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dealing with chronic pain and its psychological effects at 18

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turbonegro

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i was gonna put this in TDS but wasnt sure if it went there

i have pretty bad TMJ and its starting to get alot worse. thankfully, due to an incident sometime last year i took the time to find a very understanding primary care dr, however i feel this is getting beyond his control both physically and mentally. im in consultation with an oral surgeon who referred me to PT, and i will gladly go through that although the pain will kill me at first. im just looking for advice on how to deal with the mental aspects of chronic pain because its starting to make me very depressed and very anxious (i already suffer from depression and anxiety/panic disorder, the latter makes my jaw muscles tense up uncontrollably) because i never know when the next severe lock up or muscle spasm will hit, leaving me in all sorts of pain and needing at the very least a trip to my dr for a toradol shot.

any help/advice is much appreciated
 
We all have different reasons to have anxiety, yet the fundamentals are all the same. I can truly understand where you are coming from (your age), it really is hard to get the respect from doctors so that they can determine the best ways to manage your pain. I am only 20 also, and it has been hard to find a doctor that treats me with general courtesy, respect, and concern. That may be slightly off-topic, but I'm sure you have had trouble with it. Are you on any kind of pain medication? (other than otc NSAID"S)
 
I can understand your frustration. I have suffered from chronic pain for more than 16 years. I have depression and anxiety as well. The most aggrivating thing that I have found is accepting the fact that I will never be able to function like I did before I was diagnosed. I have never accepted my illness and have always kept going like there was nothing wrong. Until 2 months ago, I had an emotional meltdown. I then realized that my physical pain and my emotional pain is tied together whether I like it or not and I need to work on accepting it. I would suggest finding a psychologist that has experience dealing with people that have chronic pain. I know personally that has helped me tremendously.

The absolute worst thing you can do is get on pain meds. I was doctor's assisted opiate addicted for 11 years but I have been clean for almost 6 years.
 
Take his advice, opiates are heaven and hell, love and hate, the worst and best medication ever made. My guess is if you are on Bluelight, you obviously have had the motive to sign up for a drug forum, so you probably have already had experience with opiates. Be careful man I'm on them, and be intelligent. I know this is somewhat diverted from your original post but if it is as bad as you say it is, then surely you have been on an opiate regimen. Best of luck to you, let us know how you are doing and if any of this has helped.
 
I'm getting a more emotional feel to your questions so I am going to move this over to TDS as you originally thought. Check out the "Pain Management" thread found in the OD Directory (linked in my signature) and if you want more concrete medical advice you can ask for to be transferred over there.

homeless >>> TDS
 
Aum Sham Shankhini'bhya'm Namah

i have been through it all to get to this point - the above "mantra" is specifically for TMJ and temporal lobe headaches/migraines, eye inflammation-pain.

after doing something similar to this, repeating it 108 times per sitting, it can be hard for me to open my eyes if they close, or even think to stop...
i actually do not want opioids or benzos in my system, because this works so well, and because of this i feel like a "louse", or that i am discrediting the effectiveness and therefore being disrespectful, trying to meditate or what-ever on the stuff.

after completing part of my routine, i will feel like i do after being in a hot-tub(a thought i had earlier) - it took me a bit of research and practice to find what worked best for myself, but, doing so has proven to be priceless, especially for relaxing. if i had fully understood the actual usefulness of this, i would of avoided a lot of trouble. it is something that gradually incorporates into your daily life, so much better then doctors and clinics specialists and pharmacies so many times a week...never-mind illegal drugs and alcohol.


be well
 
i was recently switched from tramadol 100mg 3x daily to hydrocodone 5/500 3x daily so i can have some kind of realistic shot at physical therapy. I also take nortriptyline 50mg at night, its a low dose because im intolerant to amitriptyline and my dr wants to be careful. I can go in for toradol shots when the pain is severe as well. As far as how im doing, im holding up but its really starting to hit me that ill never be able to speak or eat without pain..and im not ok with that. I think a psychiatrist is a good idea but there are very few around here so im not sure about finding one who is experienced with chronic pain, thats part of the reason i want to see a pain dr so theyll be somewhat more specialized in what im going through. Thanks for the support, its nice to know im not alone
 
