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dealing with the X number of days clean trigger

Candy_Raver

Candy_Raver

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Aug 7, 2008
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In the past I've run into issues with addictions with many different addictive compounds. I ended up going to rehab as the result, there was some success but I had a few relapses as well

One of the more common triggers that many folks who are recovering encounter is this situation: I have been clean for 1 week, 2 weeks, 1 month, 3 month, 6 month, or whatever date it is. I should reward myself by using to celebrate that I've manage to stay clean for this long. I've also seem many folks post about this on the forums as well, that they been clean for X amount of time and they should celebrate it by using that day.

My question is how do you deal with this situation?

Logically this makes no sense at all, if you been clean for this amount of time using again defeats the whole purpose of staying clean. Not to mention making this mistake means you just relapsed, and risk sinking yourself back into full blown addiction.

-PLUR
 
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Candy_Raver, this is indeed a really common slip-up that recovering addicts make. It's a difficult one to avoid because during our time as an addict, our brain's chemistry and functioning changes so that our drug of addiction is actually the only way our brain knows how to feel good. So it really doesn't know any better way to "celebrate" any victories.

It takes a lot of conscious effort at first, to think up new ways to celebrate and to feel good, but it's possible. The next step is to actually carry out those new celebratory activities, instead of falling back on the old habit of getting high. It's something that you've always got to be aware of, you've got to always be on your toes so to speak, to be able to catch yourself out any time you're thinking of reverting back to your old habits. In my experience this can be really exhausting in itself, and has occasionally led me back to drinking again from sheer emotional/mental exhaustion. But it's a work in progress :)

Over time as you get more used to living with your drug of addiction, you learn to "celebrate" just by being happy and healthy. That is good enough <3
 
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This is why we take it one day at a time. My six-year clean date was February 2nd of this year. My psychiatrist had to remind me to get a chip. I knew I had six years, but I don't consciously celebrate clean time in a way that's different from how I live my life now, because all we really have is today, which becomes a collection of "todays" that string together into a lifetime of recovery.
 
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I always threw my chips and pins away. I do not need milestone reminders like that. The only reward I need for being sober is to remain sober. Those things certainly help a lot of people, especially in the beginning though, but ya, I always actually used them as an excuse to relapse.

Well put Missy
 
The chips and pins are not for me either. I want people to clap for me, be proud of me and hug me when I do good things, not when I don't do bad things. Instead of simply celebrating the idea that I haven't drank or used for X days, I'd rather celebrate whatever I could only accomplish one I put the drinks and drugs down. I guess that some people really need to feel good about the numbers, but I just have kind of accepted being clean as a prerequisite. Anyone can celebrate not doing negative things (I would like my 27 year murder-free chip...;)), but to be able to celebrate positive things done you need to, you know, do positive things. And as long as you're focused on doing positive things, you're bettering your chances of not relapsing.

I think that people count days most when they are bored, and as boredom is a popular reason for relapses, day-counting is correlated as one as well.
 
I think it is good on one hand to be proud of how long you've stayed sober, and count the days, but sometimes, I think people get too caught up in the count, when IMO it shouldn't just be about that. I had nine months clean two years ago and relapsed on heroin. I tried to get back into the program but I was so caught up in having to reset my time, that I eventually just drifted away from it (of course there were other factors involved, like feeling like a complete failure in every regard).

I currently feel a little put off by twelve step programs, but I really do think the "one day at a time" phrase is really important. Thinking about the future puts so much pressure on you.
 
Znegative said:
I think it is good on one hand to be proud of how long you've stayed sober, and count the days, but sometimes, I think people get too caught up in the count, when IMO it shouldn't just be about that. I had nine months clean two years ago and relapsed on heroin. I tried to get back into the program but I was so caught up in having to reset my time, that I eventually just drifted away from it (of course there were other factors involved, like feeling like a complete failure in every regard).

I currently feel a little put off by twelve step programs, but I really do think the "one day at a time" phrase is really important. Thinking about the future puts so much pressure on you.
Click to expand...

That's why I mainly focus on now. Yesterday and tomorrow are the future nostalgic nows.
Now what?
 
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