i have to remember, it is not about how many times you fall down, but about how many times you get back up. if you make a mistake in sober life, even one not dealing in drugs, you must chose the warriors path and continue to face your fears. what i find about fears is that usually i make them out to be a lot worse than what they turn out to be. i will give you a really good analogy that has helped me in hard times when i face a problem and i question my self confidence and my self..
lets say you have a house, with a gardening shed outside in the back yard. it is mid-day in late july, and it is a hot and humid day in Georgia. the vibrantly shinning sun warms you to the core. and a slight, brisk breeze adds a note of perfection to the day. the day has been nothing but a pleasure for you, relaxing without a care in the world to be tended to as you sip on a home-made glass of chilled lemonade under the shade of your covered deck. enjoying the icy cold beverage, it quenches your thirst, moistens your parched throat, and cools you down. you look out across the breath-taking, well-planned, and well-kept landscape you call your backyard, embracing all its beauty. you allow yourself to feel proud for all the hard work you dedicated to tirelessly trimming tenable, dark green grass, planting massive, strong and leafy trees of green ash and american beech, tending bright, colored flowers of purple, blue, and yellow, sculpting eloquent fountains of angels and demons, and building the ornate, detailed patio you sit under . "What a perfect day! How grateful i am to experience life and all its beauties unadulterated," you think to yourself. then you notice that the clouds are shifting above thus blocking the harshness of the suns rays. being a native of the southeast, you know that these clouds are not as ambivalent as they seem to be, and that they mean that an afternoon thunderstorm is approaching. you decide to take advantage of the passing placidity of the clouds overhead and the cooling shade they bring to do some gardening before the storm hits. after lacing up the gardening boots and equipping the rest of your REI gardening gear you recently bought from the extra money you have from not using dope, you hop off your sheltered deck with confidence, and you enthusiastically open the door to the shed. before you have a chance to turn on the lights and get some bearing of your surroundings, you see a GIANT snake inside right at your feet!! so you scream and shout at the top of your lungs, your heart beats rapidly and you think you are about to die. all of the sudden the day has turned sour, and your mind begins to race with illogical thoughts.
"should i kill it, but how? what if i get bitten and go to the hosptial and possibly die? what about the pain i will have to endure? how will i make it through? or should i decide to run? but what about the next time i want to garden? how will i do it with a snake in there? how will i tend to my garden i worked so hard on if i cant get to my tools inside the shed? did i just waste all the time working on my garden for nothing? ahhh, whats the point anyways? i cant kill the snake because i am such a good for nothing coward!! there is no point anymore in my trying to keep my garden. even though i thoroughly enjoy gardening and working in the backyard and it brings me great joy unlike the joy drugs have ever brought me, i cannot face the snake because i am fat and stupid and slow. i am so dumb for even trying to keep a backyard like this. i am such a loser. what am i going to do with my time now? i might aswell go back to using drugs and living on the street!!!"
as soon as the situation begins, it ends. the sun breaks through the clouds and shines light into your shed. you realize that this snake was actually just a coiled up hose! "how silly!" you exclaim to yourself. after your heart resides to a nonchalant pace, your breathing returns to norm, and you gather your wits about you, you understand that the fears you created in your head were nothing more than incredulous thoughts and preconceived beliefs. nothing more, nothing less.
i find most of the problems that i face in my life are like this, yet some are dire as they seem. however, 95% of fears and problems i THINK i have are nothing more than a coiled up hose in the gardening shed.
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what is your first reaction in life when you hit that wall, when you come to that edge of the cliff of a 1000 foot mountain? do you use drugs to run away, run headlong into a situation and make it worse by acting without thinking, or do you take the time to be mindful of situations and deal with your problems as they come? or do you have an entirely new way of dealing with situations like the coiled up hose in the garden shed? do you recruit the help of friends and loved ones? do you try to handle the situation by yourself?