I think toradol is a bad idea.. also try alternating the tramadol and the hydrocodone, it will extend your tolerance fro the hydrocodone. Actually now that I think of it maybe tramadol is a bad idea also, it has a stimulative effect and works differently than other opiates, and due to your symptoms you need a morphine derative opiate. Such as like 60 mg of codeine. Thats just my take on it. And the nortriptyline I would not recommend either because of your condition!! You need a benzo/muscle relaxer regimen at night, not an antidepressant. I would figure they would at least try something like meprobamate "off label" in my opinion would work wonders for you. Due to your age though, they will give you a hard time. Maybe try busiprone? It doesnt work that well but it is a stepping stone to get you the right medication you need to control your symptoms. I'm not a Dr. btw so this is just peer-peer advice. But Meprobamate I think would work wonders.
 
id go for subutex or buprenorphine. It isnt as sedating or dulling as full opiates and its active 24/7, it has a mild antidepressive effect as well. It works for neuropathic pain and normal pain, and keeps its efficacy for a good while. Also you wont escalate doses with it like other opiates.
 
You're very young, give your oral surgeon and the PT a chance before you pursue opiates. Acupuncture worked
wonders for my sister's TMJ.
 
^
i am 33 and consider myself too young, but avoid somehow addiction or "dependence" - my doctor offered me methadone, i kicked and screamed for it before when iit was needed, but now fuck you! im still waiting until i neeeed it again, or maybe 46(sounds good idk) i just have to remind myself of how we do become opioid tolerant altogether, and when you are fine with 2-3 800mg doses of oxycodone a day, man its trouble.

you should seriously look into acupuncture and eastern medicine entierly, medical marijuana or a decent doses of Marinol/Dranibinol absolutely, 5mg every 4-6 hours is a joke, BTW.

turbonegro said:
i im holding up but its really starting to hit me that ill never be able to speak or eat without pain..
Click to expand...

there are many things that will come to dawn on you. after finding my way to do simple things as you mentioned or tolerate not doing them - other things snuk into my mind, like - if i ever were to have kids, i am not going to be the one out playing catch(or take care at this rate), and if they were to jump on me like my brother and i would our dad ... that could have me on fire for a month. there is plenty more i have rationalized, and do everyday. this understanding, when it comes, it is such a simple thing i never thought i would not be able to do - because of something like this, never would of thought it possible.

i could write and write about this shit - and thats the part i should maybe get to.

maybe it isnt fair to try and point in a direction, but, there is a creative volcano in side you, as there is in each of us, there is also a gleam which does come, on one of those nights in crazy withdrawal, slap back pain, other "complications" and desperation that is seen and felt like 'diamond-white lightning' ... and then your life begins.

more then just accepting things as they are, life is seen as it is to be - as most never do.
what ever is out there, does not give us more then we can handle, this has been said to me many times, and i always rolled my eyes, until! if you have so much more then seems possible to handle, do understand you can, we usually do - we are not to have more then is possible, only because what we are given, is just enough to be able to turn into something positive, something to be given or shared, and done so in equal passion to the pain and frustration of it all. this is in turn a blessing, this is not the sort of energy, insight and devotion to life many have or are able to come to know, and it is yours uniquely. once you have a handle on this, how could you ask to not have it in your life anymore.?


please do stick around, there are plenty of people going through the same one way or another.
 
the toradol is for when im in severe pain and it helps tremendously. i actually asked for a referral to PM and his nurse said she would get me one but the dr apparently refused. the problem im having now is my insurance (medicaid) will not pay for PT for my jaw, nor will they pay for me to continue seeing the oral surgeon. i honestly feel like pain management is my only option, and my dentist originally offered me a refferal, which i turned down but im probably gonna go back and ask for it again because if i have to pay to see a dr outta my own pocket it might as well be one that manages my pain and somewhat improves my quality of life, not to mention knows more about the effects of chronic pain on patients and will not be afraid to prescribe the strength of painkillers i need. i read somewhere that the right dose of opiates can replace the endorphins or watever it is that makes u unable to deal with the pain in the first place, and that u can stay on that dose for years. any help is appreciated again, but i was wondering more how u guys are able to hold up when u wake up everyday knowing ull be in pain constantly for the rest of ur life. dont get me wrong im nowhere near suicidal, im just extremely depressed because there are so many things that are so hard to do when u cant even speak without a giant bone-on-bone crack in ur jaw and from the research ive done over the years its most likely not gonna ever get any better, just progress slowly. i am absolutely against permanent surgery on my jaw as no surgery has a high enough success rate for me to be comfortable and often make the problem worse.

