death

[34-Empathy]

my names Jack i'm a drug addict.
I recently stopped for 400-500mg diazepam a day addiction after 2 years.

I was with my first girlfriend from 17. but i started using mephedrone, speed, E's and other shit while with her. she never touched drugs or drink. i was her first everything. i never physically abused her, ever! I NEVER LAID A FINGER ON HER. I loved her more than life. thats my problem, I love others more than I love myself( is this normal for addicts? ) but after 5 years she cheated on me, every girlfriend I have had had cheated on me...

I know I deserve this for what I done to Kelly, but I am thinking is this going to happen for the rest of my life?
Is it worht waking up another day? when I can put myself to sleep for ever?
All I is to be loved.

any comments will help x

 

[angeleyes]

Hi Jack,

No you don't deserve it, people do their own actions in this world (just as you have done your actions) and this is just the summary from a Knight in a long game of Chess.

For every action we make on the world, there is another reaction that occurs because of that action. (Science/philosiphy/bad quote either way when we do something, there is an effect. )The sooner I figured this concept and stopped wallowing in my own self-pity/self-hate, I started to feel a lot better about myself.

Instead of feeling bad, I can feel good.

Instead of doing bad things... I can do good things.


If we all do this system of pay it forward ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pay_it_forward ) we notice generally better things in our life.

Call it karma, call it this system, this is the system that works. Good things come to people who do good things.


That is good you love others more than yourself. That is incredibly rare to find in the human race due to earth being a very dog eat dog world. My ex cheated on me with my best friend so I know how you feel about being cheated on. The best thing to honestly do in your life is to move on and try to live every day to your fullest, that is what I did since I "woke up" to myself, of course I find myself on troubling paths at times but in all seriousness, who doesn't?

I like this concept of life because it works for me and subconsciously, I am at ease most of the time, and that is a lot more than before.


Try and keep your head up mate, we all get through these bad times together.

 

[Maya]

Yes like what afterstyle said you don't deserve it. We love and when we do, there is a point where we get hurt. Then if they cheated, you find a person who you should get to know more first and see how it goes.

I have been in relationships where I've been cheated on and you know what, I left right away because I deserve better, I deserve to find a better partner. Right now I am with a really nice guy who have never cheated and so have I so it just takes time to find that someone really meant for you.