intoxicants her whole life due to what she saw as a kid. I had a mostly respectable upbringing as a result, can't really blame that.
I'm going to need extra support, perhaps a lower level opioid to bridge the gap, I'm not entirely sure yet. I should never have been on this shit in the first place if I'd been diagnosed properly, ffs.
How do I tell my doctor I'm very much addicted and need help? Are they likely be supportive? And also what help could be available? I honestly feel a little pathetic given that it's just a prescribed, sensible dose. I also think I need therapy to see why I have such a ridiculous propensity for addictive behaviour.
Wow, this turned into a a bit of an opening up length of post. Thanks for reading if you got this far!
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