i just feel helpless because now i cant even go to PT, cant go back and see the oral surgeon cuz i cant afford to pay outta pocket, and idk wat to do
 
also, i take temazepam 30 mg at night which works wonders, although it was prescribed before my diagnosis
 
"... but i was wondering more how u guys are able to hold up when u wake up everyday knowing ull be in pain constantly for the rest of ur life"

;;; realizing that i am not the only-one understanding why i could not wish this on any-one accepting fully that it has to happen to some-one


enough from me
;-)
 
well i got my temazepam refilled. its gonna be an easy sleep/ week. and yes i (ab)use them so i can deal with my monthly anxiety and jaw clenching (not grinding)

any advice on where to go when ur oral surgeon doesnt take medicaid and neither will PT? this is gettin so ridiculous i feel like shooting myself through the jaw
 
"... but i was wondering more how u guys are able to hold up when u wake up everyday knowing ull be in pain constantly for the rest of ur life"

i agree. I dwell on this every morning. I take painkillers to make the pain go away temporarily and then I get hooked on them. Then I try not to take any painkillers because they make me lazy and depressed (more so) and then the pain is overwhelming and I can't even concentrate in class or enjoy anything. It seems like an endless cycle and I can't find a balance. I wish there were more options for people like us.
 
what ever is out there, does not give us more then we can handle, this has been said to me many times, and i always rolled my eyes. the negatives we are given truly are just enough to be able to turn into a positive; something to be given or shared; done so in equal passion to the pain and frustration of it all. this is in turn a blessing, this is not the sort of energy, insight, and devotion to life many have or are able to come to know, and it is yours uniquely.


we, have more options then i will ever know - wishing/hoping/praying is not trying/doing/being

pain is a perception; i am not in pain the pain is in me.
there is no escaping only mastering reality
 
Well you should see a pain management Dr. like you said. Also as others have said, eastern medicine might help in the long run. I'm not a big fan of the toradol, I think it works for torso pain only, If that makes any sense LOL

Have you tried getting any kind of circumstantial approval through Medicaid/insurance?
 
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trickfire said:
Well you should see a pain management Dr. like you said. Also as others have said, eastern medicine might help in the long run. I'm not a big fan of the toradol, I think it works for torso pain only, If that makes any sense LOL

Have you tried getting any kind of circumstantial approval through Medicaid/insurance?
Click to expand...

as fucked up as it is, medicaid in missouri will not pay for dental for adults, period. i cannot afford eastern medicine/accupuncture as i am unemployed dues to the fact i cant stand to speak to customers a majority of the time.

i have asked for a referral to PM from my PCP but was turned down after saying they would refer me, i have to make an appointment with the dental clinic that originally offered it to me, and there is a waiting list.
toradol, for whatever reason, helps the muscles in my jaw relax, but doesnt touch the actual joint pain for some reason.
i cannot alternate tramadol and hydro because i was taken off tramadol to be put on the hydros
these hydros are not helping very much because they only last a few hours. i understand my dr's concerns but im very quickly losing patience and the will to live (again, not suicidal)

im thinking about asking for something like lyrica or maybe even an anti-anxiety agent to help with the muscle spasms at my next appt with him. he is very wary about prescribing narcotics but he is also very sympathetic and has been the ONLY one willing to even attempt to help me with my pain problems..maybe i should just stick with him because he actually listens to my problems and concerns and i have a great history with him. im just wary about asking for any opiate on any kind of long term


what worries me most is ill be starting college soon and theres no way ill be able to focus in class, nor will my classmates, with my jaw constantly popping and theres no way i can speak back and forth with the teacher on a regular basis


maybe im just venting here but im just looking for advice on how to keep the will to give a fuck honestly
 
panic in paradise said:
^
medical marijuana or a decent doses of Marinol/Dranibinol absolutely, 5mg every 4-6 hours is a joke, BTW.
Click to expand...

i live in MO, not a medical marijuana state and i doubt it would be very easy to get a marinol prescription, let alone afford it. ur right though it would help tremendously with pain like smoking weed does, and it would make it so much easier to eat. im just afraid ill look like SUCH a druggie if i go ask for marinol or dranibinol for chronic pain
 
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