^ Golden , without going into sources etc online for ordering non scheduled drugs - ultram / tramadol will not be able to get to your house within 10-21 days if you order it that method. So honestly scratch that off the list if the trip is this weekend.
Thanks...I think I'll just have to deal with the WDs for now , then take what I have left for the trip.
heyhey... take it easy, I meant no disrespect.
All I was trying to say is that the concert would be the least of my worries because I remember how scary it was looking at the fruition of my opiate use.
I did go back and read some of your other posts and I see where you're coming from. I realize that my posts may have come off as some spoiled rich kid who just happen to dabble in opiates and went to far and who's now whining because they can't see a concert.
Believe me, that is so not the case.
I know its going to get worse...that's what's so scary. If I can't take it now...what's going to happen in the future? right? Yeah, I get that, believe me.
How dependent on something does a person have to be that they can't even go away for a WEEKEND without needing those drugs?
If it seems silly that I'm whining about a concert, its because like I said, this is really the only bright spot in my life lately. Its not like I had alot of money to go do this. I really stretched myself, I haven't travelled anywhere in years, but music is pretty much the only thing I enjoy these days and I made these plans months ago.
The week after I get home, I go with my father to the cancer center to see about interfuron treatment for his malignant melanoma. I want to be there for him, not a shaky, sweaty mess. My mom died of cancer when I was 10 , so he's my only remaining parent. So if it seems like not seeing a concert is the worst thing in my life it isnt. Its just that seeing it is the only GOOD thing in my life.
What's scary is that I didn't start taking opiates just for the high. Oh believe me, I loved the high. The word love is in the past tense, because of course, Irarely get that euphoric high from them anymore...gah, tolerance...you suck!
But I really did not feel normal before I started taking them.
I wrote a little about it in my introduction, but for months before I started opiates, I felt basically like I now feel when going through WDs. That's right, I had opiate WDs like symptoms before I took opiates. I was tense all the time, could never rest, couldn't sleep, restless leg syndrome. Opiates made all that go away. I felt good at first, now I just feel normal when I take them...And now I'm afraid that I will never ever feel normal again and that even when the WDs pass, if I stay off of drugs, I'll just go back to the state I was in before and that state SUCKED.
So yeah, I realize you didn't mean any disrespect...I think you were just trying to tell me if I think things are bad now, just wait. Although it may not seem like it...believe me I know that I'm in for a world of hurt and that is really why I am so freaking out.
Jeez, I hope all that made sense. I know I'm probably rambling right about now...but this is pretty much the best I can do at the moment.
*Edit*
The answer seems obvious:
Deal with the withdrawals you've created for yourself for the next few days, take the percocets and tramadol whilst gone on your trip to so you can see your favourite band and not be sick. I mean, what did you REALLY expect to happen when you abused an opiate for so long?! To somehow not have to deal with withdrawals at some point in time? Believe me, I feel your pain, I know how much it sucks, but you simply gotta deal with it and keep your chin up and do what's clearly the right choice - some withdrawals now, a good weekend withdrawal free, continue withdrawals next week, quit opiates. I say quit opiates, because you clearly aren't 'cut out' for opiate use/abuse/withdrawal.
EDIT
To OP: You actually have no idea about Draigan's life, either. His advice was sound. So is mine. You're dealing with opiate withdrawal which may get in the way of a concert...Opiate withdrawal from poppy-tea...NOT IVing multiple 8mg dilaudids for months. You aren't alone, your situation in fact is very mediocre on this forum. We're trying to do the best we can to help but you've gotta understand there's very little WE can do to help you. You can do the silly thing, take your percocets and tramadol now and stop withdrawals for a day or two, miss your concert or go to it in full blown withdrawals, or hunker down for the next 3 days, then take the percs and trams, see your concert not-sick, come home and finish the ordeal. And yeah, stay off the opiates, after reading your second post now you REALLY should, if you think this (rather minimal withdrawal you're dealing with) is worthy of losing it on a respected member here. Everyone here has been in your position. Me? Not with opiates, but I've coupled 4 days awake on research chemical stimulants WITH benzodiazepine withdrawal during the comedown. Draigan? He knows what he's talking about, 100%...!
*Edit*
Vortex, I wrote my last response before I read yours and as you can see, after thinking about it, I definitely see where he's coming from and where you are coming from.
I will disagree with you that poppy tea is mediocre WD. Its not. People who have withdrawn from Herion say poppy tea is the worse they've been though. No one can say what another person is feeling. Poppy tea may sound mild...i mean what could be so bad about tea made with pretty poppies, right? hat's what I thought. That was one of my mistakes.
But the rest of your post I totally get what you are saying and what he's saying. I know everyone on here has been through it too. That's why I post here. When I'm in better spirits I try to be supportive. I certainly know I don't know about D's life or anyone else's. I appreciate your response and everyone else's. Like I said, I may be whining about a trip, but my real fear is that if I can't even see a trip without drugs..how the fuck am I going to live the rest of my life? I also know there's not much anyone can do. But its good to know that I'm not alone.
And I am going to do just what you and some of the others said. Deal with the WDs, enjoy my trip and deal with the future as it comes.
Well at least this is is keeping me busy and somewhat functioning. Thanks for that.
