Ugh. Minor rant, so sorry if i'm stepping on peoples vibes. I just had to cancel a rtn trip to Melbourne there because I fucked up my benzo taper. Was supposed to be leaving 1st December, 13 days time 30+ weather, christmas with old friends on the beach, mate even said I could crash at his and he had a 91 Toyota I could use. I also had made a few inroads into approaching companies re another sponsorship (I was sponsored before on a business visa 157 4 years doing a real handy job for too much money).
But at the CEO's party I was ambushed by a completely free bar, got in a row over a deal - not blowing my trumpet, well maybe I am, because I feel I've precious little to be proud of). But I was top sales bum. 1st 1st 1st 2nd 3rd . It was really a combination of accent, speedy maths, sycophancy and hunger. There's a saying in sales that your only as good as your last sale - I'd like to add a cravat to that, your only as good as the last time you got paralytic drunk, called your line manager a cunt and had a good old drunken wrestle inside the CEO'S $4m home.
So Monday, clear out my desk, visa tied to the job so 90 days to impress a company enough to spend around $12k. So I seen a few sites got in a few fights and landed wretched way way from all my mates over there. Meanwhile people are settling down, and I'm getting older and I've got a job that pays a 1/3rd and is much much more stressful and long. Long days - 8am - 6pm, often later, often expected to front exhibitions, receiving - seriously £15 for a £9300 sale. Driving around 120 miles a day. Playing sales and customer service - and everything on metrics
So when the shit hits the fan, what does the mind of the addict do? (I am an addict - I don't judge anyone else) Increase the speed of the fan and the frequency of the shit. Benzo's, linctus, shit why pay £2 a modafinil when half a kilo can be legally imported for considerably less. And this is where online RC stores have a lot to answer for - you want 25 - there's 34. You want well 250 2mg etizolam well have an extra 125 on us. And you think this is great.
But your still dry at the end of the month. Waking with a Mexican wrestler squatting on your solar-plexus, making demands, demands so intense you sleep with the baggy under your pillow, knowing 4mg of eitz will keep him occupied till brunch, then dinner, then a double dose for supper because you know he's saddling kilo's through the AM.
Your slow, missing appointments, blackberry bleeps disappointment. the finally your brick of Modafinil turns up - Pow, no more late starts, in fact the odd sleepless night allows you imagination to run riot and when that wrestler climbs the ropes ready to smash your solar plexus, you've ow got the drop on him - 6am dosing. Thatcher ran the country (into the ground) on 5 hrs sleep, surely you can medicate your way on 4hrs, traversing the provence, surveying farms beyond the reach of any GPS - this routine doesn't sit right, the 2 highly potent drugs battle hard for your receptors. You can be motoring along on modafinil. Excel charts pop out like doves from a black tie magician - Initial out lay, graduated 25 year cell efficiency, adjusted against interest rates, re-adjusted against energy inflation - the from the peripheral your asked do you take tea or coffee - and you don't fucking know, you have to take one, you always take one, but its a blind bend. the afternoons 14 mg of etizolam cannot compute - you want out - you want a plane ticket. Confidence that most Quixotic, is making a break for the door. sliding of the laptop, stealing the bright hues of the brochure's and the 11yr old's interest. This is a £26k pitch here. Only a corp marshall's authority and integrity allow for a narrative structure and no it must flow flawlessly as if choreographed by Ana Pavlova herself - and you'e changed your mind about tea or coffee twice.
It's gone, get out, the mexicans wrestlers are on the horizon and in greater numbers. A floundering appeal on behalf of the 40 miles before the tactical withdrawal, 16% per annum Mr Random Cunt, no other government backed scheme comes close, nice residual income stream. And all this is true - manufacturer's cost of equipment is £9,000 Wholesaler £14,000 Retail £26,000
But at the CEO's party I was ambushed by a completely free bar, got in a row over a deal - not blowing my trumpet, well maybe I am, because I feel I've precious little to be proud of). But I was top sales bum. 1st 1st 1st 2nd 3rd . It was really a combination of accent, speedy maths, sycophancy and hunger. There's a saying in sales that your only as good as your last sale - I'd like to add a cravat to that, your only as good as the last time you got paralytic drunk, called your line manager a cunt and had a good old drunken wrestle inside the CEO'S $4m home.
So Monday, clear out my desk, visa tied to the job so 90 days to impress a company enough to spend around $12k. So I seen a few sites got in a few fights and landed wretched way way from all my mates over there. Meanwhile people are settling down, and I'm getting older and I've got a job that pays a 1/3rd and is much much more stressful and long. Long days - 8am - 6pm, often later, often expected to front exhibitions, receiving - seriously £15 for a £9300 sale. Driving around 120 miles a day. Playing sales and customer service - and everything on metrics
So when the shit hits the fan, what does the mind of the addict do? (I am an addict - I don't judge anyone else) Increase the speed of the fan and the frequency of the shit. Benzo's, linctus, shit why pay £2 a modafinil when half a kilo can be legally imported for considerably less. And this is where online RC stores have a lot to answer for - you want 25 - there's 34. You want well 250 2mg etizolam well have an extra 125 on us. And you think this is great.
But your still dry at the end of the month. Waking with a Mexican wrestler squatting on your solar-plexus, making demands, demands so intense you sleep with the baggy under your pillow, knowing 4mg of eitz will keep him occupied till brunch, then dinner, then a double dose for supper because you know he's saddling kilo's through the AM.
Your slow, missing appointments, blackberry bleeps disappointment. the finally your brick of Modafinil turns up - Pow, no more late starts, in fact the odd sleepless night allows you imagination to run riot and when that wrestler climbs the ropes ready to smash your solar plexus, you've ow got the drop on him - 6am dosing. Thatcher ran the country (into the ground) on 5 hrs sleep, surely you can medicate your way on 4hrs, traversing the provence, surveying farms beyond the reach of any GPS - this routine doesn't sit right, the 2 highly potent drugs battle hard for your receptors. You can be motoring along on modafinil. Excel charts pop out like doves from a black tie magician - Initial out lay, graduated 25 year cell efficiency, adjusted against interest rates, re-adjusted against energy inflation - the from the peripheral your asked do you take tea or coffee - and you don't fucking know, you have to take one, you always take one, but its a blind bend. the afternoons 14 mg of etizolam cannot compute - you want out - you want a plane ticket. Confidence that most Quixotic, is making a break for the door. sliding of the laptop, stealing the bright hues of the brochure's and the 11yr old's interest. This is a £26k pitch here. Only a corp marshall's authority and integrity allow for a narrative structure and no it must flow flawlessly as if choreographed by Ana Pavlova herself - and you'e changed your mind about tea or coffee twice.
It's gone, get out, the mexicans wrestlers are on the horizon and in greater numbers. A floundering appeal on behalf of the 40 miles before the tactical withdrawal, 16% per annum Mr Random Cunt, no other government backed scheme comes close, nice residual income stream. And all this is true - manufacturer's cost of equipment is £9,000 Wholesaler £14,000 Retail £26,000