I am a walking bad decision I throw away oppertunitys like I got alot of them my parents are not rich but ave spent all there recources to put me up nice paying for college a car food gas ect. My mom gives me xanax to try and keep me off dope she payed for rehabs and detoxs therapists suboxone holymen whatever I said would make me better. But I know the truth I love heroin as Lou said "its my wife and its my life" and nothing is taking it away from me. I havent been a daily user in a year I havent been a weekly user in 6 months I havent used in 2 months but I am tommorow. See I made this deal wth myself I realized that in order to get the heroin I want I need money which means college I gave it a fair shake I didnt look for opiates at school I smoked weed and tried to be normal it was a show but I am a decent actor.
I know I am one fuck up away from losing it all see I dont have much I own nothing I have nothing but oppertunity but oppertunity is an easy thing to lose all it takes is one arrest one misplaced rig and there is no taking it back. But I dont care I need it like I need oxygen like food im starving you see starving for a rush one itch come on just one scratch I deserve it right? I have been so good everyones so proud but I am not proud I know the truth I dont wanna be well I like the disease it suites me I hate myself so why shouldnt I be hated. I see these people and I wonder what they would do if they knew what I knew knowing that heaven is only 20 dollars and a phone call away shit I know what I will do.
I know I am one fuck up away from losing it all see I dont have much I own nothing I have nothing but oppertunity but oppertunity is an easy thing to lose all it takes is one arrest one misplaced rig and there is no taking it back. But I dont care I need it like I need oxygen like food im starving you see starving for a rush one itch come on just one scratch I deserve it right? I have been so good everyones so proud but I am not proud I know the truth I dont wanna be well I like the disease it suites me I hate myself so why shouldnt I be hated. I see these people and I wonder what they would do if they knew what I knew knowing that heaven is only 20 dollars and a phone call away shit I know what I will do.
