Dealing with PAWS. Its no joke. (Advice please)

[Ian937]

Hey there everyone,bare with me as i attempt to type this on my iphone.
In last 4 months have been clean off H except for a relapse 3 wks ago, 3 day binge where i did speedball and od'd on the coke, by myself-lost vision, control of limbs, fell down stairs trying to get outside, i knocked buncha shit over but flagged down a cop and went to hospital via ambulance. No charges just hospital bill.
Now this was the first time in a decade of drug abusr that I nearly OD'd. Fast forward lil bit..
I got a sponsor and we talked everyday for first 1.5 wks/went to a mtng. Thing is, I work every day besides Friday so I didnt rly keep tabs w him as much as I probly shoulda, he goes to AA but used to smoke crack and H, and is very knowledgable of the steps, i definitley benefited from my time and convos w him, although I much prefer NA.
I broke down and called him as I walked out of work tonight. I should mention that I do take 2-4 mg of subs a day, and I know its a synthetic opiate derivative, but I get most of my feelings back on it, sex drive,test..etc. and definitley battle PAWS. Heroin was my lifestyle, all my friends i grew up w 90% are strung out/deal/or alchys.. So all i do is work, which is cool it keeps me busy..i need a new car(i walk now) and am getting real close to doing so...but HOLY SHIT this depression sucks, anyone have any advice on how to deal with it? At work i excercise/physical labor and I just started taking fish oil.. Any vitamins that can really help? Ive heard Vit C is important, at this stage I want to remain clean, so sick of working and not having anything to show for it.. This is hard shit tho man.. For the last yr i have been tryin to get straight and will get a month in and fucking break down.. I do feel NA can help with this..but man , any feedback is much appreciated!!
Much Love and lets keep fightin the good fight !

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey Ian.. IMO the best of defense is maintaining really good dopamine release levels.. the strongest weapon you have in this battle is also the hardest to utilize.. you must change the way you think.. a good place to start is to learn how to no longer judge things as good or bad.. whats nuts is that how we feel as well as our emotional response is really in our own mind, it is determined by the way we choose to think. >here< is some pretty good things on paws.. As you probably know paws is a pretty complex syndrome.. we at BL are working on a comprehensive thread right now and hope to have it up soon.. but as the current thinking on this is sketchy at best it is not proving to be an easy process.. what I do, and in my case it almost eliminate this phenomenon includes the following.. all of which are scientifically proven to increase dopamine and many facilitate neuroregulation.. exercise 30 min a day of aerobic, 20 twenty minute sessions of meditation ( i use a form of mantra meditation), keeping your self in today, as if we get into yesterday we are hit with extremely high levels of emotions driving use.. such as regret, shame, guilt, etc.. if we get into tomorrow we are hit with uncomfortable use driving levels of hopelessness, fear, anxiety, self doubt.. so find a way to keep ypur mind in today >mindfulness< is a really good place to start... >here< are some other ways of increasing dopamine levels.. to provide a little back up to this theory, since you are in the fellowships, a na meeting has so many dopamine releasing aspects designed into it, and this is a major reason we walk out felling allot better than when we walked in.. hugs produce dopamine, giving ourselves credit (key tags and "most importantly just for today" self applause, the sense of acceptance and belonging found at meetings, a moment of silence for the addict that still suffers (prayer and meditation cause a dopamine release, 100% scientifically proven), finding solutions to our problems (talking and listening during meetings).. there is much more incorporated in a meeting but this is a major key.. as addicts we reset the normal foe dopamine release and now have to figure out how to make up for this.. low levels of dopamine will cause the part of the brain where our addiction lives to push hard.. so please try and keep this up as much as possible, stay in today and LEARN TO ALTER YOU CORE THINKING... you can do this and be happy and at peace

OH and i little more to back this up >here<.. ha the edumicated.. they are on the right track but still have no clue how this works.. should turn into bl more often

for the lost enjoyable and successful recovery please make these things part of your life along with everything else that works,

 

[Ian937]

Wow thank you neversickanymore, what a great post!
I am not sure how many links were included in your reply. I can see the mindfulness, and it looks very interesting, going to dive right in now!! That is the only link i can see, was not sure if <here> was meant to be a link, either way, THANKYOUso much for that very thoughtful reply!!




**Edit- I see the links now! Thank-you . Great stuff

 

[Chromatictuner]

Hi Ian. The reason you are still experiencing PAWS after a month off heroin is because of the subs. They are keeping you in a state of late withdrawal limbo. Had you kicked clean, I promise the depression would have gone by now. The subs are denying you the last jump off. Everyone knows PAWS is the last stage and you will continue to be in that last stage forever if you don't end all opiate or synthetic opiate use. Im glad the subs let you get this far ,but that clear, friendly feeling wont come unless you make the decision to go completely clean. Best of luck. It's great your fighting the good fight.