Mental Health Dealing With Death

[llama112]

I've never lost anyone too close to me but my best firend passed away (reasons unknown) and I'm having a hard time with it. I don't know how to grieve and I just don't know what to do. I have no idea how to manage this or feel this or anything. I'm only 27. This shouldn't happen. I just don't know what to do. I don't know if this is in the wrong forum.
I have BPD, anxiety, depression, so it's hitting me in numerous ways I think and just overall difficult.

 

[Tubbs]

I can sympathize with what you're going through. My best friend overdosed when I was 15, the one thing I can really say is it is very important to deal with the emotions you are having so you can grieve.

 

[hoffsteader]

I think everybody processes death in their own way. Some people are more expressive than others, some people are quieter about it. Personally I fear it when it is approaching but I'm mostly okay with accepting it once it has occurred.

I would try to make sure that there is at least somebody I can talk to it about so that I don't feel I have to go through it alone. Well I guess you already took care of that here

 

[llama112]

Thanks. I really am clueless, I've never lost anyone close to me. And I have to deal with legal stuff and it's crazy. I just want to be alone and cry but everyone is so worried about me since I attempted suicide before ughhhh

 

[hoffsteader]

Then you have a nice support system. Of course it doesn't mean you'll attempt suicide again, but it's still a good idea to take care of yourself.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

I'm really sorry to hear that. Thanks for confiding in us.

I think everybody processes death in their own way. Some people are more expressive than others, some people are quieter about it. Personally I fear it when it is approaching but I'm mostly okay with accepting it once it has occurred.

I would try to make sure that there is at least somebody I can talk to it about so that I don't feel I have to go through it alone. Well I guess you already took care of that here

This is spot-on. I took a class on this a year ago in university. the thing is: everyone grieves differently. Despite Kubler-Ross (you may want to look up her ideas on it), there are as many ways to grieve, as their are people. Almost a good third of people live a life of greater quality after losing a love one, just to state. Also, it's not at all abnormal to feel as if one is in the presence of, or even speaking to, the spirit of the deceased. Grieve in the manner that is you.

 

[SamanthaB]

Hi, I am very sorry to hear about your best friend's death. Dealing with the death of anyone close to us is incredibly hard. I have one piece of advice for you. Allow yourself to just go straight through it, meaning feel what you feel and allow yourself to cry and feel sad if that is what you feel like doing and/or talking to others about your friend and what you are feeling. You are more likely to get suicidal if you stuff your feelings than if you let them express themselves. Allowing yourself to go straight through this for whatever time you need will be easier in the long run, so you will be able to move on from this.

 

[chompy]

Sorry to hear that you lost a friend. Since I was a teenager I've lost friends to accidents and whatnot. You miss them a lot at first and you miss them on special days, but as time goes by, the pain fades a bit. Take some time to grieve/remember your friends in your own way.

 

[herbavore]

Hi, I am very sorry to hear about your best friend's death. Dealing with the death of anyone close to us is incredibly hard. I have one piece of advice for you. Allow yourself to just go straight through it, meaning feel what you feel and allow yourself to cry and feel sad if that is what you feel like doing and/or talking to others about your friend and what you are feeling. You are more likely to get suicidal if you stuff your feelings than if you let them express themselves. Allowing yourself to go straight through this for whatever time you need will be easier in the long run, so you will be able to move on from this.

This is my advice as well. Let it roll through you, over you and let it change you. Grief is not like a cold, despite common concepts like "closure" and "healing"--it does not have an end date; rather, it changes you, stretches you beyond what you may have thought were your limits. Losing a best friend is very hard and yet few recognize the depth of that loss compared to losing family. I lost my friend that I talked to at least once a day every day. It's a loss that I continue to feel every day.

The acute pain does lessen over time. Writing helps.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

^I couldn't have said it better SamanthaB, and herby!

You grieve your own way. You understand it in your own way. Nothing is wrong about it. Become aware of you walking your own, unique path in the whole process. Nothing is wrong, if it is genuine. Let it wash over you.