• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

December Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Hello Holidaze

Feeling scared and sad and alone today. Just horrified and overwhelmed by the risky, awful shit I've been doing to myself over the years. Not sure why it's coming home to roost today.
 
Hi everyone. Haven't logged on in a bit. Been a good crazy for a few months. I'm now a married man ( been a little over a month). The last month before the wedding was crazy busy and consumed so much time. In he end with how stressed I was it was so worth it 2000% !!! Everything turned out 2000% beyond what I ever expected. Good times. I hope everyone find themselves well. It's off to Vegas for New Years to Visit my In-laws. You won't find me anywhere near The North end of Las Vegas Blvd, i.e. The Strip. I'll be eating Pozole with the family in the warm. Happy Early New Years!
 
Last edited:
simco said:
Feeling scared and sad and alone today. Just horrified and overwhelmed by the risky, awful shit I've been doing to myself over the years. Not sure why it's coming home to roost today.
Click to expand...

i've been dealing with this too, i'm happy to say that i have completed a honest 4th step, which is 48 pages front and back of all the awful shit i've done to others,and others done to me. including my sex inventory now that shit rattled me up because at a lot of meetings i still have a hard time having a face to face conversation with some of the females because i know how much of a piece of shit i have been to them in the past, and its just hard for me to picture me being their friend because of all the raunchy shit i've done to females over the years.
i should be dropping my 5th step sometime this week, and i'm really looking forward to it because thats when i get to let all that hate n shit finally go.

know that your not alone simco. we can be friends :)
 
Hello everyone :) I hope the holidays are treating you all well.
I admire you all so much.
The community here is absolutely wonderful. You are all so welcoming, honest, and always so caring in every sense of the word.
I am grateful to have found and be a part of this 'family' ;)
Here is some support and positive vibes to those of you struggling, and on the constant quest to better yourselves. ~*^_^*~
Here's to the new year! <3
 
D's said:
i've been dealing with this too, i'm happy to say that i have completed a honest 4th step, which is 48 pages front and back of all the awful shit i've done to others,and others done to me. including my sex inventory now that shit rattled me up because at a lot of meetings i still have a hard time having a face to face conversation with some of the females because i know how much of a piece of shit i have been to them in the past, and its just hard for me to picture me being their friend because of all the raunchy shit i've done to females over the years.
i should be dropping my 5th step sometime this week, and i'm really looking forward to it because thats when i get to let all that hate n shit finally go.

know that your not alone simco. we can be friends :)
Click to expand...

Thanks, man! Feeling a bit better. Slammed with cravings, but basically ship shape.

I'm gonna put a longer post about this in my "recovery journal" thread... but I've been getting more involved with NA recently. I still have a lot of reservations about me and twelve step groups working well together. But at this point I'm desperate, and honestly, I'll do almost anything to stay clean. (Just thought I'd mention that in light of your own statements about your program).

And thanks for friending me! <3
Sim
 
so at the recovery center i'm at i happened to walk over to the detox unit to give the guys there some cigarettes, i just so happened to look at their 'death board' and there are 12 new deaths on that board since i've been at the program. (the death board has people on it that have been thru the detox @ the program), and wow. i had the thought cross my mind. there goes I, by gods grace i am still alive on the world typing to you all today.

my plan of action for today,
going to an AA meeting called travelers @2pm, good meeting, everyone goes around saying where they are from , was able to share at the meeting about my friend axl/jim passing away. received a lot of support.
then prob coming back to the library till 4ish, then taking off back to the recovery center i'm at, going to a 6:30pm AA meeting later, and after the meeting I may, or may not go to an 8pm NA meeting. (depends if the weather is bad)..hell i used to go cope dope in a thunderfuck snow storm so I might as well go.

centering myself around my support group this weekend because of the new years n shit. this time last year i was getting fucked up, and now this time i am doing something about it.

happy new years !
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top