It's weird, and maybe I'm reading too much into the situation, but I think me and a dealer are falling for each other! We started off having a "casual sexual relationship" where he'd fuck me and give me a decent-sized bag of crystal in return (yeah, basically I was his drug whore), but things seem to be changing. He's becoming a lot more affectionate towards me. A week ago we met up in the city park and just sat on a seat overlooking the river, with his arm around my shoulder. And when I went to his place last night there was no sex involved at all. We just kissed, watched a DVD together while cuddling on the couch, and eventually went to bed (at about 4am - we had both been smoking meth throughout the night). Still, there was no sex. He just spooned me in the bed, holding me close and kissing my bare shoulder goodnight. When I left at about 8am, he said "hey, you're forgetting something!" and threw me a full gram bag of chunky crystal shards. Apparently his cousin cooks it and gives it to him for free, so he always has a plentiful supply. 
I definitely like him. He's a good-looking Maori boy with a well-toned body, about the same age as me, and he's always been very kind and respectful. I'm guessing by his appearance that he isn't an addict - just an occasional user. Trouble is, I'm not 100% sure how he feels about me. Am I still a drug whore to him, even though he's becoming more and more boyfriend-like? Or is he genuinely into me? I also wonder if he's seeing other girls. It wouldn't surprise me if he is, but I couldn't handle that if we were gonna become an item. I like my relationships to be monogamous. I know I should probably ask him where we stand... but I'm just scared I'll just make a fool of myself. I really don't know what to do about this. Maybe time will tell.
I definitely like him. He's a good-looking Maori boy with a well-toned body, about the same age as me, and he's always been very kind and respectful. I'm guessing by his appearance that he isn't an addict - just an occasional user. Trouble is, I'm not 100% sure how he feels about me. Am I still a drug whore to him, even though he's becoming more and more boyfriend-like? Or is he genuinely into me? I also wonder if he's seeing other girls. It wouldn't surprise me if he is, but I couldn't handle that if we were gonna become an item. I like my relationships to be monogamous. I know I should probably ask him where we stand... but I'm just scared I'll just make a fool of myself. I really don't know what to do about this. Maybe time will tell.