i think looking at out initial reaction to how we deal with things in our life is an essential part of sobriety because the impulse brings the out the unadulterated way of how we view life and ourselves. also, what ways or tools do you use to help you deal with difficult situations, especially fear? what do you suggest for someone that is new into sobriety to do when he or she faces that fear? making a list to see what works for you will really help me and many other people when they come into difficult situations and want to use drugs
lets say you have a house, with a gardening shed outside in the back yard. it is mid-day in late july, and it is a hot and humid day in Georgia. the vibrantly shinning sun warms you to the core. and a slight, brisk breeze adds a note of perfection to the day. the day has been nothing but a pleasure for you, relaxing without a care in the world to be tended to as you sip on a home-made glass of chilled lemonade under the shade of your covered deck. enjoying the icy cold beverage, it quenches your thirst, moistens your parched throat, and cools you down. you look out across the breath-taking, well-planned, and well-kept landscape you call your backyard, embracing all its beauty. you allow yourself to feel proud for all the hard work you dedicated to tirelessly trimming tenable, dark green grass, planting massive, strong and leafy trees of green ash and american beech, tending bright, colored flowers of purple, blue, and yellow, sculpting eloquent fountains of angels and demons, and building the ornate, detailed patio you sit under . "What a perfect day! How grateful i am to experience life and all its beauties unadulterated," you think to yourself. then you notice that the clouds are shifting above thus blocking the harshness of the suns rays. being a native of the southeast, you know that these clouds are not as ambivalent as they seem to be, and that they mean that an afternoon thunderstorm is approaching. you decide to take advantage of the passing placidity of the clouds overhead and the cooling shade they bring to do some gardening before the storm hits. after lacing up the gardening boots and equipping the rest of your REI gardening gear you recently bought from the extra money you have from not using dope, you hop off your sheltered deck with confidence, and you enthusiastically open the door to the shed. before you have a chance to turn on the lights and get some bearing of your surroundings, you see a GIANT snake inside right at your feet!! so you scream and shout at the top of your lungs, your heart beats rapidly and you think you are about to die. all of the sudden the day has turned sour, and your mind begins to race with illogical thoughts.
"should i kill it, but how? what if i get bitten and go to the hosptial and possibly die? what about the pain i will have to endure? how will i make it through? or should i decide to run? but what about the next time i want to garden? how will i do it with a snake in there? how will i tend to my garden i worked so hard on if i cant get to my tools inside the shed? did i just waste all the time working on my garden for nothing? ahhh, whats the point anyways? i cant kill the snake because i am such a good for nothing coward!! there is no point anymore in my trying to keep my garden. even though i thoroughly enjoy gardening and working in the backyard and it brings me great joy unlike the joy drugs have ever brought me, i cannot face the snake because i am fat and stupid and slow. i am so dumb for even trying to keep a backyard like this. i am such a loser. what am i going to do with my time now? i might aswell go back to using drugs and living on the street!!!"
as soon as the situation begins, it ends. the sun breaks through the clouds and shines light into your shed. you realize that this snake was actually just a coiled up hose! "how silly!" you exclaim to yourself. after your heart resides to a nonchalant pace, your breathing returns to norm, and you gather your wits about you, you understand that the fears you created in your head were nothing more than incredulous thoughts and preconceived beliefs. nothing more, nothing less.
i find most of the problems that i face in my life are like this, yet some are dire as they seem. however, 95% of fears and problems i THINK i have are nothing more than a coiled up hose in the gardening shed.
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what is your first reaction in life when you hit that wall, when you come to that edge of the cliff of a 1000 foot mountain? do you use drugs to run away, run headlong into a situation and make it worse by acting without thinking, or do you take the time to be mindful of situations and deal with your problems as they come? or do you have an entirely new way of dealing with situations like the coiled up hose in the garden shed? do you recruit the help of friends and loved ones? do you try to handle the situation by yourself?
i think looking at out initial reaction to how we deal with things in our life is an essential part of sobriety because the impulse brings the out the unadulterated way of how we view life and ourselves. also, what ways or tools do you use to help you deal with difficult situations, especially fear? what do you suggest for someone that is new into sobriety to do when he or she faces that fear? making a list to see what works for you will really help me and many other people when they come into difficult situations and want to use drugs
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