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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Dealing with rape

herbavore - no, none of my friends know. Well my ex does since it happened while we were still together but he was a huge jerk about it so I don't feel comfortable talking to him about it agai.
samsonite - that's a terrific idea and I think I might do it. I think I don't want to have to deal with the way she might look at me when she knows, like if the pity is obvious or something. I don't know. It feels too intimate for her to know. I also don't want to have to go into details, I really don't think I'm ready to do that, but it's true it might be much easier if it's with someone I don't know and will never see again.
Stacianica - thank you. I do feel like my therapist is pushing for more than I care to divulge. It feels good to know I shouldn't necessarily immediately force myself to give her every last detail.

Once again, I can't emphasize how much you're all helping me <3
 
Ibogaine is the solution IMO. Read this article:
http://www.dcandco.net/ibo.htm
and listen to this radio interview:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/iboradio1/2011/10/30/dave-1st-hr-and-bovenga-2nd-hr
the guy was molested as a kid and he couldn't live his life because the memories regularly haunted him, no matter how hard he tried to banish them. Ibogaine cured him in a single session. Ibogaine is illegal in the US but you can find clinics in Canada that will oversee the therapy. If you have any opioid PAWS, ibogaine will wipe them out too. There is nothing like it. Its like it hits the reset button, not just for your neurochemistry but for your psychological state too. On top of all the physical healing it does, it gets to the core of any psychological traumas and unresolved issues and allows you to resolve them then and there.
 
i'm a dude and was raped by a friends older sister i'm probably the only case of this happening but i just keep it out of my mind and when i do think about it i just tell myself i'm happy it's done
 
Years ago we had a thread here called 'Pandora's Box' - You can search it to see other stories and how people dealt with their own similar situations.....I'm not going to link it here b/c I think you will get your own advice here that will be more tailored to you, but if you want the read, it's there. <3
I was sexually assaulted 3 separate times.
There is no right or wrong way to process this sort of thing or to heal from it.
Talking about it does help, even though its difficult.....if you feel you can't talk about it in detail, finding another way to process it would be wise.
Very often people will repress the memory, or even just choose to ignore it.
Ignoring it really only stores it in your mind for another day and in one way or another it will sneak it's way out. I'm glad that you are interested in trying to get through it in alternative ways, like EMDR. I've read its a good therapy for PTSD but have never tried it myself.
I dealt with my situations on my own which, while I for many years believed I was 'over it' - it only took another trigger, unrelated to sex, to bring the negative ways I reacted to it back some of the feelings I had then. If I could go back, I would have reached out more and gotten over the uncomfortable hump in therapy and dealt with the problem in a more structured way.
I hope that you choose to continue with your therapist and even get other opinions to work through the aftermath.
Just remember, it wasn't your fault. There is no shame in what happened to you. It doesn't change WHO you are <3
Keep your head up. <3
 
^ unfortunately this sounds good in theory but doesn't work too well in practice. After my attack, I was very tempted to carry a weapon. Truth is, I worried more about having it used against me. I took self-defense (judo) and got to brown belt. Even that did nothing for the fear. The fear is irrational in that it surfaces from a very deep place at all sorts of inappropriate times. Also, knowing that in my case, the element of surprise would have rendered any weapon I had useless. In the OP's case a weapon also would have been meaningless.
 
Hi Pagey, I remember your thread in SLR. I'm sorry you're not doing any better, and you are always welcome to post there about it as well.

I remember you talking about the pregnancy, and I think you did the right thing. You seemed unsure at the time, so maybe you are feeling guilty about it.

You did nothing wrong, my dear. And you are beautiful, funny, and strong and that only comes off from a forum. I'm sure you are 10000x better IRL. I probably wouldn't tell friends or family either, and shame on your ex for being a douche about it.

*hugs*
 
mrflowers00 said:
you could carry a knife around if feeling safe is an issue
Click to expand...

I've considered it. I've started walking around with pepper spray, which sounds stupid but it does make me feel a tiny bit better. Mostly I just get very, very scared if someone comes to talk to me in the street when I'm alone in the evening/at night or something, not that I do that very often anymore...

herbavore said:
^ unfortunately this sounds good in theory but doesn't work too well in practice. After my attack, I was very tempted to carry a weapon. Truth is, I worried more about having it used against me. I took self-defense (judo) and got to brown belt. Even that did nothing for the fear. The fear is irrational in that it surfaces from a very deep place at all sorts of inappropriate times. Also, knowing that in my case, the element of surprise would have rendered any weapon I had useless. In the OP's case a weapon also would have been meaningless.
Click to expand...

Huh, I'm also a brown belt in judo. I agree with you I don't think it would help me carrying a (real) weapon around with me because like you said, it could be used against me, and also like you said I would not have been able to use it even if I'd had one, when it happened. It makes me feel horribly vulnerable, like there's just no way I could defend myself, then or now...

Lysis said:
Hi Pagey, I remember your thread in SLR. I'm sorry you're not doing any better, and you are always welcome to post there about it as well.

I remember you talking about the pregnancy, and I think you did the right thing. You seemed unsure at the time, so maybe you are feeling guilty about it.

You did nothing wrong, my dear. And you are beautiful, funny, and strong and that only comes off from a forum. I'm sure you are 10000x better IRL. I probably wouldn't tell friends or family either, and shame on your ex for being a douche about it.

*hugs*
Click to expand...

Thank you <3
 
Look, I know it's horrible and traumatic, but you shouldn't be afraid of the asshole that did this to you. He's a cowardly lowlife prick that hurts other people to feel strong, and doesn't deserve to be feared. The sooner you get rid of the fear, the sooner the nightmares will disperse.

I'd suggest the illegal but effective controlled mdma therapy. But I know better than to do that, if you catch my meaning. Right?

Stay strong, and retain a positive view on the world, don't allow anything to compromise your well-being.
 
reading the posts first off id like to say im glad im not the only guy that has bin raped here. at first for me it was a little hard to deal with because im a guy and guys dont get raped by girls right? that never happens! i couldn't believe it and the few people i told thought i was ridiculous and should consider myself lucky that i got laid. but it is very violating to be drugged and do something you dont wana do. when i finnally told my psyciatrist it was a relief that he listened and tried to understand what i was going through... its nice to talk to a counceler or some one like that. suppressing the feelings just makes things worse. i dont know how it is for a female but it does get easier if delt with proporly and thats differnet for everybody my way was by talking about it to my psyc
 
^It's horrible the people you told reacted that way. It sounds so immature and ridiculous, I mean for God's sake it's not something to laugh about. Anyway I'm glad you're feeling better about it now.
 
Thought I might let you guys know I managed to squeeze in an appointment with my therapist earlier today and told her everything. It was horrible but I feel incredibly liberated now. Anyway I probably couldn't have done it without the support so thank you once again <3
 
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