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Dealing with heartbreak

sms143

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 4, 2012
Messages
142
Location
TN
It's such a long story.
I wouldn't know where to begin.
But my husband and I were dating a couple, but not anymore. It's been a year ago that the wife decided to divorce the husband at my house during a party she broke the news to him, and it has been a shit show since.
Then it's like me and my hubs had to choose between him and her, and we continued to date her after he just wrote us off before choosing as we were going to let them sort out the messy details of their divorce, while offering guidance to both if they needed it.

He completely ghosted me.
We talked and talked and 2 wks later after the divorce was proposed he wrote me and hubby off.
Blocked me on FB etc.
I still fuckin miss him for some reason.
I loved him.
Now it's been a year.

He moved out of his wife's house finally, got a gf.
And me and hubs continued to date our girlfriend.
Me and her worked together already and decided to take a nurse travel assignment together to Kansas, for 13 weeks and then I felt my biological clock ticking for another baby in January of this year when we first moved to Kansas and well things with the gf were crazy...she has borderline personality disorder (undiagnosed) I'm sure of.
She was fighting about absurd shit like not cumming during sex or who hubs would cum inside during sex.
This weighed heavy on my decision to cool things with her and try for a baby with my hubs when we got back home from Kansas.
The conversation exploded with her and she immediately got back together with her manipulative sociopath husband that she was in the process of getting a divorce with and hopped on a plane and fucked him.

Wow.
And the next 11 weeks living with her was a complete shit show.
We had to share a bed together with as well.
Fast forward...we got back to hometown in April and we both work at the same hospital here as well and no longer speak and here I am missing her for some reason.
Do I like toxic relationships?
I fuckin miss her husband too (my ex bf)
I loved him (not like my husband) and I loved the sex.
Her husband also worked w my husband and had a great job as well but quit.
And works at fucking walmart unloading trucks.
Wow.

In the end they were toxic?
But also I loved them.
Sigh, what's wrong w me.
I still have all the texts he sent me and old pictures etc.
I'm still hearbroken.
Anyone every been back and forth w a toxic relationship?
 
Yes, I have been in several toxic relationships.

TBH, I sort of enjoy the turbulence.

In regards to heartache.. not sure. I don't have sentimental things that I remember people by, when they're out of sight they're out of mind, for the most part. How would you describe your feeling of love? Like, pretend i'm a child. Is it when you'd do almost anything for them? I love drugs IMO.

But, I feel for you, and hopefully your life is a lot less chaotic now.
 
Yes, I have been in several toxic relationships.

TBH, I sort of enjoy the turbulence.

In regards to heartache.. not sure. I don't have sentimental things that I remember people by, when they're out of sight they're out of mind, for the most part. How would you describe your feeling of love? Like, pretend i'm a child. Is it when you'd do almost anything for them? I love drugs IMO.

But, I feel for you, and hopefully your life is a lot less chaotic now.


I think you're right I like the turbulence.
But we had so many great times, but so many awful times too.
The sex was fucking fantastic with my boyfriend, he boosted my confidence, and made me feel like a queen. The girlfriend was a great lay as well but drama came w that, but I overlooked it, and felt it was worth it.

I do not love them as I would do anything for them.
That kind of love is reserved for my husband and daughter.

When I went into this whole situation it was intended to be just a good time and partying and occasional threesome and swap partners.
Then it turned into sleepovers, heart stickers through text, and calling it dating.
I feel in love.
Now I hurting to just lay in bed between them and giggle like we used to.
There was so much chemistry, plus it made me feel like a fox.
Now I've let myself go it seems physically, and a recent diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

I feel like I need closure and I've asked for it, but no response.
I feel like I'll never have this kind of relationship to share w my husband again.
 
OP whole thing sounds weird

just to me even though these people were bad in the end the fact they rejected you is whats making you pine

you have attachment issues
 
To hell with both of them! I've been in a toxic relationship, but I can't wrap my head around yours. There's a lot going on. Inviting others into a marriage is not a good idea because feelings can develop obviously. It can destroy your marriage. You're left hurting while the other couple has moved on.

You were just diagnosed bipolar so forget about those losers and take care of your mental health first.
 
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