Hello r2mx,
Apparently you like to read my journal. I know you used to when we were friends but I have no idea why you do now. Regardless, since you have taken the time to read this I will make this entry for you.
Nathan, I have been gutted since we fell out, and not because I feel wronged or whatever. I think your concerns are valid, and although the way you have expressed yourself has been a bit childish, you did have your best friend in your concerns.
It really sucks eggs to lose you as a mate, Seriously. I think you are very funny and good value to be honest, and just want to remember those good points.
I am sorry for many things. I know you were concerned about ny drug use and that of your friend. You were right.
You asked me to call you when I got off the speed. I been off 7 weeks, and thats a big block of time considering my habit.
I was extremely angry at some interjections from you into what I think were difficulties between him and I. Take note of the zero level of interference there was from me between you and your girl. You might have had the best of intentions but that sucked mate.
Anyway, the long and the short of it is this: Im pretty gutted at the way things are. Awful. I dont know what to do or even if there is anything that can be done to make things better between you and me but I hope one day we can talk as adults.
I know I have fucked up here and there. I dont think I can recount in my brain events and details as its all a jumbled mess.
I hope you can eventually see again that we did get along and acknowledge the effort put in to get off drugs, as you asked ages ago.
Ill be the first to admit that there has not been a normal Liz to be found when the drugs are taken away. Its fucking weird man. I dont know if what is happening in my brain will last or not. I bloody hope not as it is not pleasant.
Whats making this worse is the on going regret of losing you as a friend, and what happened between him and I. This guts me to the core.
I love him with a huge amount of passion. I sent him an email earlier which hopefully explained what I think I have to do that is right by him as Im pretty fucked in the head, having a crazy fuck knuckle as a girlfriend is not something I want for him at all. I wish things had have been better, or recovery more successful. This whole thing is really getting me down and I cant seem to get back out into a happy frame of mind where all can be good again. This is because, I think anyway, of a lot of unresolved shit between you and I, and some between him and I.
I want you to know, despite everything thats gone on, I miss you as my mate. I would be lying if I said I didnt. Does that make me a piece of puke you slip on in the dunnies at Splendour? Maybe.
Its the people in your life you have respect and love for that hurt the most when you lose them.
I was pretty fucking ill for a long time, getting better is going to be a long process and I need all the peace and calm I can get. Please respect my will to get better and also my love for him by giving me some space and maybe an open mind.
If its the best thing for him, to love from afar, then that is what I will do. But I cant, wont stop loving him. Hes one of the best people I have ever met.
Liz
Apparently you like to read my journal. I know you used to when we were friends but I have no idea why you do now. Regardless, since you have taken the time to read this I will make this entry for you.
Nathan, I have been gutted since we fell out, and not because I feel wronged or whatever. I think your concerns are valid, and although the way you have expressed yourself has been a bit childish, you did have your best friend in your concerns.
It really sucks eggs to lose you as a mate, Seriously. I think you are very funny and good value to be honest, and just want to remember those good points.
I am sorry for many things. I know you were concerned about ny drug use and that of your friend. You were right.
You asked me to call you when I got off the speed. I been off 7 weeks, and thats a big block of time considering my habit.
I was extremely angry at some interjections from you into what I think were difficulties between him and I. Take note of the zero level of interference there was from me between you and your girl. You might have had the best of intentions but that sucked mate.
Anyway, the long and the short of it is this: Im pretty gutted at the way things are. Awful. I dont know what to do or even if there is anything that can be done to make things better between you and me but I hope one day we can talk as adults.
I know I have fucked up here and there. I dont think I can recount in my brain events and details as its all a jumbled mess.
I hope you can eventually see again that we did get along and acknowledge the effort put in to get off drugs, as you asked ages ago.
Ill be the first to admit that there has not been a normal Liz to be found when the drugs are taken away. Its fucking weird man. I dont know if what is happening in my brain will last or not. I bloody hope not as it is not pleasant.
Whats making this worse is the on going regret of losing you as a friend, and what happened between him and I. This guts me to the core.
I love him with a huge amount of passion. I sent him an email earlier which hopefully explained what I think I have to do that is right by him as Im pretty fucked in the head, having a crazy fuck knuckle as a girlfriend is not something I want for him at all. I wish things had have been better, or recovery more successful. This whole thing is really getting me down and I cant seem to get back out into a happy frame of mind where all can be good again. This is because, I think anyway, of a lot of unresolved shit between you and I, and some between him and I.
I want you to know, despite everything thats gone on, I miss you as my mate. I would be lying if I said I didnt. Does that make me a piece of puke you slip on in the dunnies at Splendour? Maybe.
Its the people in your life you have respect and love for that hurt the most when you lose them.
I was pretty fucking ill for a long time, getting better is going to be a long process and I need all the peace and calm I can get. Please respect my will to get better and also my love for him by giving me some space and maybe an open mind.
If its the best thing for him, to love from afar, then that is what I will do. But I cant, wont stop loving him. Hes one of the best people I have ever met.
Liz