Kennethjalla83
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2018
- Messages
- 30
I was supposed to make a tread from day 1 to try and help myself but "my god" its been a rough ride. I was thinking ok its just a 5 month long relapse it cant be that bad..... Wrong! It was harder than anticipated but at the same time much easier than 3 years ago when i whent into detox after years of mixed abuse. I came here last monday after som heroin and a beer to start the day. Slowly as the evening came i was feeling more and more desperate and i awoke the next day feeling really shitty, did a COWS test and got 2 mg buprenorphine to start with. Yes i feelt normal again for some hours and got 2 more at the evening, ending up with a taper on 2 days x4mg then 2 days x2mg to help me true acute withdrawal. It really helped but this weekend after the taper was a test, and on Sunday i was ready to pack my bags and head home. Luckily they convinced me to stay 1 day at a time and finally after some days in hell i awake today after a gd night sleep feeling a morning bliss. Jumped out of bed enjoyed some music for the first time in a gd while, ate some breakfast and whent on the treadmill in the gym room and got the best endorphine rush i have felt in years. Finally staring to see a end to the misery, still struggling with getting tiered fast but mood and motivation is good. I have a good plan on my road ahead and further treatment. Crossing my fingers that this time it sticks, cant handle any more rounds in detox and i really miss the sober life i was living. This time i will protect my sobriety as if my life depends on it, and it does
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