neverwas
Bluelighter
i wish i had the answers.
i wish i knew where to look.
i wish i knew how to cure,
the pain you have caused.
my bottled fear and hurt.
on friday its my birthday.
another year gone by.
not a sound.
not a word.
makes me wonder,
why i still sit here and cry.
sometimes i wonder
if you are truely worth it.
sometimes i wonder if my father shelterd me
from the real you.
ten years gone by.
not a single word.
not a letter.
or post card.
i sit here by the phone.
hopeing everytime it rings,
it may be you.
not even a picture
but only one of our parting.
that day at the airport.
when you said you would ring.
but i never heard.
words cant express
why these tears i cry.
for i shouldnt feel this way.
cause to me that mother daughter bond
has died.
it is no more.
buried like a dead in its grave.
rotting away
like my aching heart bleeds.
please make it stop...
this torture,
this meaningless pain.
so i wake up tomorrow.
i struggle to cope.
i am in love,
ive replaced you.
the family i have now
and many before.
now have a bond that
you forfeited when you left.
each time this day rocks round
i become an emotional mess.
so i reach for the tissues,
and pray that i will here from you before your death.
...sometimes you dont realise what you have lost untill you dont have it anymore...my mother has advanced cervical cancer and it has been nearlly ten years since we spoke and each year when my bday rocks round as strong as i think i am i realise i am not...
i wish i knew where to look.
i wish i knew how to cure,
the pain you have caused.
my bottled fear and hurt.
on friday its my birthday.
another year gone by.
not a sound.
not a word.
makes me wonder,
why i still sit here and cry.
sometimes i wonder
if you are truely worth it.
sometimes i wonder if my father shelterd me
from the real you.
ten years gone by.
not a single word.
not a letter.
or post card.
i sit here by the phone.
hopeing everytime it rings,
it may be you.
not even a picture
but only one of our parting.
that day at the airport.
when you said you would ring.
but i never heard.
words cant express
why these tears i cry.
for i shouldnt feel this way.
cause to me that mother daughter bond
has died.
it is no more.
buried like a dead in its grave.
rotting away
like my aching heart bleeds.
please make it stop...
this torture,
this meaningless pain.
so i wake up tomorrow.
i struggle to cope.
i am in love,
ive replaced you.
the family i have now
and many before.
now have a bond that
you forfeited when you left.
each time this day rocks round
i become an emotional mess.
so i reach for the tissues,
and pray that i will here from you before your death.
...sometimes you dont realise what you have lost untill you dont have it anymore...my mother has advanced cervical cancer and it has been nearlly ten years since we spoke and each year when my bday rocks round as strong as i think i am i realise i am not...
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")